Does anyone understand?

I was so upset when our cat died in 2014 I cried so much I gave myself gastritis! Still taking tablets for it. I cried far more for him than I had for my mother or father. Guilt I think, as we should have had him put to sleep earlier and he'd been in pain.

I am really very sorry for the loss of those you loved so much and NO it isn't silly to feel just as devasted by the loss of your lovely ginger lad. Anybody who has ever had a pet knows how much they weave their way into your heart. I still frequently think of my gorgeous girls who gave me all their love, cuddles and purrs for many years and, reading your post plus all the responses, has me crying like a baby again. I do now have another lovely moggy from Cats Protection but I'll never ever forget the ones that went before.
In time I hope you find yourself another beautiful feline member of the family, although you'll never forget (or replace) Duke. Meanwhile I send you ?, ? and more ?.

totally understand the greatest grief ive had was losing my dog last November, raw, gutwrenching, still coming to terms with it.I know dogs are known for their loyalty and love, but aren't cats too? the deeper the love the deeper the grief......

I have just had to have my two 20 year old cats put to sleep within 3 weeks of each other. Such a loss. They have been part of the family for so long and have been such lovely companions. The house seems empty and I miss them so much

I am so very sorry for your losses. Losing your parent and best friend so close together too. It sounds as though you had to be very stoic while they died beside you and then when your beloved cat died you’ve allowed yourself to grieve “out loud” because you didn’t have to be the strong brave kind person you were when your closest human relationships were ending in front of your eyes.
Don’t be too brave now, it is important to go through this process and equally important to talk about how you’re feeling. People who love you really do want to understand and be there for you. So let them!

My very special dog was killed 7yrs ago and I miss him every day, still heartbroken.

I do understand absolutely, I was almost more upset at losing my 18yrs old cat than I was when my mum died and I felt so guilty about it. I think it was probably because the cat was there everyday in every place whereas my mum lived a long distance away and we didn't get together on a regular basis until the last year or so when we made the 6/7 hr round trip every week to see her.

So much loss so close together will hit you hard Tedber.

You sound like a very loving and compassionate person so you will feel all your losses deeply. As Bradfordlass said, it is Love and Grief that are causing you pain.

20+ years ago I lost my Ginger Boy, my best friend and then my mum in the space of 6 months, gutted me.

I no longer have the wound in my heart of their passing but I will always carry scar of the loss and wouldn't want it any other way.

One day at a time. Be as kind to yourself as you can and please don't feel bad/daft or any other rubbish when you cry or feel grumpy. You are hurting and respecting and caring for your feelings is the best thing you can do at this time. Grieving is hard, it hurts and there is no short cut but you will get there.

The love you gave will help carry you through. I'm glad you reached out and I hope you get other help if you feel you need it.

I understand. It’s so painful when we lose a much loved animal. The grief is very real

Tedber: we all understand, I cry buckets every time I lose a pet, and this last time, I cried harder than ever before.

I think both your and my reaction is due to the fact that when our parents died, we coped. We had to, didn't we, making funeral arrangements and all the rest of it.

You hadn't expected your beautiful cat to die, so the shock too makes grief stronger, and when a pet dies, we can go right ahead and break down, because we don't have to notify the bank, and all the others that had to be told when mum and dad went.

There's light at the end of the tunnel. Just take the time to grieve.

Absolutely understand, perhaps not for a cat as I’m not particularly fond of cats, but I still miss my lovely dog he was part of the family. To have so much loss in such a short period of time is very traumatic, please be kind to yourself, grief is absolutely normal, whoever it is for. ?

I understand and I feel for you as you've had such a difficult time recently. The way you are feeling is completely normal and you need time to grieve.

I am so sorry for your losses- all of them.
Of course you feel like this- I was distraught when following a long illness ,we lost our lovely Mulligan last year - as I have been when any of our cats/dogs have died. They are part of your family & it is perfectly natural to grieve.
We waited a couple of months (we still have his sister) & then went to a rescue centre & came home with 3 young cats. Yes 3!! We just fell in love. They are the most wonderful, loving animals ever & although I still miss Mully on a daily basis their mad antics have helped me so much.
There is nothing like a warm purring cat on your lap in the evening.
When you feel up to it maybe look at local rescue centres- but be strong if you only want one cat.
To be fair it is not difficult for us to have lots of animals- we had 6 cats, 2 dogs & were fostering kittens for CPL at one time! hectic but so much fun!

Absolutely understand tedber,it's perfectly normal.So sorry to hear of your losses.I lost my dear little dog last year when he had to be put to sleep due to kidney failure.It's heartbreaking but I found people to be very understanding.Let yourself grieve for your cat as you do for your dear mother.

People who have never had a cat or dog just cannot understand our affection/love for them. I have had 5 dogs at various times, and when they passed away or had to be put to sleep it was almost as bad as when my dear husband passed away after years of suffering. Its like tears in your heart. The only difference between my feelings for the loss of a pet and for the loss of my husband is that I got over the loss of the dogs much more quickly than I am getting over the loss of my husband. That still hurts after 3 years.

Yes I understand. Our 20 year old cat suddenly got very thin and began to fall over. It was heartbreaking to watch her. My husband phoned the vet and they suggested bringing her straightaway. I was not prepared for such a sudden end to her life. I put her in her box and my husband had to take her. As expected the vet put her to sleep as she was too old and sick to be treated. Even now, two years later I still feel her presence. I catch a shadow on the stairs and think it's her. Maybe they never really go away. I'm just thankful now that we gave her 20 years of love and care. My son has just adopted a 10 month old cat and once again the cycle of life begins.

I mourn the passing of my lovely Burmese cat every day. To me she was a person. I'm so sorry for your lose but remember the lovely times you had together and keep him in your heart.

When I lost my Tatty Tabby i cried for weeks as I missed him so much.His brother survived him bt a few months & I still miss him too. Five years & 2lovely girls later I still feel upset over my Boys at times. Our pets are part of our family for most of us. As with losing people we love it blurs round the edges eventually & we remember the good times.

My son and I had an almost 20 year old cat. She lived in my son’s room and I didn’t have much to do with her but she shared a strong bond with my son(27) who has ASD. I used to see her as a bit of a nuisance because I dealt with the litter tray etc. I started to feel sorry for her when about three years ago she began having seizures and was diagnosed with kidney disease. A few months ago she got so skinny the vet took her off the kidney diet and on to a high calorie one but she didn’t gain weight and was hardly able to walk. Cut a long story short the vet hinted for weeks she might need to be put to sleep. The vet came to the house to do it and my son held her until she had gone. I knew he would be upset but while I thought I may be a little sad I was actually distraught. After they had gone we just held each other and sobbed. I couldn’t function for several days and every time I thought about her lifeless body being wrapped up it started me off crying. Even now if I think about that day and about her I can get tearful. She was like a part of the family, I guess.

Of course ! Our pets are part of the family - I can't count the times that I have been in tears each time I have buried one of our rabbits or guinea pigs.
But to me, we have a special connection with our cats and dogs and losing your cat, on top of the other bereavements you have had so recently, why shouldn't you be upset ?
You will eventually remember happy memories of your mum and friend that will help with the grieving process and you will remember the joy of your cat's company too with a smile.

Of course, as Bradford Lass has just said, love is love and animals are part of our families.

Only yesterday, I finally buried the ashes of my last dog in the garden of the house we have finally settled in. I've kept her in the box the vet gave us containing her ashes for 5 years.

It felt safe to give her a last resting place and as I buried her, I shed a few tears and I spoke to her and remembered the times we had together and how she had loved me and I had been grateful for her love and hoped she had felt loved too. It felt warm and complete. They never really leave our hearts.

It's love and grief which causes the pain and it doesn't matter whether you love a human or a precious pet.
Love is love.

The loss is intense and it will take time to come to terms with it all but eventually you'll be able to manage the heartbreak and reminisce about the wonderful years you had with them.

It's bringing these memories to the fore which help us come to terms with our loss - but it's too soon yet Tedber allow yourself to grieve first.

Grief is grief , it’s natural to grieve for a much loved pet x

I'm so sorry Tedber you must be very sad at the moment. The loss of your cat is no less valid than the loss of your Mum and friend. Coming so closely together that's very hard.
Our family and pets all have special places in our hearts and lives and leave a big gap when they die. Take time to grieve for all you have lost, you have my sympathy.

Im so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you have had a hard time.
I totally understand the loss of a pet. I still miss my dogs (sorry never had a cat).
They are our children so it hurts so much.
I wish there was some way of taking away your pain.