Its more real now

APPLEGRAN.......-Thank you so much for the information regarding AGE UK LifeBook xx
I'm going to get a couple for my
Hubby & Myself.
It certainly seems to be a very good idea.
BTW.....APPLEGRAN...what a Lovely Name you have.

Stella1949. How you echoed my own fears about dying. Although it's inevitable I do dread leaving my daughters their husbands whom I'm very fond of and my 4 adorable grandchildren. Also quite recent my partner who has been in my life for the last 7 years.
There was only just the 4 of us, my daughter's and me. And we were and still are very close. I dread the day when a goodbye is permanent and I so hope that their memories of me are good and that they will know that whatever mistakes I may have made that they will know how much I have and always will love them and now all the boys and the little ones whom I adore. However, it is inevitable. It will happen. I just hope to make my going as easy as possible for them all whenever that time is.

Thanks Applegran

Thanks so much applegran for raising this topic we where discussing this very subject a few days ago,I have ordered the Age UK booklet to help make life easy for our family when ever they need it

Happy Birthday Maggiemay

My beloved Nanna, whom I am named after, and share a birthday with (which is today 9th may btw!) died sadly when I was 6.
She was everything to me. I only saw her once or twice a week, and while she ruled the roost with an iron fist, I was her special girl. All I wanted to share was, the last time I saw her and heard her voice I was 6 years old, she had babysat me while my parents went out, and I told her I loved her and pinched her wrinkled skin on her hands, I remember her laughing and pinching my cheek, and the next thing being told she had died in her sleep.
But my point is, that was over 57 years ago, and I still remember everything about her, so strong was my love for her. If just one of my grandchildren loves me half as much as I loved my own beloved Ninna, then I shall know I have done right in my life. x

As agnurse has said it is essential to have passwords accessible and I would add not just post-mortem! I needed to gain access to DH's computer whilst he is hospitalized and everything is password protected. I never realised what a control and security freak he is with so many different passwords and even 'whited out' writing in some of the files, I am almost bald with tearing my hair out!

Thank you Applegran the booklet will be very helpful especially as I live abroad. When the time comes it will be more difficult for my DC to sort things out than if we were in the UK. My DC don't seem to accept that I am getting older but I know I have slowed up since I last saw them last summer. I have been told by my youngest DS this morning that I should stop taking long flights as the latest one has really taken it out of me. As I was 46 when he was born I think he is more aware of my age and mortality than those who are only 20 plus years younger than me.

Thank you - I’ve ordered a copy today to help me - I am sure it will help enormously - I’ve been floundering around up to date!

Thank you Applegran - have ordered it online. After discussion with our children we have paid for our funeral and left details of music, etc., have made a will and this, hopefully, will tie up all the loose ends.

Thanks Applegran and others for your good ideas. I “weed” my set of admin folders every year but making a list prioritising things to be done is an excellent idea.

Thanks Applegran, I have also just ordered a copy. Your timing is perfect as I really must get things sorted. Solicitor for will tomorrow. The things we have to do. ?

Have tried to order the Life Book. I have just filled in the form to receive the Life Book, which included filling in my postal address.

I left unticked the box which cancels contact by post.

When I click Submit, I read this

“As you have requested brochures, you must specify how you would like them delivered.”

Surely filling in the address and leaving the Postal box unticked is all I need do? I can see no further boxes to tick.

Age UK must be inundated by requests for their booklet . Let's hope they acknowledge you Applegran!

Thanks Applegran, like a lot of others on here, I too have just ordered a copy. AgeUK will be inundated with requests!

I've ordered a copy too. Such a good idea. Thank you for the info.

Thank you for this information Applegran. I too have ordered the booklet and I imagine that Age UK will wonder what prompted the deluge of requests!

I have put a copy of my passwords in with my will. Both execs have a sealed copy to be opened at the appropriate time.

Thanks, Applegran. I've got my will and funeral arrangements worked out, but I'm expecting to outlast DH, so it will be in DS' capable hands. Have long considered the Life Book and finally got round to ordering.

How did you manage when your parents died?
I know I had to pull through for the sake of my children and my siblings. We managed very well and I hope my d and gd do. It will be a burden for my d as she is now the only child and everything has been left to her with some proviso for gd.

I have written down as much as I can think of in a book and told my husband and sons where it is kept. It includes financial information, where our wills are kept and suggestions for our cremation. I have also started decluttering and written down a list of who my jewellery, such as it is, should go to. One thing I have learnt from the recent death of my husband’s aunt is to write who is who on the back of old photos. We have been given a beautiful old group photo of my husband’s grandmother’s wedding and we have no idea who half the people are. Nobody else in the family knows either.

Death is something I think of a lot recently as two of my childhood friends have passed away in the last seven years. There is only me left and I was the oldest of the three of us. I don’t fear death but I do fear losing mobility or getting dementia. I wish there was a way we could choose to depart with medical assistance should we choose to. A relative in Canada has just been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and he is very thankful that he can opt for Medical Assistance In Death when his life gets unbearable.

Thanks for the nudge Applegran. I've also just ordered the book. I got as far as organising my POAs a couple of years ago but that was as far as I got.

Thanks for raising this applegran. We unfortunately had an accidental death in the family on Saturday and it has prompted me to realise that, even at 59, I should be more prepared and could save a lot of pain for my DS if I did something like this. I have ordered it too.

I’ve had some close call health scares and it made me think.
I found that planning and paying for my own funeral gives me great peace of mind, knowing all the details are taken care of. How, where, who the service will be taken by and what music and poems are chosen and who I’d like to speak ( knowing they can do it without too much stress). Having had to arrange 6 funerals for friends and family, it was much easier to manage when everything was planned. I’m not planning on going anywhere for the next 30 years, but it’s one less worry. Ialso have very detailed instructions for my executor so that should be easier to manage. Don’t be scared of doing it all. You’ll feel better for it.

thanks! Good advice. Will get the booklet you recommended. I am the world's worst (or best?) at procrastination - so maybe that will concentrate my mind a bit.