Lost some confidence with my son

We are not entitled to respect just for being a parent, we have to earn it. Sounds like it was not what your son said rather the way he said it Alexa I would be taking him to task about that perhaps, its a shame you don't feel able to share your news with him. You need to tell him that's how he made you feel. People don't always realise how they are coming across.

Mossfarr you so remind me of dmil who has gone oh god what an open mind she had and mouth to match. Of course she was perfect and didn't like it returned! Always told my hubbybp he'd put weight on then smiled smugly because she could say anything because she was his mother!!

from the other perspective.....

I often have to tell my Mum off. She has developed an unhealthy obsession with other peoples weight and will come out with the most inappropriate remarks about it - very loudly!

When we meet up with family or friends that we haven't seen for a while she will say things like " wow you've piled it on since I last saw you" or my god, you've gone fat haven't you", she does it every time.

My brother and SIL who are both "very large build" hate family get togethers because she always embarrasses them with the things she says.

When we are going anywhere I now have to warn her not to make comments about peoples weight. After all, nobody needs to be told that they've put weight on do they?

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I feel that he should be pulled next time he speaks to you like this. I have three sons and would not be happy to be spoken to like this. My eldest son has his own company doing very well and sometimes tells me what I should do I'm 59 hold down a nice respectable job with children and wouldn't let him away with any unhappy tone. I always remind him who he is talking to and he soon shuts up!!!

Alexa, I’m sorry your feelings are hurt. That is never fun.

Since you agreed with your son on his point, but not his delivery perhaps let it go this one time.

You didn’t explain what he lectured you about, so it’s hard to offer any insight there. However, you did say it was in regard to “your news” so it does (from the outside) look like he might have crossed a line.

My advice would be to continue with your relationship and tell him your news. If he does it again be firm. You can tell him he is welcome to disagree but he should watch his tone. If he doesn’t you can end the conversation then and there and tell him when he’s ready to communicate with you respectfully you will continue the conversation.

Don’t let him put you down. You and he are peers. You are an adult and no one (not even family) is allowed to speak to you rudely.

Is this new behavior from him?

Tell him your news and don't be afraid of his possible unfriendly tone,who has given him the right to speak to you like this and show such disrespect to his mother,mine would never do this and if they tried they would be out the door short shrift until their manners improved.

One of my sons is very clever and at times I have to remind me not to lecture me. He can be a bit over-bearing at times and critical in conversations if his views differ from mine.

Fortunately, we can agree to disagree. I am probably as bad in that I hold my ground. I think rather than falling out (because we never do) it's just a battle of wills sometimes.

I suspect some may think we argue, but we don't.

I know how you feel Alexa. It's the stern tone. I feel the same way if I am on the end of disparaging remarks, and I know my friends with AC often say they get lectures because all of a sudden their children 'know best'.

Even though you feel hurt I would carry on as usual as you don't want this one episode to ruin your relationship.

Arrogance isn't nice at the best of times but when it's your own son it's even worse. My brother was like towards mum and when I witnessed it I came down on him like a ton of bricks and asked him who would be next in line when mum was no longer around. It's tantamount to bullying, horrible.

Sounds a bit of a bully to me what gives him the right to speak to his mother in that manner and compare you to a child. Tell him your news and if it seems another lecture is forthcoming tell him not to speak to you like that and walk away till he cools down.
My son wouldn’t dream of lecturing me and if he attempted to I’d tell him him where to go I’m afraid.

My husband does this with his mother,To be fair she comes out with some horrible racist remarks,thanks to her friendship with a man none of us like .She was never racist before he came along and my OH finds it really rattles him snd he tells her off.
I dont like it .I wouldn't say anything except maybe give her some FACTS which are usually sadly lacking in her comments .I'm sorry you feel you cant tell him your news ,thats clearly unacceptable ,but maybe just editing out things he may find difficult/offensive would solve the problem.Good luck with him,hope it gets sorted for you .