Leaving marriage after 50

Jenho you will get through this difficult and discombobulating period and one day you will find your wings and fly free.
Take it a day at a time.
You can do this! Well done you.
One step at a time. 💐

You should be a priority for social housing now you are living in a refuge.

I divorced my abusive first husband after a terrible struggle I know how difficult it can be. You are strong you will survive listen to the advice you are given and never refuse help.

Look after yourself and watch your back soon the bad times will be behind you. I wish you the very best keep safe. When you can let us know how you get on.💐

Scarlettsnan I do hope something comes up soon.
Have you looked to see if you have local almshouses?
Other idea might be to see if the local parish has any church-owned properties. A friend of mine lived in a very nice church-owned flat until she moved area.

We have some lovely Alms houses in my town that people don't necessarily put their name down for as they are managed separately to the council waiting list, through a local charity.

Just a thought.

@scarlettsnan I hope you quickly find the new home you deserve for finding the strength to leave. Many people would stay, but staying in stressful situations isn't good for your health as you know. Although leaving takes courage and strentgh

I have left my marriage a year ago.
I am nearly 67

I have been living with my daughter on her sofa for the past year as no one will rent to me as I’m retired..
I am waiting for social housing but apparently I’m not homeless as I have a sofa to sleep on .
It’s hard , I suffer with depression from time to time but it’s still better that living with a narcissistic alcoholic bully of a husband who made my life a living hell..
I don’t regret my decision

How are you?

Agree with Flappergirl - I was thinking of you Jenho- hope you are in a safe place.

Jenho how are you? Did you get the help you needed from Women's Aid? I know you posted in November but I am sure we would all like to know you are in a safe place.

Anyway, sending love and strength if you are reading.

One day at a time, don't look back and keep on being the strong, resilient person that you have become.
I did something very similar some time ago, yes it was a struggle, but I survived.........something that I wouldn't have done had I stayed in the coercive, controlling and cruel marriage.

I admire your bravery. Over time you'll see a whole new world !
I'm sure at the moment, a bit overwhelming but you've made the huge first steps.
Many solicitors will give a free half an hour to you regarding divorce settlement. Good luck xx

How are you? A week is a very long time if you feel stressed x

You are doing the right thing you can't put a price on peace of mind take it a day at a time hopefully once you are out of the home and in a refuge you will began to relax and see things more clearly good luck and happiness for your new beginning

You are indeed brave! To leave after a long time must take sooo much courage! But I suppose the situation must be so bad you have no choice.I totally agree safety is paramount.I hope you find the hel p and support you need.Best wishes and lots of hugs!🌷

A very brave thing to do Jenho I wish you well in your new life. I agree with others, check out the financial situation all may not be as it seems or as he would like you think.
Good luck

A bold and brave move, good luck in your new life - you deserve happiness. There will be so many people in similar situations that do not have the courage to take action. I wish you well for or your future. Take all the help and advice that is offered.

I admire your strentgh and bravery in doing the right thing. You may not have financial assets, but you will get peace of mind which is priceless.

The stress you have been under will have made it difficult to relax and make friends. It will be scary the first few times you join clubs etc but the pride and joy for trying will be great.

Please keep posting here and let us know how you're getting on.

Best wishes from me too. You are strong and brave and you will get help from women’s aid. You know you are doing the right thing. Good luck.

Very best wishes for the future. A very bold move. Get legal advice though, because there may be funds you do not know about.

How brave you are..I hope you find much peace and happiness in your new life

It sounds like a sad time in your life but you’re moving forward to a new life of your own. Not much money is restricting but you will have peace of mind. I wish you every happiness in your new life.

I so admire your courage in doing this. Good wishes for your new life. You deserve it.

To be leaving a marriage of 50 years is unusual. has your DH always exercised co-ercive control, or has it only happened in the last few years.

I ask that because if the coercive behaviour is the result of a relatively recent personality change, it could be that he is developing/ has developed dementia, or is on his way there.

This does not in any way qualify your right decision to leave if your husband is now acting in a coercive manner. Your health and safety is at risk - and you need to be safe aand that is paramount. But it is something to factor in when talking to the Women's Refuge and other official bodies you have to deal with, once you are in a safe place.

Your life is tough at the moment but I applaud you for taking this step. It won't change overnight but you will be free to make your own friends in time. Take one day at a time and rely on the people at the refuge.

I wouldn’t call it sad, sad that you had an unhappy marriage yes. But… I’m so pleased you are making the break and not staying in a controlled marriage so I’m wishing you every happiness for the future jenho wishing you peace and luck for 2024 onwards