Christmas present

Do people really notice trivial items of apparel like watches? I could not tell you whetehr my children wear watches or not, I think DD does and that it may have gold strap, further than that I could not go. As for DS, I haven't a clue. DH has had the same watch for 50 years. We all know he would never wear any other.

Watches never last long with me. After 5 years they turn up their toes and die, so I would never be bothered by an extra watch, even if it was identical to the one I already had.

Yes you’re overreacting. Had she known in advance and stolen your thunder by giving him the same watch before you had the chance I’d have some sympathy for you.
But your SD has bought her dad a lovely present he will like. I genuinely see no issue at all and cannot fathom why you are upset tbh, it seems like a bit of a manufactured drama!

Yes you're overreacting. Nothing good can come from pursuing this line of thought. Let it go.

I know a number of men who have a whole range of watches! It's not a slight on you, just that she knows her Dad likes a particular designer. Just ignore

Of course you could view it as a compliment
If she knows how much he likes his current watch ....

I think men are notoriously difficult to buy for and perhaps there was a seed in the distant depths of your daughters mind which said ‘I bet dad would like a —— watch’. Big relief as that’s him sorted’. I wouldn’t read anything into it or say anything-there’s been enough difficulties for everyone this year without creating more

I agree with Sukie let it go, you are over reacting.

BlueBelle I don't think the OP actually said 2 years ago. I've noticed that "a couple of years ago" can be as many as 5 or 6 these days!

I see why you are not happy about this gift but you cannot know what was in your step daughter's mind and the risk is that you create a 'story' about it, which then leads you to feel hurt. Mental stories can cause us so much pain and so many relationship problems, and it is always worth checking what you actually know to be true and what is your interpretation or creation. The potential pain from this 'story' for you, your husband and his daughter is considerable - not worth going there for your own and others' happiness. Feel the feeling but let the story go - and soon the feeling will be 'digested' and gone too.

Did he seem pleased with it? What does it matter? I'm assuming it's not exactly the same design? If so, he can wear them alternately. My daughter likes watches (and clocks) and has 3 very nice watches that she likes to alternate.

I don't see what all the fuss is about ?

My DH loves watches and has several by his favourite "designer " - the highly appropriate Fossil !!

This is not really about the watch is it? I suspect that there is unfinished business between you and your step-daughter.
It is possible for a person to be deeply loved by more than one other person. Each loving relationship is different and need not detract from the love two people share.
Yes you are over-reacting.

What is upsetting you about this?

Lots of men collect Tag Heur watches!

My mother point blank REFUSED to get into any tiffs and quarrels, miffs and bother with any of the family. It stood her in good stead as she was loved by us all for being so 'diplomatic'. I am trying (very hard) to be the same. It is easy to hold grudges, take offence or be upset by things that really aren't worth bothering with. Enjoy your family and don't look for problems

It does seem a bit odd. When he showed you the watch didn’t he comment how it was the same? Didn’t you? I think when one gets an inkling that all is not transparent it is a worry. Their relationship is important and she is letting you know that and so is he so basically you have to accept it. With as much grace as you can manufacture

I certainly think your overreacting, what difference does it make ? Maybe his daughter knows he likes that particular designer and thought it a safe bet to get one in different design for him . Can have many designs by same designer so it’s nice to have a choice .

What's your problem? My stepdaughter would have no idea what I bought her father any Christmas I'd be pleased she'd got him something lovely

I think perhaps you are overreacting, she probably has never noticed his watch. Obviously your husband won't want to upset her by saying he already has one the same so nor should you. Just say what good taste she's got!

Take it as a compliment that you chose a good gift.

She obviously hardly sees him so probably has no idea about the watch he has. Do not get upset or mention it to her. These things happen.

Sorry but as my DD would say. "Get over yourself" My SIL has lots of watches by the same designer but they are not the same face or strap. I think you are looking for a problem. Your husband opened something that was addressed to you? That would be my problem right there!

According to my DH a man can never have to many watches. Don't get it myself but there you go. If it was shoes or boots on the other hand........... ?

A lot of feelings like this can probably be avoided by assuming the best, rather than worst, motive for the action. Your stepdaughter maybe remembered from years ago that her dad mentioned he would like a nice watch and so she went to some effort to select a nice one - either forgetting or not realising you had bought him something similar. If you just assume that's the case , be grateful she is being thoughtful towards her dad and have a wee smile that you've got similar taste. The fact she addressed the parcel to you to look after till Christmas might even be an indication that she trusts you and didn't intend it as any sort of slight. If other things have happened in the past or crop up in future which clearly indicate she is trying to undermine you in some way, then try to understand whether any insecurity may be behind it and work on developing a closer relationship if possible. Making an issue of the watch is unlikely to make anyone feel better, including yourself. I think we've all had too much time to overthink things during this strange year!