The very sad case of Sara Sharif

My friend was always afraid when her estranged husband came from Pakistan, as she feared he would snatch her son. She said he was never interested in their daughter, just the boy.
Thankfully, the children are now adults, and relations between them all are quite cordial.

I have friends who work in child services and they always say if you want to know what is going on in a family ask the grandma. All too often professionals dismiss concerns of wider family. They are not mentioned in this case but where were they?

I don’t think we can draw too much about makeup on children for play or special occasions. One of my cousins allowed/encouraged her daughters to makeup and at the age of 8 and 10 they were little clones of mum, precocious too.
They changed a few years later, developed, their own style, entirely normal lovely young women now.

RIP Sara

People gain so much comfort from thinking these poor murdered people are resting in peace in ‘another world’ what if there is nothing and these murdered children have had there lives in pain shouldnt we do everything to make sure we all have a safe life in what we know is the real world
Somehow to me (and it is personal) the over positive hope that they now will have a lovely life, reduces the knowledge of thr suffering they ve been through and is just about comforting the person reading or learning about the tragedy

May this little girl RIP. Peace, no more fear.

While we here on earth are horrified at the actions of other religions that cause such brutal harm and anguish. It is beyond my comprehension how any one can treat another human being.

Misogyny is a dreadful state of mind. It’s everywhere; some countries practice it to the extreme.
Women, girls and female children beware‼️
USA Gundy

My daughter withdrew her two children from school earlier this year for a number of reasons. They found a place for the younger one in a private school but unfortunately there was no place for the older one. So she is now home schooled. When my daughter contacted the council to inform them she found that the school had not notified them that both children had left the school. And we are shocked that after the initial phone call made by my daughter nobody has checked on the children or that the one being home schooled is alright. So it would seem it’s easy for those with ill intentions to get away with it.

RIP little Sara.

I’ve seen photos before of very young children in India and Pakistan wearing makeup and jewellery for special occasions, with nothing sinister implied.

I don’t think we should read too much into that photo, Sara looks bright-eyed and engaged, not stressed. If we place too much emphasis on that image we may well be barking up the wrong tree when it comes to speculating on what happened to her.

Injuries pointing to a long history of abuse don’t suggest honour killing to me, neither does her age.

That photograph is very disturbing - make-up, lipstick, dangly ear-rings and sitting on a double bed - very suspicious - poor little darling.

I’m in no way minimising the dreadful treatment and death Sara experienced when I remind us, an average of one child each week in the uk is killed by a parental figure. Stepfathers most often the perpetrator.
We know very little about Sara. The fact her mother had such limited contact to a child living in her father’s new family is in itself unusual.
I find it hard to believe the father could inform school she was being withdrawn home schooled the day after bruising was noticed. The suggestion she was being bullied because she wore a hijab is at odds with photographs of her in their garden in shorts and short sleeve top, not to mention the makeup others referred to.
I know there are loving skilled parents who home school. There are also abusive parents who seek to prevent their children being outside their control.
It’s a fact thst social work is over stretched, underfunded and under resourced. It seems the body of knowledge, the theoretical basis to good practice is disregarded, the wheel constantly reinvented.
There are some excellent retired sw who could offer supervision, guidance. They were made redundant when austerity hit, replaced by people straight out of university. It’s depressing

BlueBelle

Pretty sure that would have been a posed photo for a prospective husband not only makeup but long dangling earrings nothing like how a 10 year old would look
Poor little mite makes my heart bleed and if I hear lessons have been learnt one more time I ll shove it down their throats

I wonder why the father rang the police the minute they landed in Pakistan which makes me think it might be the step mother they could have just left her there

Yes, I think she was possibly being put on the marriage market for money.

It seems incomprehensible that British children living in the UK could be in danger of being sold as wives to men in other countries.

if I hear lessons have been learnt one more time I'll shove it down their throats
Hear hear!!

Boz

In some cultures pretty little girls are an asset in the marriage market. They can be put on the market as young as ten for an arranged marriage (that Photo?). Money changes hands and there is a future contract made. When the girl reaches pubity she is married off. All horrible and sickening.

This.
I wondered exactly the same thing.
I hate the thought that these vicious cowards have run off to Pakistan to avoid justice.

Pretty sure that would have been a posed photo for a prospective husband not only makeup but long dangling earrings nothing like how a 10 year old would look
Poor little mite makes my heart bleed and if I hear lessons have been learnt one more time I ll shove it down their throats

I wonder why the father rang the police the minute they landed in Pakistan which makes me think it might be the step mother they could have just left her there

LovesBach

I was sad to look at the photo of her in the news - she was wearing makeup and lipstick. Poor little girl - what kind of life was possibly being forced upon her.

Yes this is what always gets to me too, it looks sexual , definitely rings alarm bells.

Yes, Dickens, it is an odd system. It seems to me from my close observations that much store is set by what the parents say. My daughter had a malicious complaint made against her and the SW rang her and asked her what it was all about. Whilst there was no case to answer, they took her word over the phone at face value. A paedophile then targeted the family and my daughter felt he was a bit odd so she blocked her number and didn’t respond. The police turned up on the doorstep with a SW and for weeks my daughter was subjected to the various vagaries of a system which will tell you what you can’t do but not what you should do. Furthermore, any suggestion that your child might be neurodivergent means you are blaming the child for their behaviour rather than trying to understand why and getting help from the relevant medical authorities. I truly believe that SS are not fit for purpose but because of the ideology taught rather than the fault of individual SW’s who no doubt start their training with the best of intentions.

DiamondLily

Looks like yet another case of failure by social services, police, other agencies.

Poor little lass. 🙁

Unfair to blame social services who are pushed to the limit and beyond with massive numbers of cases they can't possibly deal with properly, and often inexperienced staff.

I’m also upset about this little girl and what has happened to her. I wonder if we will ever know the full story.

icanhandthemback

When a child is home-schooled, the parents can be asked to see the work of or the work plan for the child. However, the parents do not have to allow the Home School Officer to see the child or speak to it. This seems incredibly short sighted.

When a Social Worker turns up to see the family, if the child is out, then they go away again. They might make another appointment but often they are very busy. It is hard to blame a SW who is overloaded with cases. Very often the case worker changes too because SW's get burned out.

If the husband was violent, maybe Mum had to leave the children to escape him. That would have gone against her in a court and I suspect that there was a certain amount of PC on the part of the authorities. A steady stream of propaganda against Mum for leaving them might have influenced the children say they didn't want to live with her and the court to give Dad residency.

It is hard to blame a SW who is overloaded with cases. Very often the case worker changes too because SW's get burned out.

Yes, in fairness, laying the blame on social workers is somewhat unjust - there aren't enough of them and they are overburdened, and can only work within the framework of what they are and are not allowed to do.

I think it's the 'ideology' of that framework / system which is part of the problem. I'm sure it's a difficult balance so I'm not underestimating the problem, however if a child is flagged as being at risk of ill treatment or neglect within the family setting, then that family should not have the right to refuse entry to their home by a social worker, and if access is denited - then there has to be an immediate follow-up... this really is one of those instances where if you have nothing to hide, you have no reason not to comply with the request. It's all so easy, fob off the social workers, remove the child from school for home education - or find a suitable excuse - and that child is, effectively, dropped from any scrutiny by any agency - dropped right through the cracks in the system.

It wasn't that long ago that we were commenting on another case of child cruelty - and ultimate death. The little boy dragging his duvet who could barely stand he was so weak, his misery was apparent and heart-rending. And, here we are again, commenting on yet another death of a tortured and beaten child.

It really is now time that the whole system was examined and the emphasis placed on protecting the child - not the sensibilities of the adults,

My son at age three had an undisclosed condition which meant he kept falling over more than was usual for children of his age, and he sustained a hell of a lot of bruises in a short space of time. There were questions asked - of me - and yes, it was uncomfortable, but I kept my cool because I realised why it was necessary. And it also led to the diagnosis of his 'condition'... he had one leg considerably shorter than the other - not noticeable under normal circumstances (and apparently, not uncommon) - which made him lose his balance (no treatment required - the shorter leg caught up with the longer leg eventually).

Looks like yet another case of failure by social services, police, other agencies.

Poor little lass. 🙁

He must have been taxiing 24hrs a day to afford a £550,000 house.

In some cultures pretty little girls are an asset in the marriage market. They can be put on the market as young as ten for an arranged marriage (that Photo?). Money changes hands and there is a future contract made. When the girl reaches pubity she is married off. All horrible and sickening.

When a child is home-schooled, the parents can be asked to see the work of or the work plan for the child. However, the parents do not have to allow the Home School Officer to see the child or speak to it. This seems incredibly short sighted.

When a Social Worker turns up to see the family, if the child is out, then they go away again. They might make another appointment but often they are very busy. It is hard to blame a SW who is overloaded with cases. Very often the case worker changes too because SW's get burned out.

If the husband was violent, maybe Mum had to leave the children to escape him. That would have gone against her in a court and I suspect that there was a certain amount of PC on the part of the authorities. A steady stream of propaganda against Mum for leaving them might have influenced the children say they didn't want to live with her and the court to give Dad residency.

This is a tragedy . Think how she suffered
Apart from that "Lessons will be learnt" comes up with no real meaning and certainly no solution
You are correct home learners do not have many checks. We have a family near us who home educated very well I may add but in the three years we have lived here not one check .

I agrée but with these families there is far too much pussyfooting around their sensibilities. Regardless of any religion or culture, if someone makes their home here they must be held to the same standards of child welfare/domestic abuse legislation as any other citizen.

Perhaps when a child is known to the social services / multi disciplinary safeguarding agencies - home-schooling should not be allowed?

Local Authorities do not have any statutory rights to monitor the quality of the education, nor speak to the child, and the parents of the child can refuse entry into the home.

So immediately, the guardians / parents are safe in the knowledge that they can remove a child from school. All they have to do is notify the school that they will be withdrawing their child from it, and ask for the name to be removed from the admissions register.

It's just too easy isn't it for abusive parents to conceal the evidence of their abuse from the eyes of teachers and other adults who might notice cuts and bruises - or that a child is withdrawn or unhappy.

So much for 'safeguarding',

The child my family member was fostering was allowed supervised visits with his abusive father. The nature and the extent of the abuse was not known. Eventually the child was allowed to be with his father - unsupervised. He changed almost overnight - from being a happy outgoing little boy to one who cried frequently and was withdrawn. When the social services were notified by my family member, he was withdrawn from their care and placed elsewhere. This was in the 70s (both family members are now deceased)... it doesn't seem like much has changed since then.

Sara’s brother needs bringing back too. He should be with his mother, not being brought up with those monsters.