Porn

vampirequeen It's only another form of entertainment.

I think that depends on how extreme/vile it might be.

Much porn nowadays involves vile treatment of women.
If that is what he is enjoying, I'd dump him.

Valerie F is right. Try sharing it. You might find you enjoy it and get some ideas. There's always something new to learn. If you don't enjoy it then don't watch it but don't judge him for wanting to. It's only another form of entertainment.

I think ValerieF has had a good idea.

May I ask something? In general terms, how does he treat you?

If he's generally good, I think that it's worth giving your relationship a chance but, if he's not especially nice anyway, the porn could be the last straw.

Maybe start watching it with him? What is upsetting you the most? He is watching it in secret? It is extreme? or you think all porn is despicable?

My curiosity would make me want to see what he is watching! Maybe you might get some ideas? Maybe you will be repelled enough to leave him but I think most men do get a kick out of soft porn and many women too!

I think you have to decide what your boundaries are and make a decision based on that. It sounds as if it makes you uncomfortable and you are absolutely entitled to feel like that. He is also lying to you

Hello Smedleyswife, you are on the horns of a dilemma. I'm single now but within the last ten years discovered my (previous) partner at the time had become addicted to porn. It was an accidental discovery because he'd forgotten to log out of a vile site which I accessed when I asked to use his laptop. He would not give it up & call me old fashioned but I couldn't live with his addiction. It started to impact in our intimate life too as he started to ask for different things I found challenging or physically difficult & the secrecy really got me down. There was no compromise so I dumped him. I know that some women can overlook this penchant in their partner but I could not. I too look after myself, hair, clothes, figure, makeup etc but there's something in some men's brains that has a need for this stimulus. I get that but I don't want it on my watch! I've no regrets.