Same sex marriages now legal

You are clear in your opinions, mollie and have expressed them on a dignified fashion.

I'd love to be a 'fly on the wall' mcem it sounds an amazing day, lots of love and laughter, looking forward to hearing all the details as the plans progress.

Thanks anno. He's desperate to get his 'quilt' and we plan a fitting this week while on holiday from nursery. Equally keen to obtain a sporran since he heard that aunts and grans tend to pop pennies into the sporrans of handsome well-behaved boys. Lots of the lads in our family wear kilts for all sorts of occasions and he so wants to be like the uncles, cousins and granddads.

still reluctant to add to this thread as I hoped it had disappeared by now.
civil partnership - that was enough and it gave equality - marriage is between a man and a woman and I am not bigoted, homophobic or narrow minded before the accusations fly.
will sign off Gransnet until this thread has passed into history - please respect we are not all of the same opinion and our opinions are equally valid.
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What lovely happy news from you, mcem. What a wonderful occasion to look forward to - would love to see your 'quilted' GS. Mine looked a bit embarrassed in the same situation, but then he's English.

ENOUGH! Between this thread and the Mothering Sunday one I find myself blubbing in a way that's not like me at all. Sincere thanks for all the lovely comments ( and those which don't agree but are rational and not unkind!)
I must remind myself and inform you that my girls are 2 hard-working sensible and down-to-earth young women who are planning a happy and faithful future as well as a joyous and fun-filled family celebration. I know they won't read this and am glad as they'd no doubt tell me to get a grip and put the kettle on ( or wield a corkscrew) !!
Will enjoy posting progress reports.

Just flicked over to Facebook where I found a lovely Mother's day message from about-to-be-DiL. All the more touching as she lost her own mum a couple of years ago just after the girls annonnced their engagement.
They've chosen to have their civil partnership ceremony on her birthday in July.

Yes, something I can acknowledge this government got right. mcem, your posts on this thread have been a joy to read.
I don't have an issue with gay adopters and feel sure that if your daughter and her partner (will she be a wife? ) go on to adopt, some lucky children will find a loving and stable forever family.

roses I assure you that I would never think you thoughtless!

Love is what matters. It is not important how it expresses itself, whether it is sexual or not, whether people plan children or not, whether they are old or young........there is little enough love and loyalty to be found and I care not one whit who the participants in that love might be, as long as their relationship is honest and loyal, unexploitative and kind. It all adds to the sum of human happiness; and it is a joy that no honest love is degraded and no-one need feel persecuted.

I'm delighted that at last gay and lesbian couples can now get married. After thousands of years of persecution gay people are now to be treated like anyone else. Some of us are old enough to remember when being a homosexual was illegal, men were imprisoned for it. Did you know that a gay language had evolved so that some conversation could take place without ease droppers understanding. It was called palare [pronounce pa-lah-rah] and you would have heard it on Round the Horne with the famous Jules and Sandy, played by Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddock . Do you remember the phrase 'vada the eeks on that one' or 'lallies' etc.
It's wonderful at last. It won't stop the usual narrow minded but that is their problem , at least in the eyes of the law perfectly legal. Law abiding hard working couples of the same sex can get married and have families of their own like any other married couple.

I fully understand that many have reservations and willingly accept that there are carefully thought-out and objective views but when it comes to the happiness of my family I 'm not objective and neutral and don't accept that my daughter has to settle for less than what makes her happy. If one isn't emotionally involved it's easier to be objective.

Thank you. Roll on July! It isn't all roses as we've had the sisters falling out over the different roles in the wedding but with 4 beautiful GCs/ nieces and nephews in attendance ( including GS in his 'quilt' ) I 'm sure I'll be a proud mum and gran. A huge bonus has been the level of co-operation between ex-husband and super new wife and myself! By the way GS's quilt must have coloured squares which I think we can manage. The family of her other half is also well represented and even without a bridegroom we'll have a full turnout of brothers/cousins and friends looking great in kilts ( or quilts).

My comments on this subject are not thoughtless by the way, but just my reaction , I would not want to lie about it by agreeing[and indeed why should I?]

There are G'netters on here that feel strongly 'for' gay marriages, maybe for personal reasons, however they mustn't resent others for having mixed feelings about it all or indeed feeling just as strongly against it as they are 'for ' it. I am one who feels it is wrong, I feel that marriage is just for a man and a woman, though I did think it was high time for gay people to have civil partnerships, to have their recognition of their 'togetherness' and also the full legal backing. Homosexuals have been treated badly in this country for so long [and even worse in many other countries.]But for marriage [and also adopting children] then my considered view is a no.Marriage should be for a husband and bride not a husband/husband or bride/bride.However, it's law now, and has to be accepted, that doesn't mean that we all like it.

And so do I, mcem! You clearly have a lovely relationship with your daughter, and the celebration will be joyous, I am sure.

(Thoughtless comments can feel hurtful, but are usually just thoughtless, no more.)

mcem your daughter is so fortunate to have such a caring, loving and understanding mother. I hope that you all enjoy the happy day, whenever it is.

Granjura that's an interesting aside. We've had the conversation about babies and DD has told me that it's unlikely they'll provide more GCs for me. If however they have a rethink they'll consider adoption. When I asked why, she surprised me by saying that because she'd had such a good experience ( being adopted at 6 weeks of age) she felt she'd want to give something back. Cue wiping away a tear!

Relationships are fascinating, aren't they. I remember as a child sitting in on the grownups gossiping talking about a "spinster" (as they were in those days) whose mother encouraged the middle aged daughter's affair with a married man, because she knew that way the daughter wouldn't get married and leave home. The affair was common knowledge in the town where I grew up, but again, nothing was ever said. What made it stick in my mind (to this day!) is because all that sort of thing, affairs etc seemed so mysterious and daring to me as an 11 year old.

I was one of those kids that always hung around the grown ups = nosy!

Sorry bit off topic.

I've had mixed feelings about gay marriage, it doesn't somehow feel quite right. But, hey, we need more love in the world, and if it makes them happy then why not? So, - Good luck to all gay people who are getting married. (they are going to need, possibly, if it is anywhere near as difficult as heterosexual marriage!!!)

One of my mother's male cousin, and my dad's favourite sister, committed suicide because they were gay- wonderful and talented people both- hoe tragic. I wish all those finding happiness at last yesterday a very happy life together.

I do have mixed feelings about adoption by gay couples though, I have to admit.

In our family, my father's cousin was what was then known as 'a confirmed bachelor', a very good musician and an educationalist who was awarded a CBE for services to education, a very kind man who gave me sixpence for playing a tune on the piano for him - badly! His sister, a teacher, had a friend with whom she shared a house for many years - till death did them part. There is some dispute in the family about the nature of the relationship but I am sure that it was a 'partnership'. Sad that her brother couldn't or didn't have similar arrangement but I think it was more acceptable then for two single women to share a home than for two single men.

That's interesting grannyknot. In our family we had a dearly-loved aunt who was divorced after a brief and unhappy marriage. She had a lifelong friend, spent most of her time with her, went on holiday together even went abroad to work together for several years but latterly each lived with an elderly mother. Both mothers died within a short space of time and we asked if aunt and friend were considering sharing a home together. They wouldn't think of it because 'people would talk'.
My daughter who was very fond of her funny and slightly dotty aunt, is convinced that the 2 of them had a gay relationship although they didn't come out. I'm equally convinced that they didn't because it was simply unthinkable in their social circle.
Had they been of my daughter's generation I believe they might have done. I find it quite difficult to convince my daughter that she is so fortunate to have been born when she was, as she has choices and freedoms that earlier generations couldn't imagine.

We've got that in my family, mcem. One of my male cousins is gay and he dealt with it by leaving home and his country (South Africa) at the age of 17, he got a music scholarship first to the Royal Academy of Music, and from there he went to study and work in Germany and has been there ever since.

His parents were (only one is still alive) very conservative and over the years we have just accepted that he has "friends" and my aunt likes to say "He has never met the right woman". He seems happy enough on the rare occasions when I do see him, but he has achieved what happiness he has found by totally compartmentalising* his life. No one ever mentions the obvious, and I wouldn't want to upset him (or my aunt for that matter) by broaching the subject. So I take the "mind your own business" approach. But all of us cousins fully expect him to finally come out when his mother dies.

*if that's a word!

We have 2 very different personalities but absolutely sure of what they want. I've found it interesting when people ask what the girls will wear. When told that they've both opted for ivory dresses, the next question is always whether the dresses are the same or different? Next question usually concerns how they'll walk down the aisle. I haven't found any questions intrusive and everyone I've spoken to seems genuinely interested and supportive although it's a new experience for all of us. One exception who would prefer to politely ignore it, is an elderly, staunchly catholic couple who have never discussed the fact that their own daughter is gay. It's simply an issue which is not raised.