Too many photos??

This is a modern day tradegy, broken relationships should not result in broken childhoods, sadly one day your beautiful grandson will grow up and realise his father was an absolute brut who wanted nothing to do with him, it'll cause such damage for GS to be in contact with a man who wants nothing to do with him, your D needs to seek professional help to deal with her exs denial of his child before the damage is irreversible, or cut off all contact with this man. You are right to be upset, alarm bells are ringing here.

icbn They aren't his memories though. The only memory he will remember from that photo is of an unwanted contact. No one knows if he is taking photos himself. He may just not be interested in photos. Many people aren't.

I agree with Norah. She is sending a photo of their son but she is also making contact and he doesn't want any further contact with his ex-wife.
He may misunderstand her motives and think that he is using their son and rubbing in the fact that he is not there to see those things.
Why is she so insistent on ignoring his wishes? He sees his son weekly even if he is a bit childish about not keeping him for the whole day. He can take his own photos if he wants them and have his own memories of his son, not those through his ex.
You obviously see things from your daughter's point of view but you are assuming that you know his motives but have not considered what your daughter's may be as you understandably think the best of her.

Marydoll, advise your husband to upload the photos to somewhere like Lifecake or OneDrive albums, then he can delete all but a few from his phone to free up space and they will be safer from accidental loss too.

I just feel the whole situation very sad.
How an innocent photo of a little boy can cause so much upset.
I could never be parted from my photos & my lifetime of memories, I guess not everyone has the same mindset. As per a few comments I've had "his loss"
Thanks everyone, for all of your opinions....

It is pitiful for your GS, no doubt. Does he keep up payments?

I do understand icbn2802 and I feel for you and your daughter.I was just trying to see the whole picture and wonder if a guilty conscience on his part had anything to do with it.

I just posted something on the Divorce Settlement thread about a father who walked away when the baby was one - 'don't look over your shoulder' was his motto I think.

It was his choice greenfinch. He walked away when gs was 15 months. I've always had a lot of respect for him, often defended him when daughter was having a rant but I'm afraid now I can only see that his priorities lie elsewhere. He's proving it time & time again. Is unreliable, time keeping is appalling, disorganised & so forgetful. I'm, too, waiting for my daughter to meet someone new-who accepts her for who she is & will take on board her situation. Happily & readily.

Perhaps he finds it upsetting to receive photos of the son who is no longer part of his family.

vq's advice is good, keep a record of the text and make sure he is aware of the access arrangements as she suggested.

That way he can't start making a fuss about not seeing his child, not receiving updates on his progress etc.

I hope that one day your DD finds a lovely new partner who may be a good step-father to your little DGS and show him what real fathers are like.

Shame on the father for behaving in this way, what an absolute disgrace he is
Your poor daughter, I really feel for her.
As someone else has said 'it is his loss'

D would be delighted if her boys father sent her photos of them.

OP's GC's father is a "Father" in title only poor child.

icbn2802 "What harm is there in sending a photo of a child to his own father? And what sort of father would make an issue of it in the first place?"

The harm is to the overall relationship. He asked her to quit, she should quit.

She's not pursuing her ex. Just sending photos that she feels proud of & wants to share with his father-special moments, occasions. Isn't there enough doom & gloom in this world? What harm is there in sending a photo of a child to his own father? And what sort of father would make an issue of it in the first place?
Sorry I just can't understand and regretfully fear that this situation is not going to improve & his father will just continue to distance himself further.

No, you're being a mum. But she should quit pursuing (or seeming to pursue). He's moved on in another romance.

If he has asked her not to send photos then she shouldn't. He will lose out in the long run, once her lad is old enough to realise his dad is not really bothered about him it will be too late for a good relationship between them. Tell her to enjoy her time with her little boy and not to worry about the ex and his bad behaviour.

My ex would arrange to have my eldest (he moved away after we split) and then not turn up or phone to alter days etc. When my son's first marriage split up his father started the "don't lose touch with the children.." speech. My son just turned to him and said "don't worry, I won't do to my kids what you did to me". Well done my lad!
After the first couple of times he did it I never told my son about any supposed visits until I was certain he would be picked up. Luckily ex in laws were much more reliable and he spent a lot of time with them.

Your daughter and grandson must be so hurt by this behaviour, without being sexist at all, it does seem that men can compartmentalise families much more than women, not all of course.
I'm sure the rest of your family will make up for his deficiencies as a parent.

I would be upset too. Some fathers do everything they can to keep in touch with their children. Others, like this one, don't give a damn.

Your daughter needs to keep a record of when he collects their son, does he turn up, what's his excuse if he doesn't, is he on time, does he bring the little boy back early and why, etc. She may need this in the future in any access disputes especially if it becomes necessary to rearrange or stop access.

He basically said that he just didn't want her sending anymore photos, unless it was concerning their sons 'health & safety'.
As for seeing him regularly, he has a set 'one day a week' but even then has been known to bring their son back to mummy early as he was tired (that's the dad not the son!!)
It is just so hurtful to hear this. I guess some people just struggle with getting their priorities in order. Apparently he's going away with the girlfriend for Valentines Day, the same day that he would next be due to spend a few hours with his son, it's a shame that once again my grandson won't be his top priority.
Please excuse the sarcasm in my tone, it's just what I do when upset....which I am, greatly.

His loss. Tell your daughter to keep a record of the text so in the future she can prove that she was told not to send them.

Does the father have access? If not, she needs to write a simple letter offering him access and send a copy of it by registered post every six months. That way he can never say she stopped him seeing his chid. She will have the evidence to prove otherwise as registered letters have to be signed for and she can print off a copy of the signature from the GPO tracking website.

icbn that was certainly a hurtful text!

All I can suggest is that a lot of men ike to compartmentalise their lives, so his son will be in one compartment that he can access when he chooses. A photo arriving without warning may annoy him because it's 'out of place'.

I hope he sees his son regularly. If so, perhaps your daughter could mention that she'd like to send him photos and they could agree on the best time. Men can be very odd!

How hurtful for you all. You are certainly not being melodramatic. What a horrible way to behave. Your daughter and grandson are so fortunate to have a loving mum and gran. He doesn't deserve to be called your grandson's father.
My husband's phone has just packed up because he has so many photos and videos of our granddaughter on it. I love looking back at photos of my children and remembering happy times.