Widowhood.

Marmite - I had to sell my big old Victorian House when my DH passed away.
It wasn't easy and I couldn't have managed it without my middle son, who helped me a lot (although he was often impatient and nasty.) You could make a start by beginning to sort out books, ornaments etc., I put a lot of stuff on my garden wall and it all went within a day.

I now live in a nice flat with central heating etc., and the upkeep is minimal.
I don't have a garden and sometimes miss that and because I'm 68 I think the flat is a bit old for me as yet, but it is secure, warm and economical and I will appreciate it more as the years go by. It's a gated community so I do feel safe.

Sewsilver - how's your finger?

Nannie - I've decided to go for the Tablet on Amazon. There's lots of reviews and a 67 year old woman said she set hers up quite easily. If I can't do it one of my sons will help me because they can't resist technology.

for all of us who do struggle without our "blokes."

Streets???
'Strewth!

'Streets!!!
You'll all catch your death of colds.....If you can't resist/ desist from scaring the natives and fending off amorous postmen (I sincerely hope they're of a more attractive variety up there?) I assume long fleecy numbers will be worn, as N Wales can be very chilly

reading the later posts...I think there are going to be some very happy "Postmen" around do you think my "Baby doll" will be warm enough for "Llandudno"! I'm just worried if we are walking along the pier and a gust blows have as good a day as you can everyone.

I am sure the postman would be delighted Galen

Will my Ivory satin (M&S) negligée suffice?
Sorry I keep my house so warm, I don't need anything else.('and it matches my pearls)

I've been reading all your posts from a distance and it's good to hear that we all have the same feelings. Sometimes I find just talking about 'it' sets me off again which is why I've kept quiet for a bit. I am due to return home next week after a 2 month stay with DD2 in a house full of noise, shouting & laughter and am, to be honest, absolutely dreading it. This time, I have felt J's absence more than ever and lie in bed feeling very sorry for myself, which is quite pathetic I know. I have to make the big decision on whether to sell the big family home and downsize, and if so, to where ... I know I have written about this before, but it is a subject which takes over my whole existence and I feel I am wasting time - or what is left of it!
On the subject of iPads, go for it. I've had mine for a couple of years and wouldn't be without it. As for dressing gowns; I bought a fleecy top with matching trousers (a snip from Asda!) . Great for cosying up in after a bath and watching the telly, smart enough for answering the door to the postman , great for keeping warm in bed while reading and easy to slob around in in the mornings while having breakfast.

Widowhood is bad enough without the added stress of family problems. Wish I could give you a real hug instead of a virtual one. (((hug)))

Dressing gown colour? You choose. Variety is the spice of life. Just don't have a pin as you might clash with falconbirds cardi.

Okay nannieroz, I'll start practising the winking immediately and buy a dressing gown in the near future. Is any particular colour or type of dressing gown required? DH died 17 months ago so it is taking a very long time to sort all of this probate business out. It's been hanging over me for a while but it felt very sad today to be talking about his wishes.
In some ways it still feels such a short time ago that he was with me and in other ways it feels like a lifetime. Major family problems mean that I am really missing his support at the moment and feeling rather sorry for myself.
Time to shake my tail feathers and pull myself together I think.

Nah nah sewsilver you are not exempt...... you have to wear a dressing gown and do the winking thing too

Do you mind if I ask how long you have been waiting for probate? It seems to take such a long time.

When we ought an iPad from the Apple store they showed me how to set it up - gave a lesson and also gave us iCloud storage which all other places were charging about£50 or.

I would get an iPad, if you buy it from John Lewis they take a lot of time to set it up for you and show you how to use it. I am addicted to my iPad.
On a very bleak day when I have spent most of it at the solicitors trying to sort out probate papers for DH's will you have all made me laugh. I'm now going to be on the lookout for women winking and wearing dressing gowns. Do we think Llandudno is ready for us yet?

Falcon a cardy will do fine, but it must be fastened up with a safety pin to make it look authentic oh and some of the buttons missing! that combined with the winking, nodding and whispering should be enough to have us all locked up in a nice police cell over night with free bed & breakfast ! so if we could manage it for a couple of nights it wont cost us much for our overnights stay in Llandudno

nannie when my friend and I used went out on bikes, we used to visit various places, we would get out little camera out and make a little video of us both! we have done about 5/6 now little short ones, the last one we did was at a place called "Winfields" in Haslingdon, they used to advertise on tv a great big shoe place, but now it a bit like a shopping village, so my friend and I took our camera and started filming in the store (don't know if we were allowed to)! lol they have all camping equipment and tents, so of course we had to try them out, so one of us would lie down in the tent and the other film, also there was little picnic table and seats with plates/glasses etc so we sat down and pretended we were dining and we have a running commentary going, (it's a wonder they didn't ask us to leave, I showed them to my DDs they said we should put them on youtube lol..

Thank you annsixty
I have a busy day tomorrow, hairdressers (which I hate having my hair cut) then busy at DDs house, sanding and filling, more sanding and filling, chat soon everyone, wink, wink or should that have been a nod!

Me too, I'm constantly amazed at the strength and courage they show, especially, as you say annsixty we have little idea of how it must be.
I'm humbled reading these posts.

You are all very welcome,you are so brave. Those of us who haven't experienced it have no idea I am sure.

Thank you annsixty. I never cease to be amazed at the truly exceptional GN's who take the time to wish us widows well.

If you can, I recommend you get an IPad. They do just about everything and although I am quite useless tech wise I managed to set it up myself except for putting Sky Go on which my GD did. Just watching TV on it is a bonus and you don't need to pay for Sky in other rooms which costs about £10 a month.and it takes superb photographs. Now I need to say how much I admire you all for coping as well as you all do. for you all.

Have you had a look at Amazon? They have an amazing selection of Tablets including an updated version of the one I have..... It's currently on offer around £79

Thanks Nannieroz - I don't like dressing gowns for some reason, but I suppose I should get one in case I have to go into hospital - or hozzie as we call it round here, although hospitals are so hot these days I don't think I would need one. I was thinking about 100 for the Tablet.

On the Tablet question, might I suggest if you are looking to buy one, please buy the best you can afford as I bought a cheapie (mainly because at the time I knew nothing about tablets). Had I known that I would use it as much as I do, I would have opted for a speedier version. Having said all that, this tablet has been well worth the money and been a great introduction to portable PC's.

Oh! falconbird we need to find you a dressing gown especially if we are to wander around a Llandudno hotel winking at unsuspecting guests

Sorry I mean a Tablet !!!

Thanks Galen. Do you know where the shop is in Cabot and can you buy a Table there. Is it PC World?

Biker and Nannie - I can just see us in some time in the future, in an hotel somewhere between where we live and Llandudno, going up to different ladies of mature years and saying "Llandudno and nodding and winking

I don't own a dressing gown but go about with a cardi on for quite a long time in the morning - just doddling about.

Falcon if you buy it from Apple either at cribs or in Cabot, they'll set it up for you!

That was to * Bikergrans* post earlier