When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

This thread is so sad I cannot even write a few lines about what will happen when I lose my two dogs, even now tears streaming down my face thinking of that day. One of them is twelve and in fairly good health the other one is 10 and a half she is okay but she has diabetes so has insulin twice a day and her condition has caused blindness. She still loves her walks and knows her route by same daily route and using her nose to smell. When that time comes to say good-bye I know I will
be distraught so just cannot say what I will do.

I've have been with every one of my dogs when they have had to put asleep. I was distraught, but I had to be with them to say goodbye and thank them for the joy they brought to me. My sister's dog died at the vets 4 weeks ago, she wasn't with her and it's breaking her heart. She got her ashes back yesterday and the vets gave her a beautiful card. Some people don't understand why we grieve so badly for an animal and it really upsets me. They expect you just to go and get another like it was a handbag. They are family and if you are brave enough stay with them, hold their paw and tell them goodbye.

No, I can't understand leaving a pet to at the end. One of my cats who was especially hard to domesticate was feral for the first 18 months of his life but became a much loved pet for 14 years. I was the only human he would willingly let touch him and he was looking for me as Kali describes. By staying with him and telling him what a great pet he was and stroking him I got that feeling that he knew I loved him.
Another rescue cat was 19 when he died and I did the same with him. For a while after he died I felt him get on the bed in his usual way. Probably a trick of the brain, but who knows.

Pammie1

For the most part this has been an empathetic thread, if a little upsetting, and, for me, sharing the stories of love and affection for our furry friends has been uplifting. But I have to say I’m surprised that some posters have taken the thread title as a personal insult and have posted quite nastily reactionary replies. Unnecessary.

I hope people haven't taken it as a personal insult because we all want what is best for our pets.

To be fair, if you unravel the OP to read what Kali2 is saying, as opposed to the finger wagging words of the unknown vet, Dont let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they dont like, Don't be a coward Don't forget, it kind of makes sense who is talking. Maybe it just came out wrong on paper.
Maybe the vet's text should have been in italics Kali2?
I'm not sure I would want to be given the lecture by that vet though if it were my pet.

What a lovely, but sad, post. It's awful, isn't it, when you have to say goodbye to a much-loved pet.

I felt honoured to attend my cat's death last December. It was a 'nice' death in that the vet gave her injection to make her sleepy first, followed by the fatal injection. I talked to her and stroked her the whole time. She even purred (although it might have been a 'stress purr'). I waited until getting home before breaking down in tears.

Another cat's death a few years ago wasn't good at all because the vet didn't give her a sleepy injection first, and she yowled with pain as the euthanasia injection went in.

My heart goes out to anybody who wasn't let into the vets to be with their pets in their final moments because of covid. Absolutely heartless.

So sorry 3nanny6- that was not the intention at all.

Our DDs dog got diabetes and we had to inject twice a day- and he did become blind and was quite nervous going for walk.

So I did what I said I would never do- and OH was horrified- I bought a dog pram, with a safety net at the front. After 2 walks getting used to is, he absolutely loved it- he would sit up and his ears blew in the wind, and it was wonderful. We did get funny looks, but I truly did not care!

We went on holiday to Tuscany soon after, and took the pram, and our friends from UK who joined us thought it was great- and even OH was happy and even pushed the pram from time to time, and agreed it was a wonderful solution. He even came on a ski holiday with us and all the family, and we took it in turn to stay with him at the Café by the slopes. Tourists from all over the world asked to take photos.

We then lent it to a friend who dog broke her leg, and it was a huge success too.

Just enjoy him for the moment.

As an aside, who on earth sends anyone nasty pms? How weird.

Oh well I have now had a cry! I have stayed with all of my animals at their end. One of my dogs collapsed on the floor after barking at a cat outside, think it must have been his heart, I got there just in time. All of my cats, apart from one who died on the kitchen floor after being poisoned I think, he' went' as I was on the phone to the vet, the others I have stroked, touched or done whatever I was able to do, usually with my youngest son who is a big softy. We both cried. Very sad time.

Thank you for your post at 13.03 Chewbacca. We've had pets our entire married life and there was just one occasion when I was so distraught that I took the advice of our trusted vet and didn't stay.

It's wrong to assume that anyone who doesn't stay, doesn't love their pet.

Totally agree

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Oh Alioop, the beautiful card, you are right, only pet owners and vets understand what that means. I can read the grief of the vet in every word here which brings comfort that she took care of him in my absence.
Fly high golden boy. July 2021.

I did once leave a beloved cat because I had, simply had to go to work and it would take some hours for the blood tests to confirm the diagnosis. He was, however, past knowning where he was, but I left him wrapped up in a bath towel from home.

I have never either before or since left an animal in that situation. Last time, I am certain that my old cat knew I was there up to the time the sedative given before the final injection started to work. The day prior to his death, he had refused to let me leave his side. I spent most of that Sunday sitting on the floor beside him.

The young cat, recently killed by a car, I couldn't be with, but he had known nothing about what literally hit him, as he was so peaceful to look at.

Strangely enough, both my parents, an aunt and my sister chose to slip away while I was five minutes away from their respective death beds.

Kali2 that's okay only with my dogs being a big part of my life
knowing at some point they will not be with me sends a shiver through me. My DD always jokingly said those dogs are more to you than the grand-children which is not true but my dogs live with me they know they have me wrapped around their paws and they are my best friends.
My dog with the diabetes is never nervous for a walk she loves going out and sometimes people on the dog walks cannot believe she cannot see. There is a lady who sometimes has her dog out and his back legs are getting weak
so she pushes him in a pushchair now like you which he likes he then gets a short walk through the park and back in his pushchair to go home. It's amazing what lengths we will go to
to cater for our pets. I have thought when the end may arrive I would like to have the vet to come to the house as I will be inconsolable and will cry my eyes out which I would rather do at home.

I would never put a pet through what I wasn't prepared to watch. My golden doodle is just on a slippery slide down and we will have to make the dreaded decision very shortly. His Degenerative Myelopathy is now beginning to affect his daily life and I won't watch him suffer but it is hard to gauge when the time is right. When that moment comes, we will set off on a short walk to the vets and I will be with him to the better end.

icanhandthemback

Oh I’m sobbing now! I have two Bichon who are 10. This weekend my girl has been really under the weather and it got me thinking about what if lose her? Hence why this made me sob so much. Thankfully she’s a lot better!

Hard though it is, I always stay with my pets to say goodbye. I hold them and stroke to them whilst talking to them, crying yes, but I have to be there. Our vets have always been wonderful and caring.

We are on our last dog as over our 36 year marriage, on average every 4.5 years we hold a beloved pet as they cross the rainbow bridge. We have decided that after our present wonderful spaniel we will stop as we cannot bear the pain.

Sadly, one was put to sleep mid operation when it was found he was riddled with cancer, but I could never leave them alone on that last trip otherwise

My amazing neighbours have provided a loving final home to many dogs whose owners have died, or gone into care homes. Because a lot of the dogs are old when they come to them, they have many sad partings. They always have the vet come to their house, to avoid stress to their elderly 'adopted family members'.
They are amazing people. They must spend a fortune on vet's bills. They take their own two lively setters for long walks, then the Oldies potter off with them to stretch their elderly legs. I don't know how they cope with the number of times they have to cuddle one as it goes on its final journey, but the world is a better place for having kind-hearted people like them in it.
I have also lost many pets, over the years,, and grieved over each one. Being with them at the end is a sad privilege we should all commit to, if we can.

It is so important that, if you have more than one dog, you involve all in the final end. I learnt this when my springer had to be put to sleep at the vets. I left home with one dog and came back with none. My other dog howled for 4 days and kept searching for her friend.

I have had dogs all my life, and have been with every one to the end, apart from my lovely childhood dog who was hit by a car and died almost at once. We would never have left any of them to the care of a stranger - a cuddle, whispering into their ear, they have left this life peacefully . It's the right thing to do as your pet goes calmly, and there is such relief when you see how peaceful the end is, and that there is no more suffering.

Just 10 days ago I lost my oldest dog - Rodney - who was 11.5 but had lost most of his sight and hearing and was becoming increasingly senile.

I took him to see "Uncle Josh" for the last time and, as I have for all my other dogs, held him in my arms as he was PTS. I always hold my hand as near to thier nose as possible, as I've been told that thier sense of smell is the last thing to go.

I would not dream of allowing a pet to die alone, amongst strangers. I had this discussion just after we lost him with a dog owner who said that he could not bear even the thought and could not imagine holding his dog as he died.

I pointed out that if he himself was in bed and dying, I had no doubt that his dog would be under his hand as he went and he could not disagree.

I have taken other people dogs to be PTS and have held them, as well, and before someone tells me I must be abnormal, it hurts every single time but if it has to be done then we, who make the decision, should be there at the end.

When you make the decision to have a dog you should be fully aware of the good and the bad and this is very definately the bad.

I was with my old Westie (Becky) when she died. The vet had known her all of her 15 years of life and together we saw her out of this world. It was the one and only time she accepted a treat from him, in the past he would offer it to her and she would look at it and refuse very politely. There wasn't a dry eye between us. I have her remains in a lovely wooden casket with her name on it on my dressing table along side her photo. I have two dogs now that I love dearly and they have the same vet, there was just something very special about her.

Thisisme

I wish I hadn't read this. Our first cat, 18 years old, was put down in 2019, we were there. It was so quick and easy that when her sister had to be put down this year I thought I could imagine how it would go and she would be fine. Because of Covid we weren't allowed to be with her. So now I feel awful.

I think this has happened to many pets and their owners because of Covid restrictions, Thisisme and I am sorry you weren't able to be with your beloved cat.

Sadly our last dog was taken ill when we were away on holiday and he was on a drip at the vet's when he died in the night. Our DC weren't there either and were distraught.

So many people have been unable to be with beloved relatives when they died, too, because of Covid.
I am sure that most vets and veterinary nurses would be as compassionate with animals as doctors and nurses are with their patients.

Thank you so much for you sensible words. I now know that I’ll stay with my pet to the very end.