Do you wish you wish you had said something to your mum/dad before they died

My heart goes out to you.
If you were estranged from your dad when he died that must be so difficult. Do you have children? I do and my feelings for them are all I can give to you. My love for them is unconditional, sometimes they have disappointed me but I go on loving them just the same. I expect your dad always loved you.
Sometimes those who love addicts are told to stop supporting their behaviour. It must be so very difficult to turn away from someone you love for their own sake. I don’t know if this is what your dad did
I think you need to make your peace with your dad, you need to say sorry for the pain you caused him. He cannot TELL you now that he forgives you but I’m pretty sure that he would welcome your apology. The very best thing you can do is to promise him that your life is changed and that you will carry him in your heart as you move forward, positively in your life.
I know he would be so proud of you!
You can still talk to him, I talk to my mum and dad often and I find that helpful.
Wishing you peace. ??

I think most people have regrets that they hadn’t told
their parents some loving truths before their mum and dad died. I’m sure that your dad remembered your childhood much as you do now. Hopefully he knew that you had turned around your life and would have been so proud of you.

If you had so much fun at the time, as you say you did, I'm sure he could see that. My guess is that he loved doing these things with you and your enjoyment gave him much pleasure at the time and he would have remembered that.