Boris in Isolation-where is he? what will he do?

"That tip I gave the deliveroo driver was an awful lot considering my salary."

We look forward to regular updates lemon. When you overhear BJ flirting with his latest girlfriend who will you tell first? Carrie or Gransnet?

Now that you all have access to what’s going on.....there will be many updates no doubt, and I shall look forward to listening in.?I may have to bug other residences over the next few months ( in the national interest of course.)
There are so many conversations of import to hear, I may
Cross the Channel and seek out Michel Barnier’s gaff, or cross the pond and slip into the Oval Office....

Crackle mumble mumble “Ah, bedtime! Best time of the day
Eh Carrie?” It’s really strange, but since I started this home working thing, I can hardly keep my eyes open! Have had several little naps already, think I’m more like old Winston than I realised, I’ll be taking up painting next. In fact I do enjoy a bit of colouring in, now that I think of it.
Just before I went to brush my teeth had a surprise call from
Michel Barnier! Charming chappie and so amusing, he said he was sorry to phone so late and hoped we weren’t in the middle of dinner!Haha, it had to be a joke because it was gone
9pm by then.Am not sure if he’s French, Belgian or a Swiss to be honest, but I know he isn’t German because when I met him last year I greeted him in fluent German and he congratulated me on my language skills, but took me by the arm and led me to Frau Merkel ( she frightens me a bit).Anyway I had it wrong because he spoke to her in French.
Anyway, tonight he told me a few anecdotes and discussed
A new play he had just been to see, then (I can hardly say this for laughing.....told you he was an amusing man) he said that we could have all the British waters we wanted but that the EU wanted all the fish! Haha, Michel I said, you crack me up”

Brilliant Lemon Thank you

???

Come on Carrie must get Breakfast done, oven ready, popty ping, get breakfast done.
On to the green agenda, good lord what have you been feeding Wilfred, too many peas, cor glad I’ve got my mask on.
Come on, have to get breakfast done, get it done.
Pass the playing cards dear, oh no two jokers are missing, how am I supposed to deal, what, what, no deal, will have to reshuffle, a reshuffle indeed, that won’t be priti.
Must get breakfast done

Ha Ha very funny LauraNorder and Lemon

Carreeeeeee, there's a set of false teeth in my porridge, what, I nearly choked, there's a microphone in them, that blasted old spy from gransnet has been sniffing round again.
Code name Lemongrove, doesnt fool me. Its an anagram of Ole Nomgrev, that renowned Russia spy.
Careful what you say now, don't tell them your name Carrie.

Must pay attention to the fishing rights now, don't want all those french bateaux trawling round our waters. That reminds me Carrie I fancy a bit of sturgeon for lunch (or will that be the other way round), and maybe some shooting after lunch, bag me a drake for dinner, (drakeford inner, see what I did there Carrie? Got to foster the old union you know.

I'm off to the office anyway, the quacks have said it's OK and perfectly safe. There's lots of files around. Need Dom. Dom always read these. I should make a start, but there are so many. Play quick game of F***, marry, avoid with the female Conservative MPs. But get stuck on the cabinet. I mean there's Pritti. You would, well you might, but when she gives you that look.....

Carrie, get me some mouthwash, no I haven't been swearing in front of Wilf, I want to gargle away the covid germs,

Right! Onwards and upwards ( to my study) to start the day’s work, a PM’s lot is not a happy one, much like a policeman’s.
Am wearing a shirt and tie ( in case of zoom meetings) but have my comfy old bermuda shorts on....this is the life, no restricting suits for ages, haha.No sooner do I plonk myself in the recliner than the phone rings and I have to heave myself out and sit at the desk.It’s only Jacob though, wanting, in his words ‘to chew the fat’ ...very trendy words for you Jacob old pal I say, and he laughs his high pitched girlish laugh and says he’s trying out a few modern phrases to show how streetwise he is these days. I say nothing. We talk of this and that for a few mins and then he says he has to go, ‘Am being measured by my tailor for some denim jeans..TTFN’ and he rings off.
What now I think, there are five dossiers requiring my attention on the desk but I feel a bit lethargic ( should I take my temp?) and feel my eyelids closing, so back into the recliner.Carrie storms in soon after with a cup of strong black coffee for me because ‘she knew I would be asleep’ ! I assured her I was just resting my eyes and had just taken an important phone call.She does a twirl whilst I sip my coffee and says ‘Well?’ I gape at her for a second and say “very nice! New hairdo?” She gives me a pitying look and says ‘new earrings but then you never notice the small things do you!’ It’s quite true actually, on a visit to Holyrood I tripped over Nicola Sturgeon. I drink my coffee and say “Is there a digestive biscuit to be had?”

Oh, I needed a laugh LauraNorder and Ole Nomgrev!
Thank you
Keep 'em coming.

don't want to spoil the flow but 'tripped over Nicola Sturgeon', I cant stop giggling, nearly choked on my coffee. hilarious Lemon

I'm in for all the updates, lemongrove Great stuff!

JRM slammed the phone down, took offence when I asked after his kids, silly old goat.

Mind I do like his idea of giving them Latin numerals for names- helps you keep track off them. Carrie wasn't up for it though and anyway I wasn't sure if it was Sextus or Septimus. Aw well!

Contemplating my navel, so much fluff, where's the hand held vac? Thinking about Tony Blair's biggest mistake, thoughts wander to Cherie, must remember to post Christmas cards. Oops better steer clear of post box references. Devolution? Is that evolution in reverse, mmmm ponder ponder

Sextus, Septimus sounded good to me, Carrie wanted Primo or Primitus, I suppose in her case......
Sounded more like a camping stove to me

Camping reminds me I need to ask Blair how he got out of here with so much dosh. Way things are going it'll be a tent for us.
Ha Hancock on telly saying Christmas is doubtful or some such tosh. Whose going to be the Gringe now? not me at any rate.

Note to self..
Get Carrie to buy a flat in Bristol for Wilfred

Had the catholic church on my back, they totally misunderstand the meaning of mass testing, duh

Been ordering some stuff off Amazon. Got some face masks for Dad, a peerage for bro....oh no I got him that already.

lemongrove -tripping over Nicola Sturgeon had me spluttering out loud, keep them coming