Unwanted, I might be jumping to conclusions so I apologise if I offend but quickly reading your post one thing stood out to me. Regardless of the facts you related you really struck a chord with my own experiences. You sound very down and sad, dare I say depressed.
When everything around you seems to feel against you and you cannot see any joy in the world then regardless of the loss of contact of your daughter (which must be so painful, almost grief at a loss in your life) I think you might need some professional help or support. When you spoke of going to bed because you could not cope...that was so familiar to me and its something I've done.
Nowadays many Drs surgeries are geared up to cope with depression and anxiety in all its shades and variations and a chat with your Doctor may open the doors to some gentle support. Feeling in a rut and just not seeing any reason to carry on with a marriage is desperately sad and to be honest not uncommon.
Not being able to talk to those closest to us is also part of the problem, I found I was quite unable to explain how I felt to my husband but once I had talked to a support service it gave me the chance to open up to him. He, bless him, had not really understood what I was going through but now understand me better. I do hope I've not upset you but your post took me back to quite a dark place. I do hope things improve for you.
Trump tears peace hopes into pieces.

