Have you done your Swedish death clean yet?

We've got rid of a lot of stuff in the past few years - much of it when Dh re insulated the loft - had to clear everything out and then wonder why we'd held on to most of it.
Charity shops were the beneficiaries! Oxfam was just one of them, and they informed us later that our donations had raised over £250!

There is still stuff to go, though we are not hoarders. This winter I am going to attack my wardrobe and get rid of all the things I've been hanging on to in case I ever want to wear them again, even though I haven't for a few years.

I do think of dds, and having done it more than once, I am all too aware what a huge and horrible task it is, clearing someone's house after they've died or had to go into a care home.
What they will do with the things I just have to keep, I don't know. Among these are my father's lovely silk christening gown and shawl - he was born 1916 - painstakingly pintucked and trimmed with lace, I think by my great granny. My mother would have liked to use them for us, but we were all too fat for them!

Having cleared two big houses over the last two years belonging to my mum and deceased in laws I am very aware of leaving all our stuff for the children to sort, so am clearing all sorts of things. Helped by the fact that the one dumping room suffered ceiling collapse recently so even having to do that sooner than planned. Anyway feels good to do it.

www.kidzworld.co.za/images/stories/articles/activities/crafts/a-round-tuit.pdf

A template so you can have your own round tuit. Failing that you can have a long weekend in York, because there is a good gift shop there that stocks lots of them - just in case you need one, of course.
Not that I'm encouraging you to avoid getting a round tuit.

I have been trying the
getting round tuit for several years.
Every time I mention it,
DD just rolls her eyes.

Hi Jalima

When we moved 4 years ago we threw away loads of stuff. It was a painful process but I did often think that I would rather be doing it when I was fit and had someone to help, than if I was old, not very well or bereaved. And it is good to feel less encumbered. We just had just 2 self-drive van loads to move. One of those was entirely occupied by stuff DH could not bear to part with. CDs and Comics mainly. And some books. These are now in an expensively refurbished roof space and will never be looked at. I have told him if he goes first I will be seriously angry with him for leaving me to dispose of all those storage boxes full of CDs and comics. People round the corner moved to the IOM last week with a ginormous removal vanful. I felt slightly smug.

I agree with Iam64 and try and do the same but I also have all the photographs.Nothing in the loft to be cleared though and I regularly sort out the garage as DH could be quite a hoarder if I didn't insist.

I keep planning a bit clear-out but have to get a Round Tuit first.

minimo life is short enough already, I certainly don't want to do this. Life is for living, not waiting to die.

From the title, I thought it was some kind of drastic colon cleanse! Jane43

I had a big clear-out last month, but at 63 I wasn't really thinking in terms of impending death!

I don't think our children would want us to get rid of items that we saved up for just on the off chance that we popped off next week? What if we get rid of all our things at 50 then live until our 90s? DH and I are both collectors and our things have a certain value. I'm not going to throw them away or donate them. DS knows to look online to see what they are selling for at the time of our deaths so he knows how much he can expect to get for each particular item. He can keep what he wants and get cash for the rest.

cayugal123 de-cluttering ISNT to save your loved ones the bother of doing it after your demise......its for you...now !! It is THE most freeing experience. You will only have to do it once ... honestly! Read the book by Marie Kondo.

Oh and NameChange2016
You miss the whole point of de-cluttering if you hire in a professional!

Hi all of you ..... here's the thing..... read an excellent book called... The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying.I 'borrowed' it from my daughters' house .....couldn't understand the title as she is THE most untidy person I know! So felt compelled to see if she had actually broken the spine of the book by opening it. She had! Well I was amazed! Anyhow... I'm reading it now...started in the bus home from her place which involves long walk and two buses, so plenty of time. I was so engrossed I missed my stop. This book is an eye -opener. Once read and advice followed all your kids will have no trouble with your pristine / de-cluttered home when you all ' pop-your-clogs'. I'm into the 'categorising ' stage and it is life -changing!!

I do know someone who hired a professional 'declutterer' to sort through their uncle's house after he died. She was VERY expensive apparently!

When my mother died it took me many months to go through all her things. She used to cut out articles about gardening from the newspaper and there were loads of boxes of them. They went straight into the recycling.

She also kept all my school reports. I hated school and was bullied. I shredded these as they felt too personal to put in the recycling. I wish she'd got rid of these so I didn't have to!

I try to go through my stuff from time to time, so whoever inherits my cr*p doesn't have to spend as long doing it.

Every one should consider Advance Care Planning is it important to discuss with our families what we would like if we become unwell. I often suggest to my patients that they 'prepare for the worst but hope for the best'.

Blueskies......simple - keep the ones from the man you eventually married - rip up the rest! Tie a ribbon round the saved ones and tuck them away with your Will or precious possessions and addressed to your kids to read once you and your husband have died.

What should I do with old love letters? I don't want anyone else to read them but how can I part with them.

Oh dear! If I'd started at 50 my house wouldn't be in the chaos it is now. I often feel too tired physically and/or mentally to sort anything. On a good day I go out which doesn't help. A bad day is worse I huddle and distract myself with online stuff ...
I'd better go now.

Actually, I think life rather helps you sort through things and clutter on various occasions.

Clearing my parents' home after my father died was a wake-up call and DH and I went through our attic afterwards and got rid of a lot of stuff we realised did not mean anything to us any more. When we moved five years ago, even more went out.

I've just gone through some family photos, sending a good deal to my cousins as the people in the photos were our mutual grandparents, great-aunts and uncles and their mother and my father etc. Intend to go through photos from the other side of my family sometime soon.

Apart from that we have decided from now on to try not to keep things on the odd chance that they will come in useful.

Anything we are fond of stays, unless we really can see that there is no point in keeping it.

My aunt had gone through all her things, and disposed of what she didn't want us to see of private letters and left the rest tidily marked with the name of the person she wanted to have it or thought might be interested. It did make clearing her flat easier, I must admit, but my sister and I felt a little saddened at the fact that a lot of things we would have liked to see again were no longer there.

I declutter and declutter and declutter. It all grows back in the night when I am asleep.

My mother refused to get rid of anything before she died and actually joked about us having to do it. I am disabled but was left to clear her 4 bedroom house Garage and attic. My partner was a bit of a hoarder and he had died 2 years before and I still don’t know what to do with half his stuff that the charity shops won’t take but are too painful to throw on a skip if no one wants them like his paintings. I am slowly decluttering
so my son does not have to go through what I did. Also making sure my bank details etc are all listed and when I have enough spare cash I’ll pay for my own funeral. It frees us all anyway because too much stuff can make you feel burdened

Isn’t going through possessions of loved ones after they’ve gone part of the grieving process. Finding those old mementoes that meant something once to someone or a favourite book. How cold and clinical most of you posters are. After my mother’s funeral I and my 3 siblings put all Mums smaller possessions into piles. Things that weren’t in her will, silver, glasses,pictures,nicnacks etc. We drew lots and took turns to choose from each category. We all had a choice of things that we would like and it prompted chats of memories and in a way was a bonding process for us. Obviously there were things that went to the charity shop. My brother arranged to take the lovely old wardrobe which he then repurposed into boxes and gifts for various family members. Somehow much gentler and kinder. We would have hated Mum to have disposed of everything. By the way my mother was Swedish.

Straight from the horses mouth this is, have lived in Sweden for fifty years next year, and havent heard of this but Swedes dont need to do this, they move about so much they de - clutter every time they move, and are so obsessed by keeping things tidy, they dont actually collect a lot of things. My lot are welcome to clear out when I pop off, I want to enjoy everything I have around me, hopefully for a few years, to hell with döstädning!

I wouldn't expect anyone to get rid of their things unless they wanted to.
If someone wants to make life easier for those who are left, that's great. But if their belongings make them happy, they should keep them.

I have had to clear belongings of dead relatives and never resented that they didn't make the task easier for me.