What do you do

for Dolphin

Dolphin you do not say how old your children are.
Perhaps you could join a mother and baby club and get to know other mothers.
I am assuming you are a stay at home mum with some of your children in school.
Most cities have some sort of clubs sometimes attached to council or church buildings.
Writing in a journal your daily feelings may help if you are feeling low, try to plan and organize your day and think of the positive things in your life.

I don't know what advice to give you but couldn't read without saying something.
You should be proud to have brought up 5 children without help . Well done. Are they grown up now?

You sound as if you need a break and to change your life so you can be happy again.
A change of job. A change of routine. I don't know enough about your situation but there will be something that you can change. You can't be angry with your husband forever.