Help coping with emotions re elderly parents

Nothing new there....I looked after my Mother with help of one sister 400 miles away every eight weeks...sister one hour away was there once in 22 months and sister in same village wouldn’t even sleep over to let me see hubby...but the rub was the sister in the village emptied her bank account before I got wise to it.....now....I could have let that bother me and fester or I could throw it away...I chose latter

I was thinking the same loopy many elderly people become obsessed with not being a burden, as they see it. Maybe they had little money when they were young, or didn't realise quite what dire straits you were in at times. Its often said on GN thats its their money to do as they wish with and I wouldn't let it come between you at this late date.

It’s hard not to feel resentful, but getting through those hard times has probably made you a stronger, more resilient and probably resourceful person. Take care.

their money their choice,remember they were of the generation that thought "you made your bed so lie in it"I would never have expected my parents to bail us out ...even in the early days of our business when we literally lived on toasted cheese for over 2 years ...and a bit of bacon when we'd had a good week.We never told anyone how tough life was,because it was our choice to go it on our own.I hear a lot about entitled young people nowadays ,maybe its not a new phenomenon its just that we hear more about it now .
Forget what they "didn't give you" and be happy you still have them around,surely thats worth far more .

Perhaps they were being careful so they did not become a difficulty to you, money wise.

Indeed.

Good post, ann

You need to get over it for your sake, don't let it make you bitter.
You will be the sufferer not them, they will not bother at all.
Just do what you need to so you will never worry that you didn't do enough, I have been there myself, not with money, my mum had none, but with attention and jealousy on her part.
Smile through the visit and I hope you inherit eventually..

(((Hugs))), oldbatty.

You will find lots of people on gn have/had fraught relationships with their parents for all sorts of reasons.

My mum told each of us different tales about the others and my brothers and I didn't speak for 6 years. Ironically, mum being ill brought us back together.

When she had dementia I found it therapeutic to moan to my brothers and on here.

I think by this stage it's not a good idea to bring things up even though there are triggers every time you meet. But, do you have brothers and sisters or a husband or children to off load on.

Gransnet is brilliant at listening!