Has anyone's estranged adult child come back to them?

Yes. After two years of semi-estrangement my daughter is back in my life and although it will take time I am hopeful that we can rebuild the relationship. There is always hope and the emotional landscape changes as time goes on.

I don't think it happens very often. Maybe if the estrangement happened because of one big thing , perhaps that one thing could be rectified . But in many cases ( my own family comes to mind) it just goes on and on, and people adjust to the "new normal". Nothing happens to force a change so life goes on in a different way.

In my family, it was my two sisters who were estranged. After about 20 years of this, one sister ( the one who hadn't instigated the estrangement ) made a big effort, turned up at our mother's place when the other sister was there and made a sort of planned speech about how painful the estrangement was , how much it had hurt our parents and how she wanted to become friends again. My other sister wanted none of it and said that she had no intention of "making up". Even my mother chimed in and said it was all too late and she couldn't see the point of "rehearsed speeches" on the matter. We all went back to what passed for normal, and life went on. About 10 years later the sister who'd made the speech, died and even at that point my other sister never spoke to her.

So no, estrangement doesn't always end in reconciliation. Not in my experience anyway, OP.

Oh sorry.. Purpletinofpaint are you the estranger? I haven't kept up with your other posts so my comments are general and I hope I'm not overgeneralising. Are you in a push pull situation? Do you want to make contact with your mother but want some advice on that? Please explain a little..

Notanan is making a lot of sense, Purple. Please listen to her.

Purpletintofpaint is posing the same question with less detail an attempt to avoid hearing answers you dont want to hear?

You have had a LOT of advice about your specific situation on your longer thread.

By being vague you may get answers that dont apply to you.

Yes, some people get back a relationship that was previously good but became fraught

No, you cant have that. Because you never had it to start

The only relationship your mother can offer you is the kind of relationships she is capable of. I.e. not what you crave from her

Purpletinofpaint.. I think you'll find there are very few instances of estrangement being reversed. I've only read one or two examples on here. It seems that once estrangement happens, the rot sets in and the estranger writes you out of their life. In the one hand, you hope for reconciliation but on the other, you want them to be happy doing what they feel comfortable doing even if it means it doesn't include you. If you love them, you need to let them go.

I can always tell Mumsnet users. We have a language all of our own. ?

I think she means that the estrangement thread gets less traffic- people viewing- than the main threads like relationships .

I m confused too kittylester what does posting for traffic mean purple they seem strange words
I guess everyone with a reunited story will be different
If I was ever in that position and had the chance to be together again I d grab it with two hands but as I said every case will be very different

What is 'posting for traffic'?

No it's not research, I'm in this position myself as you'll see from my other threads.

Your question is very broad are you looking for advise or doing this for research?