Denied Contact with Grandchildren - August 2012 onwards....

Just to clear-up any confusion, I went on a spa w/e with my sister-in-law!(previous)

I am wondering what's happened to Suebeck and Mamaria?

I had another bad night last night, woke at 5, up at 6am, just really missing my daughter and my grandchildren Court date getting nearer, I'm wondering if they will turn up and if they do, what lies I'll be hearing about myself

I can't send a txt to my daughter, as you have done Suebeck, as she has changed her no. and I can't send an e-mail or I'll get an Harassment order.
I haven't actually received an Harassment order, just a threat of one, which is bad enough!

Keep strong yoga girl we actually received harassment warning and I was arrested for leaving present on step!

Still my oh refuses to apply for court order.

As he is 10 years older I do worry it may be too much upset.

Hope you sleep better tonight yoga girl!

Hello Celebgran and thank you.
Oh dear how terrible for you! and unbelievable!
It is all a terrible strain and I have heard that a lot of grandparents in this situation have had a heart attack or a stroke!

I've just finished updating my 'opening statement' for the courts, I always feel better when I have been writing or talking about this horrid situation, and when I tell myself not to think,speak or write about it and have a day-off from it all(actually not possible), I actually feel worse and that seems to be when I can't sleep, so I feel I need to get it out of my brain in some way and then I've a chance of thinking about something more pleasant.

I've added on my 'O.S' that;
"I've been made to feel its a crime to love them, but it's not a crime, and no amount of cruelty done to me, will stop me loving them"

I have just "lost" what I have just written. Celebgran and whenim64 this is to keep you both updated. Things were going well up until last Thursday when I was speaking with my beautiful daughter. I happened to say that I missed them all, and in particular my granddaughters. Her response has shaken me to the very core of my being and I feel dreadful. She said that the girls did not want to see me now. As you both know my sil assaulted me, called the Police to me, threatened me in my face, tried to convince my Doctor that I am a psychiatric case, which is rubbish as i have a wonderful career that has taken me all over the world. See my initial postings on here for more on this distressing situation. For the others it is over 4 years since I saw my granddaughters who are now 13 and 10. Anyhow after her cruel words Im afraid that I flipped because I was so terribly hurt. I had practically brought the girls up, who loved me dearly and I would see them everyday. This was stopped by sil abruptly and goodness knows how they have been affected. At the time the youngest who was then 6 was screaming for me not to leave their house, saying that she would never see me again. She also called to me over the school perimeter wall saying that she loved me very much but was not allowed to speak to me. It has been horrendous and I felt that I was making progress. The reason I am writing this is;;; I feel so bad about being cross with her on Thursday, something that I have never done before, but I was so devastated by it and said that I couldnt cope with being treated like a bad person when all I had ever done was to be kind and loving towards them all. I feel guilty at shouting, I dont have a temper but have been so provoked by this, constant belittling, and put downs that I couldnt take it. Please help me at this difficult time.. Im so scared that I have undone (all the good) by being angry. Hugs suebeck.

It's my Big Day tomorrow. I'm off to scatter Mystery (dog) ashes under her tree in the local park, and I'm being accompanied by my three daughters - Mystery was the equivalent of Nana from Peter Pan to them. It's our first meeting since September last year, which didn't end favourably. (I haven't seen one of my grandchildren yet, and they will not be coming tomorrow). I
Feel so nervous. I hope they turn up and that they will be prepared to finally draw a line under all the nastiness of the last 14 months

Good luck Goose . Our dog, Jake, a long- haired german shepherd was also known as Nana because he would park himself full-length by the sofa if any of the children were lying there feeling off-colour, and he was first to the bathroom to help with bathtime.

I hope everything goes smoothly family-wise. You have enough to contend with - let it be a kind day for you x

Suebeck I've just read your post. Don't despair. My son and I were told my grandson didn't want to see us several times a year or so ago - it was utter rubbish, probably said because we had been fed lies and ex-DIL realised she would be rumbled - not that we would have quizzed him, but she doesn't think in those terms. I hope things can be repaired soon - everybody is allowed a bit of a wobble when they receive upsetting news

Goose have pm`ed you!!

Suebeck have emailed you please dont despair Whenim is absolutely right try not to get too down.

I am sure your daughter must realise how devastaed you would be to hear that!
and big hugs will pm you also.

Yogagirl you are much in my thoughts as you prepare for the family court tomorrow.I hope that you have a good night's sleep and that things go well for you.I will be sending you love and positive thoughts.

April 25th is 'Parental Alienation Awareness Day' so many people around the world will also be on your side.

All is not sweetness and light. Two out of three daughters want to tentatively start meeting up with me again but my eldest daughter, although she came for Mystery to be scattered, was very distant towards me the whole time and her parting words were that it was 'too early to think about her meeting up with me again to talk'. The other two said they'd contact me asap by email , which they haven't done and I fear they've been influenced by their older sister. I feel like I'm back to square one again. So near, yet so far away

((hugs)) suebeck and all the other cruelly deprived mums/grans/nans on this thread. For me one of the biggest helps is knowing that I'm not the Big Bad Person I'm portrayed to be by my own children. Knowing there are others similarly suffering this heartbreaking behaviour towards us is a selfish comfort that I wouldn't wish on anyone

That is sad Goose , especially after loosing darling mystery .

Hello everyone
Thank you so much for your kind words Manicfancy that about the 25th being 'P.A.A.D' I'll take that as a good omen!

I was getting really worried yesterday as to whether I was doing the right thing, until a couple of my friends assured me that I was, and unbelievable, one of them had had the same thing done to her by her d.i.l, lasting 6mnths, I hadn't told her at the beginning of all this, so was amazed when she told me her story.

Dear Suebeck I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened, but you can't blame yourself for being angry, you have been through such a lot! Its not a normal situation, so things don't work out as they would normally. Unfortunately we will all have to tread on egg shells for a long time after a reconciliation, if we are lucky enough to get one in the first place, so don't be down, its not the end, I would have thought your daughter would understand how you were feeling.

So sorry to hear about your dear dog Goose. Sounds quite promising though, as your daughters did all turn up, so hopefully the beginnings of things to come.

Well, tomorrows my big day, I'm hoping they will turn up, as I've written my opening and closing statements especially to pull at my daughter's heart strings really, but more so to convince the Judge that I should be in my grandchildren's lives.

Pray for me

Yoga girl b thinking of you such brave lady how I wish it was me!

Anxious to hear how it goes ill pray for you.

I caved in and wrote t my daughter again been 6 months since wrote though sen her birthday card she ill have got it tidy.

Goose so sorry your eldest difficult but s start and chink of light that they all came.

Do hope the other 2 email you but be patient and keep strong.

A message for all Grans and parents suffering from separation
karenwoodall.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/parental-alienation-awareness-day-make-this-a-happy-day/

Great message Maniac. I and my son only had to endure separation fom my grandson for a few interrupted months, but that experience took the floor from underneath me and I will never forget those awful yearning feelings of distress and loss. It took a long time to recover, and affected us badly. My heart goes out to anyone who is unable to get contact with their grandchildren through no fault of their own.

Re; Court Case

No, I'm not sitting on the floor playing with my grandchildren today, which was my dream!
They didn't show up for the hearing, so although I did see and speak with the Judge, she said we couldn't go ahead without the parents present.
A new date will be set and a bailiff will serve the petition to my daughter and s.i.l, if they don't show for the next hearing, I was told by the judge, that they could face prison! so at that point I would have to back down, as I couldn't let it get that far.
Sorry everyone, I was thinking I would be bringing you news of hope for you all. My other daughter, who came with me, kept telling me not to be too optimistic, but I thought even if they didn't turn up the case would go ahead and I'd get an answer one way or the other and having worked for about 4months on my statements of why I am important in my grandchildren's lives, I really thought I had a good chance of success.
I'm feeling very sad today now, I thought it was going to be all over and I could start to get my life back a bit more. I worked yesterday evening, which was very hard after the court case, I had a lump in my throat and found it hard not cry at times.
Its my little Laila's 3rd Birthday in 2weeks, and little Jack's 2nd Birthday the week after that. Even though I knew I wouldn't be there for the day, I thought I would be seeing them during the week of their Birthdays, so could have a little cake and give them their presents and cards, but that wont be happening now
So what do I do, get their presents and cards and pile them up on top of their Xmas gifts? I wanted to get Laila a lovely dolly.

Yogagirl

Oh yoga girl that is so sad but keep strong you got this far! We found box stuff in loft cards etc from and to my daughter so very unbelievable what has happened.

Better luck with next date and lots hugs and well done for getting this far x x

Hello Celebgran

Yes, so sad! I've been feeling very sad this last couple of days and its become more intense, as before Thursday I had the court to focus on, and now that's gone.
It makes it all the more painful when my son and my previous f.i.l seem to believe my s.i.l lies,(I don't even know what they are) I've never fallen out with my son before this and my previous f.i.l I've been friendly with for 36yrs, we had Xmas dinner together this year, as we quite often do, we always go to each others special functions along with the rest of my previous in-laws, even though I've been divorced from his son for the last 20yrs! They even all came to my second wedding!(I'm divorced again, and don't see anyone from that marriage)
Has anyone else got this problem? There's been just silence from my f.i.l, when normally we speak on the phone/e-mail regularly, I e-mailed him on Weds saying the court case is tomorrow, but no reply to-date, which is not normal and same with my son, so my s.i.l must have told them some lies for me to get this reaction.

Just got a phone call from my sister saying she has been invited to my gd Laila's birthday party, which just makes me feel really sad, as I'm sure its just to do exactly that; 'make me sad'

Thank you Faye

I was just thinking about the bit about the jail; if he (s.i.l) was put in jail for a few weeks, the 'fog' could lift from my daughters brain and I may be able to talk some sense into her and get her and my gc back, on the other hand if the fog didn't lift, it would be the 'nail in the coffin'.
Please let me know your thoughts on this everyone.

Yoga girl I don't think he would get jailed doubt old come to that.

So hard for you there re no easy answers just like us. Stay strong they will no doubt get summons to attend court which they will have to do.

I hope and pray one day both our daughters see sense.

Lots hugs

Thank you Celebgran
My mouth dropped open when the Judge mentioned jail,I must say, but perhaps she was looking ahead, I don't know. I just can't shake this sadness now and can't concentrate on anything else, but I must, for my work.
God, when is this going to end!

Thank you maniac I've pm back

Hello everyone, any heart-warming stories to tell??
I wonder how daughters, years down the line feel, about shutting out their mothers for no reason and if they really regret what they've done.

My little Laila had her 3rd Birthday last Wednesday, I sent a card, which no-doubt went in the bin, but I'm hoping my daughter opened it first and read what I'd put, as it was to pull on her heart strings, about Laila's birth being one of the most wonderful moments of my life.....
They had a big party on Friday, all invited, apart from me and my other daughter of course, we had a little dance together in the kitchen and ate pancakes with honey and ginger marmalade, our own little party

I feel I have lost hope of ever seeing my precious daughter again, no bad word had ever been said between us. I have got another court hearing though, on the 11th June, and it statesfor them) 'you must attend the court hearing'.....'YOU MUST OBEY......IF YOU DO NOT, YOU WILL BE GUILTY OF CONTEMPT OF COURT AND YOU MAY BE SENT TO PRISON'
Scary stuff, so I hope they do turn up this time and maybe I'll get a date to see my precious grandchildren