Legalising prostitution

The assumption seems to be that it's just men who are in relationships who use prostitutes, but that's not necessarily the case.

I think it should be legalised.

...and most men would eat what's on the table at home but snack on unhealthy goodies elsewhere, given the chance.

I'm in agreement with your last comment.
When I met my OH, online and some years ago, I made it crystal clear what was 'on the table' so to speak and what would never be accepted.
As a man who travels abroad many times a year to conferences etc and, having seen photos of him in social settings, I wanted him to understand that I would not accept louche behaviour or dallying with other women if he wanted to be with me.
There has to be trust and in my case there is. (he's much younger)
I agree with many of your comments but have to say that, since the dawn of time, the male of most species will lust after women but most would not want to entirely give up their long term partner.
Cake and eat it comes to mind.
It's the visuals. Men go for looks at first sight.
Women go more for humour and reliability.
That's my take on it anyway.

I am not the one in here deciding what is or is not 'edgier' I am just questioning why it is accepted that if a man's partner does not 'oblige' him in the way he wishes then its ok to go elsewhere and even pay for it. Why is this acceptable? Why is sex with someone else ok? I am not sure I am even judging just asking why we as a society can see that as an option. If someone has a lover who is out of sync with them why pretend its a happy relationship? Why not move on? Certainly they should be honest enough to arrange their lives so that all concerned a willing participants not paid or coerced 'professionals'. As I said I'm just asking the questions because I find this entrenched attitude even among women puzzling.

janipat

I lived in a building right opposite and in an area where many of these women 'worked'.
I also knew the police who patrolled (yes, in those days bobbies walked the beat) that area and saw them in pubs and clubs and the comings and goings in the houses. It was a well known fact well before I ever worked there.

HildaW
I've no idea HildaW...long before my time I assure you.
I'm not saying that it's acceptable to all.
Some women only accept the missionary position and would think any other way, unacceptable.
It depends on the individual's appetite.
If a man's partner isn't open to experimenting with him then he may possibly look elsewhere. Edgier doesn't have to mean mind-boggling practices, merely sex which may include the use of toys or dressing up or even just positions that the male cannot indulge in with his partner.
Eating the same meal 365 x 10/20/30/40years can be boring.
Men are programmed to be able to separate love from sex quite easily.
Women, less so. That's why most 'working girls' don't kiss their clients or have any intimacy which includes knowing them. It's a transaction. Nothing more.

Not sure whether your post is directed to me notanan2. If it is then correlations or otherwise, the girls in question need protection - health checks, help with drink and drugs etc. It really is unimportant how they came into the situation, the situation is there and a way forward has to be found to give them a safe haven. Surely you would agree with that.

HildaW I understand what you are saying. Things have moved on since the "rounding up of prostitutes" however. We live in the real world where problems that exist have to be addressed in the best way possible.

Once again I think you have your correlations backwards.

Women who have a history of being used and abused by men are more likely to have addictions, rather than the addiction being the "cause" that leads on to sex work etc...

It has been going on since forever, but that's got a lot to do with the power men have always maintained over women compounded by the fact then men recorded everything - history has been largely written by men. Societies have been ruled by them and in many cases they still are. Unless attitudes change thing will go on forever but we must keep encouraging the next generation of women not to accept the status quo.
In my Grandmother's time women 'suspected' of being prostitutes were rounded up and forcibly 'examined' to ensure they were not infecting men. They were brutalised in prison for daring to demand the vote. My mother accepted my fathers 'tastes' because she could not face the shame of being left. Even I can remember a time when I had to pretend to be married to go on the pill when I was engaged. In the clinic we were all referred to as 'Mrs' to save our faces!
These are just the tip of the iceberg and women have coped with far more but that should never stop us questioning the status quo and asking why servitude should be accepted to ensure a minority of society 'needs' are met.

This will go down like a lead balloon, but here goes.

Prostitution should be legalised. For whatever reason these girls are on the streets, there should be a safe haven for them to go, receive health checks, and help with drugs and alcohol abuse, and everything else.

The girls themselves should have an element of protection. You are never going to stop it it has been going since time began.

I am curious (perhaps naïve) but when was it decided that it was acceptable to accept the fact that some men who prefer 'edgier' sex can go elsewhere? Is this really what modern women in the 'Me Too' generation should be taught? Should sex (of any persuasion) outside a relationship be seen as acceptable because the man's needs must be met? Would it be treated the same if it was a woman?

Gabriella, I'm interested to learn how you knew these adult, well dressed women were prostitutes, when you say we'd have never guessed. Did they all personally approach you to divulge their work practice?

Thanks for the link grannyactivist.

Gabriella, your comments about Gorton, Moss Side and maybe Longsight, and "some other rough areas but I certainly don't know and have not known any dysfunctional families". - says it all really.

grannyactivist

Are you really asking us to believe that 1/3 of girls under the age of 18 have dysfunctional parents/families?
That's a heck of a lot of families.
In Gorton, Moss Side maybe Longsight and some other rough areas but I certainly don't know and have not known any dysfunctional families.
When I started nursing, I lived in the hospital which was slap bang in the middle of a red light district and yes, they really did have red lights in the hallways.
None of the women were teens and all were smartly dressed.
You would never have guessed that was how they made their money.
It's not a case of pigeon-holeing all girls/women who sell sex.
You may be talking about a certain sector like the Rochdale scenario, which is not what I am talking about.
I'm all for legalising prostitution for adult women who freely choose it as a way to fund whatever lifestyle they want.

Eloethan
...and please don't talk to me as if I know nothing.
I referred to clean as in places from where they can conduct business.
Make some suggestions as to how we can remove or stop this practice, this blight (or whatever you want to call.
it)
At least I'm not going down a road to nowhere, as are you and others who want the whole scenario stopped.
Many (young) women give it away freely every day of the week, changing their 'boyfriends' with alarming regularity.
You pass them by in shops, it might be your hairdresser. It might be a call centre worker in Sheffield or a train despatcher in Surrey. It could be the police officer or paramedic at the scene of an accident.
Are they any better than someone who gets paid for sex rather than giving it away for nothing?
Many females are not even in relationships when they give it up.
IMO, no value is placed on the act, whether paid or unpaid, unless you are in a committed loving relationship.

When I was a social worker in Manchester some of my clients were sex workers and every one of those women was somebody's child, someone's grandchild, or mother or sister. Think about how you would want to protect these girls if they were your beloved relative (I say girls, not women, because research has shown that almost a third of girls become sex workers before they reach the age of eighteen). But of course that's the point; many of these women have experienced dysfunctional family relationships where caring parents have been conspicuous by their absence. They need compassion and they need support.

For those of you who are interested there is a really good paper written by CARE (Christian Action Research and Education) that was prepared as a written submission for the House of Commons Home Affairs Committee on Prostitution. It's well worth a read: data.parliament.uk/WrittenEvidence/CommitteeEvidence.svc/EvidenceDocument/Home%20Affairs/Prostitution/written/29055.html

I was 'talking' about women who peddle sex on the streets to fund their next fix.
They are women who had their addiction before turning to tricks to fund their habit.
Stuck in a cycle it seems impossible to break as their looks show their addiction and they find it hard to get normal jobs with decent pay.
They are coerced not by men but by their habit.
The other side of the coin are women who, for the most part, would find it relatively easy to get a normal job but choose to sell sex.
Often, high rewards for something they don't have to tax their brains about, is more appealing than a 9-5 office or shop job.
Many women have degrees but choose sex work for 5-8 years as a way of saving for a house deposit or expensive clothes and holidays that an ordinary job couldn't sustain.
The few who are coerced or threatened we have all read/heard about. It's well documented and they are often the product of broken homes.

RosieLeah You say "No Iam64, I could never bring myself to sell my body. I'd rather starve to death, but not all women have such self-respect."

In an earlier post you also talked about "decent women" as a contrast to sex workers.

I believe Iam64 was a social worker who has seen the misery and hopelessness of sex workers, many of whom have addiction problems. Research has shown how many of these women have had sexually and/or physically abusive backgrounds which in turn has led to low self esteem and significant mental health issues. It's much easier to have self-respect when you have experienced love and respect - much harder for those who have experienced neither.

Gabriella We're talking about human beings here - not objects that need to be kept clean in "regulated places" where they can "meet the wants" of men.

It would be good to get men's true thoughts on this.

I'm not in favour of it being visible such as in Amsterdam's red light district nor it being relegated to poorer areas. Not in your face but in decent town buildings.

If legalisation actually offered in practice, what it promised in theory, I would be all for it!

It doesn't though. It makes things worse for women.

* call all
outying putting

Anja unfortunately areas that have already tried legalisation have had the opposite results to those hypothetical pros

Wish it was the other way round. But it isnt.

It will never be stopped so it's better to be regulated.
Women/girls can always say no.
Far too many females place little or no value on sex and allow it to happen all too often on first dates.
My lads would never have dreamed of forcing women to be compliant.
It's up to parents to bring up our children knowing the rights and wrongs in relationships and call that entails.
Unfortunately, some children don't have father figures or decent role models on which to base their perceptions of sex and how to treat women.
If they see mum accepting all kinds of abuse, verbal and physical, they are likely to look for the same.
Kids hear more than you may think and mum crying out in the bedroom may signal that mum is outying up with unpleasant things are when in fact they aren't.

notanan2
Porn is never going to be curbed and young men, under 16s, will always find a partner regardless of not being able to access prostitutes.
Pros don't mind dressing up to 'satisfy' fetishes. You and I may not want to do such things.
Some men will, regardless of marriage and children, be drawn to other women and better that his wants are met in a clean, well regulated place where he knows that he can find his requests met, than shell out for drinks etc in the hope of getting lucky in a bar after work.