Missing a birthday card from my DS for the first time

We don't do presents for adults on birthdays or Christmas but still send cards and I must say we do seem to put some thought into them and appreciate them. I still get a bit tearful thinking on DD's birthday last year, which was 8 days after DH's funeral after his sudden passing, as she asked me not to send a card as she could't cope with just seeing my name on the card. I sent one this year without asking as I knew she would be okay. Everyone is different and a card can mean a lot as does a visit.

I love getting cards but I understand that younger people especially men often don't care that much about them. one of my sons didn't send a card but gave me a big hug, which was much nicer. The other son sent one 5 days late. Your son obviously cares for you so don't be too upset by what to him is
probably a meaningless outdated gesture. He will have no idea how much a card means to you

Personally I think you are over reacting, I’m certain I’ve never had a card or present from my adult son, unless one of his sisters tags his name on.

I don’t know why he’s like he is, but he never acknowledges any of our birthdays, I used to buy him cards to send his sisters, but I’ve given up on that!

I don’t think it’s worth getting upset about.

Young people just don't do cards anymore- unless it is Moonpig on the Internet.

A lot of young people don't do lots of things anymore. They are so preoccupied with themselves! Sorry to sound so negative but I really think many of us would be happier if we would only realise that.

My younger son, although knowing I love getting cards, never sends me a birthday or mother's day card, I'll get the occasional Christmas card though. This Christmas I decided to give him a recycled card, as in one I'd given him a previous year, and when he went home he took it with him, apparently so that I couldn't give it to him again, lol.

I have a wonderful DD - who never forgets my birthday, but I don't always get a card -she always phones and I see her on the day or around the day. No problem if I don't get a card - I would much rather see or speak to her.

Let him know without being over the top. It was probably an oversight. No guilt-tripping. We can't outsource our happiness.

It does seem to us of a certain age that some of the younger generation seem to take a hard line with things that mean so much to us and it is hurtful, I would feel the same as you. Everything is moving too fast and it just makes me feel nostalgic.

It's due to technology. Old paper and pen is going the way of the dinosaurs. People think a text, email or in-person contact is good. I personally HATE junk in my house. I.dont want a card unless there is a well thought out, deeply personal message. Otherwise, keep the paper on the trees and the clutter out of my space. It's going into recycling anyway.

He didn't bring it before your birthday, probably just slid in a crevice somewhere and he has forgotten about it that's all x

I think my son, a very good man in many ways, just would never be bothered. He’s the same with cards he’s given, never even bothers to open them.

In fact, I did choose him a nice card for Christmas, but thought what’s the point of even giving it to him, so it went on the fire today.

I don’t care for myself, but I think he could at least acknowledge his nieces and nephews birthdays, but we just all accept he can be a miserable git at times.

I give cards but don't receive them from my other half. If my mom didn't buy them from my children I wouldn't get one.
I think they are being fazed out by the generations due to the environmental impact rather than lack of thought or feeling toward the recipient.
I'm mindful of who appreciates cards and send them cards for appropriate occasions.
I hope you had a lovely birthday x

For those of you who disagree with my tactics that is fine. I just said that is what I would do. Knowing my son as I do he would come back with ‘sorry mum, lots going on, see you soon’. End of.

Merryweather

It’s a nice thought, but I’m absolutely certain my sons not driven by concerns about the environment, he just can’t be bothered.

I think if you had been told they aren't doing cards after this year,then you wouldn't think you were getting one. Which means the last card you received you could put up as a reminder of the love between you. I did that after my brother and mum passed so I have that bit of them on my day.
Christmas cards too. A hug from me?

Yes, I see why you're upset but, if you have a good relationship with him, I'd not say anything too harsh. You know his temperament. If he is the sort to anger quickly, I'd put things very tactfully.

If he's usually good to you, that is far more important.

My mum loves to receive a card, I know this and always send her one. I also love to receive a card as it shows thought.

Thanks everybody for taking the time to reply. I was being silly.

Joanny NO! you are not silly! You are just like so many of us on here, kind, caring and like to do things that please people. You then struggle with understanding as to why others are not the same that's all.

I very rarely received cards or thoughtful gifts until DILs arrived on the scene. Now I receive gorgeous jewellery, candles etc and often handmade cards from the elder one. I know it’s not my boys even though the dils pretend they didn’t organise it for my two sons.

Whoops posted too early
What I’m getting at is my boys still love me the same as they did before, it’s just that cards/gifts are not something they naturally think of to organise. I understand though. We women put so much work into doing nice things for others, and it’s so lovely to receive it back.

What lovely, thoughtful DiL’s you must have
Dillythe Gardener

That’s lovely dillythe gardener my eldest son has a very considerate wife and I know it’s her that buys my things too. Second son just goes last minute but does turn up every time on my birthday.

It is lovely. But I totally sympathise with why Joanny felt upset. I love keeping all my cards from birthdays and Christmases. I date them all so I can go back and reminisce in later years.
Like many posters here my children (also I think this comes from the Dils who are both eco conscious) have requested not to be gifted gifts at Christmas and birthdays. They still give us presents though as they know it’s still important to us.