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Menopause

Sex after menopause

(111 Posts)
Mollyplop Sun 19-Aug-18 17:42:09

Hi i hope this ok to post, but I'm sure it will be removed if not! I had my last period about 3 years ago (I'm nearly 54). It seems to be something I can't discuss with my girlfriends but intercourse is now extremely painful to the point of being impossible. I have tried vaginal moisturiser but I don't think that the issue. It's as though things have "narrowed". It's like a taboo subject as if nobody is meant to have sex after 50! I'm experiencing a bout of depression at the moment so my libido is low but my OH and I have a loving relationship and is hate to think that it's over at such an early age. Sorry for the long post, but any advice would be most welcome.

Helennonotion Tue 21-Aug-18 16:30:56

Isn't this a great medium for discussing things like this! I have no problems whatsoever regarding comfort/moisture etc. I'm 59 and had my last period about 5 years ago. My problem is my libido is non existent, much to my husbands dismay!

We have a great relationship but its pretty thin in the physical dept. I did mention this to my GP a year or so ago but she kind of disregarded it and said its something nobody really talks about!

Once I stopped ovulating (which was the time of the month I always felt the most sensual) my libido just took a hike! What is this Livial, valeriej43? We are both retired now and all the children have left home, so we should be at it like rabbits yes? smile I just really really can't be bothered!

I remember listening to some older women many years ago, talking about how they pretend to be asleep when their husbands came to bed, so as not to have to 'perform'! I was horrified and vowed I would never ever feel that way. Funny how things change!!

Havemercy Tue 21-Aug-18 16:33:06

I really would recommend Vagifem - the tiny pessaries which you insert twice weekly. My female GP prescribed them when I kept having bladder infections. I now say (but only to trusted girlfriend and as a joke ) that I have the face and body of a 64 year old but the vagina of a twenty five year old!!!

Fennel Tue 21-Aug-18 17:09:01

Mollyplop - I hope you've been reassured by this thread that it's ok to talk about it and you can get help from your GP.
When I first joined here there were a few threads like this and it made me go back to the GP and ask for help. I had stopped Vagifem and had the same old bladder infections.
The doctor agreed - that was in France.

Greyduster Tue 21-Aug-18 18:35:08

I was prescribed Vagifem pessaries but sometimes I “lost”them (what goes up sometimes come down!), so they weren’t entirely satisfactory. Eventually I stopped using them. I started using Estriol cream a year ago and while there is no doubt it is not as convenient as Vagifem, it works better for me.

Mollyplop Tue 21-Aug-18 19:11:26

My doctor is pretty useless to be honest but I'm going to try some if the things suggested on here. It's already made me feel better knowing that other women have experienced the same problems.

glammagran Tue 21-Aug-18 19:31:22

I’m 63 and have suffered no loss of libido luckily following menopause at 51. I find Sensilube which you can buy from any chemist perfectly adequate. What was horrendous was the perimenopause years with really heavy periods, hot flushes, profuse sweating and headaches - my libido definitely went off-kilter then

storynanny Tue 21-Aug-18 20:20:56

Vagifem "pea shooters" ate amazing, no more sandpaper sex for me!

Mollyplop Tue 21-Aug-18 20:51:50

Sorry that wasn't very complimentary about my GP. To be fair they are so busy they just don't have the time for minor stuff like this.

Gaggi3 Tue 21-Aug-18 21:36:26

Oh, lovebooks, I to took HRT for ages and absolutely loved it until breast cancer forced me to stop. My libido was good and sex was not difficult or painful post menopause. Like you I began it for osteoporosis. I now have new aches and pains, thinning hair and feel the aging process far more. If medical opinion changed, I’d start taking it again tomorrow.

Day6 Tue 21-Aug-18 22:24:16

Vatican cream! Wonderful! grin I am seeing the Pope in my mind's eye every time I read it.

lemongrove Tue 21-Aug-18 23:00:11

Should it be applied using the rhythm method? wink

Iam64 Tue 21-Aug-18 23:02:01

Mollyplop, GPS are far too busy. However, painful intercourses, loss of libido etc isn’t minor imo

Coolgran65 Wed 22-Aug-18 00:48:04

lemongrove yes, using the rhythm method would be good - but where would you get a band at that time of night. ??? smile. smile

absent Wed 22-Aug-18 05:39:08

I wish there was. Someone tell Mr absent.

Mollyplop Wed 22-Aug-18 06:58:36

Coolgran65 LOL!!!

Menopaws Wed 22-Aug-18 10:03:52

With one three minute song!

Greyduster Wed 22-Aug-18 10:50:02

God, does it take that long these days??

Menopaws Wed 22-Aug-18 11:05:07

Only if there's no cricket on the tv

Menopaws Wed 22-Aug-18 11:36:02

Can't risk a wicket being taken at 1.5 minutes, the roar from the tv would be disastrous

Greyduster Wed 22-Aug-18 11:44:15

grin

Lilypops Fri 24-Aug-18 13:54:48

I usually manage a couple of rows of my knitting!!!

dahlia Fri 24-Aug-18 14:28:54

Picked up this thread and had the best laugh since my granddaughter told me she was going "Comanche": she meant "Commando" in that she had no pants on under her jeans! Only 5, so will allow such behaviour!

stephenfryer Sun 02-Sept-18 21:58:48

Vatican cream! A typo to treasure...

doristhegranny Fri 21-Sept-18 14:40:32

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mumofmadboys Fri 21-Sept-18 14:54:19

??!!