Corbychev's Defence Policy, Part II
Comrade Corbychev becomes PM and calls an emergency meeting of Labour MPs.
PM Corbychev : Oh dear. It would seem Comrade Putin is using chemical weapons with gay abandon now. He really shouldn't you know. He is naughty. But perhaps it's not him? We can't be sure.
Comrade McDonnell: Hmmm. I think a few people saw loads of Russian planes and tanks during the last skirmish - BUT - we must remember this could be a Trump ruse and Comrade Putin is entirely innocent.
PM Corbychev : Well said John. We mustn't be too hasty. Comrade Putin is a little bit wild, boys will be boys, ha ha, they tend to love tanks and planes. Pity his mother didn't dress him in a frock and give him dolls, but hey ho. As you are aware -we are trying to teach the world to sing - in perfect harmony. I think Comrade Putin has forgotten my plan.
Another concerned Labour MP: But Comrade Corbychev, Comrade Putin has admitted to maiming and killing thousands in Syria with chemical weapons in his last attack.
Comrade McDonnell: No, that was Trump in disguise.
PM Corbychev: Hmmm. Dilemma. Comrade John - have we got enough dosh in the coffers to make a strike against those unenlightened, violent types in Russia who like hurting people? Tut. We'll show Comrade Putin we mean business!
Comrade McDonnell. No Comrade, but I can tax the rich and any fool who works to buggery if you like? That'll teach them for keeping the economy going.
PM Corbychev: Good plan John. We have to have a strategy which will scare those who carry on being very bad and making the western world just a teensy bit scared.
Comrade McDonnell: Hey, that's almost fighting talk Corby. Are you OK?
PM Corbychev : Oh yes. I have a plan. I can stop Comrade Putin in his tracks.
MPs smile and look encouraged.
Comrade McDonnell: What are you suggesting Jez..I mean Comrade?
Comrade Corbychev: Get the Chief of Defence - that nasty aggressive military bod - on the phone. I'll liaise with him.
^ PM speaks on phone to nasty military person who organises soldiers, guns and tanks and things.^
PM Corbychev : Yes, as suggested I have given the whole Russian aggression problem a bit of thought. Comrade Putin didn't adopt my tea drinking plan (make love not war, dude) so I have got an idea which will put Comrade Putin out of action for a while. I hate doing it, it seems mean but....
We are going to build a naughty step in 10 Downing Street!
That'll teach him to mess with me!