Estate Agent's language

A compact kitchen- why not say that it is small and give measurements?

Room for improvement- it needs a lot of expensive work done on it.

When DS1 was looking for his house one of the leaflets described one property as having attractive mature trees to the front garden,what he forgot to say was the trees blocked out every ray of sunlight to the front lounge and porch area a back yard (as we northeners call them)was called a trendy courtyard for alfresco dining,you would find it hard to fit a table and chairs in the area unless you wanted to eat standing up against the backyard wall.

Why do the talk of bathrooms and kitchens ?
Yes it may have more than one bathroom but even a 5 bed detached in an acre of ground doesn't have multiple kitchens.

When our neighbour put his house on the market the agent described his garden as 'grounds'. I wonder if that is why it didn't sell. If he has 'grounds' we have an 'estate'! No we don't ours is a simple garden but twice the size of his.

One of our local ones often starts descriptions with "an opportunity to acquire", which really annoys me!

Since when did anyone "acquire" a house?

He is also very fond of describing houses as "nestling peacefully"