Malapropisms

for many years I thought those pretty creatures flying around my garden were flutterbys..........

Well that's what my daddy told me

I was a bit concerned about a postcard that was put up in the kitchen at work, advertising the services of a local driving instructor, who was obviously proud of his car, as it had air conditioning and duel control.

Swords or pistols?

All in this together girls?

Someone sent me a marketing email for a conference centre. Boast a gym. And a "ten birth jacuzzi". I have heard of water births but that is ridiculous.

twizzle

When he was small, "hoppystool" was the word my son used for 'hospital'

Lots of smiles from me. My son as a toddler, would always ask when was I going to put on my "litspick" and a helicpter was a "doodadit"...also sometimes was "full to the grim"...

Oh sweet!! Keep em coming!
I remember my son, when we lived in Lancashire, had, for a couple of years a dear little northern accent. We were mystified one day when he announced that "Craig's mum works in Fer Grannies" (imagine the Lancashire accent if you will)

After a bit of head scratching we realised he meant Ferranti's .

Granddaughter 3 asked if we could go to Bunnies Underwear House = Bunnings Warehouse.

I think I told this one on another thread: my DS2, around the time of his second birthday, was in hospital being prepared for a big op. As a treat, he insisted on my bringing him 'dalek sausage'. Garlic - gettit?

My 2 year old grandson used to shout 'hello, seesaws' whenever we drove past a field with horses in them.

Same 5 yr old GS also told me that his Mum had taken him to the youseeum to see the dinosaurs

5yr old GS informed me the other day that whilst playing football in the playground, his friend was hit by the ball 'right in the peanuts' !:0

PoppaRob That did did make me laugh! I love this thread.

I noticed yesterday that the BBC news talking about the new memorial for Ted Hughes in poets corner started off saying it was "underneath TS Elliot's memorial" but later changed it to "at the foot of" ....

When my dear old Mum had her hip replacement in January she was looking at the menu and decided she'd like to have the "fruit compost".

On the nursing front, when my sister was doing her RN training in the 60s she had a book called "Really Nurse and Wake Up Nurse" full of medical quips and malapropisms. My favourite was "The patient had fruit, jelly, cake and custard for lunch and vomited a trifle in the afternoon".

Here's one of my own. Years ago when the children were young, I was driving from Essex to Wales on a Bank Holiday. My eldest son suddenly asked from the back if it was normal that the battery, which was under his seat, was hot and smelly. We stopped and eventually a breakdown truck came out and towed us to a garage. I rang my friend and anxiously told her that we were going to be very late as the altimeter had broken. There was a smothered snigger and then sympathy from the other end of the phone!

ga

Annobel, just spotted what I guess is the comment that prompted this thread. It did make me smile.

A couple of favourites from our children:
'Windscreamers' for windscreen wipers.
Grussel's snouts for 'small cabbages'

DD never had accidents, only 'nastidents'.

Not really malapropisms, but my eldest son used to call skyscrapers "skywipers" and, when he said he knew what to call people who made you cross, we all waited with baited breath while he put on a really angry face and shouted " you badger"

Oh sal I really like those 2 words.
My Nana had 3 girls. So changing boy baby's nappies was not something she had done much of. But she really enjoyed helping out with my DSs
She used, occasionally, refer to my DH's "little peanut".

My In-laws had a few words that they could not get right. MIL could never remember 'hysterectomy' and called it 'ectastretna'. FIL, after retirement, was a car park attendant at Blenheim Palace where the posh cars were 'limerines' and Dormobiles 'dobermans'. These words are still used by the family.

The MIL of someone I know was outraged that Pavarotti was invited to Princess Di's funeral because wasn't he to blame for the car crash....?