Need a Man to make you happy?

It's the difference between...... Want and Need.
I never needed a man. When I divorced my ex after 22 years I was happily single and had no interest whatsoever in seeking another partner.
After 3 years I met my now present husband. Spent 8 years together in our own homes before getting married 18 very happy years ago.
If anything happened to him I would not want or need to replace him.

I love men …….but will NEVER live with one again.

I am single and have been for ten years After my divorce I was desperate for a relationship, I guess to prove I wasn't unlovable! Had a lovely relationship which restored my self-esteem. But when it came to the crunch I just couldn't do the whole partner/ husband/ commitment thing again. Am now happily single!

I think we are confusing happy partnerships with a man with needing a man in your life.

I have been happliy married for over 55 years, but I do not need a man in my life. I just enjoy having one specific man in my life, and should he go out of my life for any reason, I would not need to replace him with someone else, I would miss him very much, but it would be him in particular I missed not the lack of a male presence in my life. I have always been independent and self contained, so I will not feel the lack of someone in my life, who is physically close and, say, living with me and spending a lot of time with me, male or female.

Oh yes I need a man how can I cope not picking up after him running around after him. Picking up his smellie pants. Only someone with a man would think that. Woman don’t need men it’s men that need women. I can cope quite well without one. Got plenty of friends if I want a chat don’t need to explain to anyone what I’m doing. Had all that when I was married lol

i hade never been on my own since i was 13 apart from a few months now and again, married at 19 to someone i loved dearly but we wanted different things but we were happy and the marriage continued, i met someone at 22 and left my marriage after one night of sitting talking to this person, he was my soulmate and 18 years older than me, i was widowed at 39, 6 months later i joined a bereavement website for under 50s, i met a lovely person and the first thing he said on the phone was, if you want sex, i will be no use as i can't, we became partners, he kept his house and me mine, we stayed together for 18 years until he died 2 years ago. i am now 60 and i will never have another man in my life and i am okay with that, i don't get lonely as i am happy with my own company, i have various disabilities that have caused problems with going out and my walking but i am fine with it. i don't need a man, i stayed with both when they were dying, i told my partner it was time to go back to his wife and when i get there the four of us will have a double date, i still have there photos including my partners wife around me and the only men who could make me happy now is the 2 that i lost.

Yes and no. Some women find it difficult to be happy without a man in their lives some don't. Sorry I am stating the obvious.
Some women love other women and some just prefer being on their own. There I go again. The important thing is we should not judge or make assumptions about other people. We should try and reach out to people who are lonely for whatever reason. I am very grateful to all the family and friends who look out for me and only wish more people were as lucky as I am.

Fae1

OMG I cannot believe this question. The answer is definitely "yes", YES! YES. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman and my question would be "Can we be really happy WITH a man?". So many divorces and unhappy marriages. A completely daft premise to think that a woman's happiness depends on a man and so insulting too to same sex partnerships.

I can’t be the only one to be confused by Fael’s post. Or can anybody enlighten me?
Q. Need a man to make you happy?
A. Yes, yes, yes.
And then Fael goes to argue precisely the opposite …a completely daft premise to think that a woman’s happiness depends on a man and so insulting to same sex partnerships

I would not have another man in my life. Married to a good man for 45 years, widowed for 8 years. It was hard to get used to living on my own, I never had that the whole of my previous life.

I am independent and practical , can do most jobs wrt house maintenance etc. I am pragmatic, it is what it is and I am content enough

Fae1

OMG I cannot believe this question. The answer is definitely "yes", YES! YES. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman and my question would be "Can we be really happy WITH a man?". So many divorces and unhappy marriages. A completely daft premise to think that a woman's happiness depends on a man and so insulting too to same sex partnerships.

"Can we be completely happy with a man?" I was with my man. He died 12 years ago and I will never be properly happy again.

RosiesMaw

I lost my husband 6 years ago and would say quite honestly that I have no problem being without A man, but am less than whole without THAT man.
Does this answer your question?

this is exactly what I was going to say. I don't need a man, I need that person. Its 12 years for me.

I’ve been single for 17 years. Divorced my teenage sweetheart, remarried and three children with my second husband, several years alone as the kids grew up and then four years happily dating someone until he decided on a new future elsewhere. I’ll never let any man get close to me again. I’ve nothing to give a relationship and will not share my home, my heart, my time, again. I’m run ragged helping with grandchildren and neighbours, I shut my door and the solitude (with my pets) is priceless beyond words.

I wish I knew a man who’d go up a ladder, but I’d be happy to pay for that - and keep him outdoors.

OMG I cannot believe this question. The answer is definitely "yes", YES! YES. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman and my question would be "Can we be really happy WITH a man?". So many divorces and unhappy marriages. A completely daft premise to think that a woman's happiness depends on a man and so insulting too to same sex partnerships.

I'm not in a relationship and haven't been since my husband died fifteen years ago. I'm lucky enough not to need anyone to look after me, nor do I wish to look after another unless one of my children was in need. I don't want to feel obliged to consult the wants, needs and,frankly, the expectations of someone else and put my own wants and needs second, or to feel guilty that I'm doing whatever I want and leaving 'him' alone and resentful. Selfish? I don't think so. I'm neither hurting, nor neglecting anyone and I have no particular need to feel needed. I'm seventy-one, fit and active, out three evenings and all Saturday mornings. The idea of sharing my living space with an old man (or any man, really), clearing up after him, washing his clothes, cooking etc. is very off-putting. On the recent dating app thread, there were several posts describing the pitfalls of meeting someone new at my time of life. Nip over there and take a look!

If I could go back in time and choose I would BE a man!

Grand2dogs

Lovely post

My thoughts exactly RosiesMaw.
BTW I also wholeheartedly understood your description a short while ago about being 'relegated to granny in the corner'.

No, I don't need a man I'm a one-man woman. I like what I have thank you and appreciate him very much. I could never substitute him with another.
We have been together on and off for 57 years and were given 18 months at our wedding by his father. When we did the 7-year hitch.

Grand2dogs

I am a man, that’s for sure and 62 but quite old fashioned. I do the things that are frowned upon today like opening doors for ladies and walking near the kerb but I won’t change. Some people quite rightly are happy on their own and some not but a woman needs to be treated properly with dignity, affection and tenderness and that’s what I try to achieve.

Lovely post and you can open my doors for me any time Grand2dogs
But it’s not only women who deserve the dignity, affection and tenderness you quote- I would aim to show that to a man as much as I might expect (hope for) it.

A few years ago i went to work on an island in the South Atlantic for 6 months. At that point i had been married for 37 years. I lived there alone and found that i was happy with my own company and could cope with things as they arose. I realised that I could live alone but preferred to be in a couple. It was interesting to be so far away. Now after 53 years of marriage I’m the sole carer for my hubby who had suffered from encephalitis and cancer this year.

My wife and I have managed quite happily for over 20 years without a man - unless you count the cat.

Grand2dogs

I am a man, that’s for sure and 62 but quite old fashioned. I do the things that are frowned upon today like opening doors for ladies and walking near the kerb but I won’t change. Some people quite rightly are happy on their own and some not but a woman needs to be treated properly with dignity, affection and tenderness and that’s what I try to achieve.

Lovely post.
That is certainly how my husband and sons behave too.

When I was a young woman and knew that I wanted no children I used to think there was something wrong with me - that some of the bits that other women have had been "left out".

I was married for a very short time. It taught me that I do not want to live cheek by jowl with another human being - any human being. Men come in useful for lifting heavy stuff but Ive always preferred my own company. I would like a robot you could keep in a cupboard and just get out when you need it.

Now I realise that there were no "bits left out" because I didnt need a man or a child to complete me. It was not that other woman has something that I lacked. Rather that I did not need those things.

I am complete within myself.

Norah

I've known my husband over 70 years. I'm very introverted and quiet as is he, in my silence I do need him to be near. Nobody else.

To clarify: 'I talk for England', to him, but am otherwise silent.

I've known my husband over 70 years. I'm very introverted and quiet as is he, in my silence I do need him to be near. Nobody else.