Should I stay or should I go?

I’m so sorry Dipsy10 this is a truly horrible situation for you. I really feel you should think very, very carefully about your future together …

Dipsy10 - you are still young enough to start again. Somehow you must dig deep and find the courage. In life I truly believe in the mantra " what you are not changing you are choosing". I don't mean to sound harsh but surely you are worth more than this?

Have a look at your finances. If you are going to stay with him make sure you can keep your own money separate from his.
Then at least if you decide to leave him in the future he will not have given it all away to his "soulmate".

I do feel as if I want to go but not sure I have the courage. It’s giving up everything you know and at the age of 63 and with a long marriage. I suppose I’ve stayed because I have felt it was awful for him not to be able to make love physically although we never did have a conversation about what I would do for intimacy. I would have hoped we’d have dealt with the problem together.

I think you know the answer to this one. He is essentially having an affair and has become emotionally close to another woman and him calling her his "soul mate" is so hurtful. I truly feel for you and what you are going through. I struggle to comprehend how you can carry on in the marriage, knowing that he has such strong feelings for someone else. I believe that if you stay you will one day regret that decision. I wish you all the very best.

I don’t think he has shown any respect to you Dipsy10 at the very least calling her his soulmate! I know that I would not stand for anything like this, so he expects you to be ok with this, I’m really surprised you have put up with it . It seems he’s going to carry on with this so called one sided relationship regardless how you his wife feels, I wonder what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot and you called a man your soulmate and buying and sending him things over the years. It doesn’t sound as if he has any intention of stopping and I actually feel for you, I’ve been with my husband who I adore for 40 years and I can tell you now if it was happening to me we would part ways

Hi - yes - in order for them to meet privately online he has to pay money in the form of tokens to the website which then gives her a percentage of the money. I know he has spent a huge amount on being online with her and at a time when we were saving for our retirement.

Has she asked him for money yet, do you know? I would check out your finances.

Your husband is having an emotional affair

It doesn't matter that he cannot engage sexually with this person, he is leaning on this person for all his emotional needs.

You are right to be devastated. Many find emotional affairs damage a relationship more than a sexual fling.

Please get some outside support. A loving husband should never hurt you like this