Any Devonians??

I'm a Devonian although I've lived in Dorset since 1987. Born and bred in Torquay but moved to Dorset as my then husband moved jobs.
I last visited Torquay in 2008 when my father died but haven't been back since (my mother died in 2007).
I'm not sure if I'd like to go back - I'm quite happy living in Poole now on my own.

We don't go back much now either since elderly family members died.

Ladyalice43

I have lived and worked in Plymouth for 50yrs and I love it here.

I like Plymouth. Where I worked before I retired people tended to be Exeter people and we're a bit sniffly about Plymouth. It's probably the place I feel most at home I. Devon. My husband's disabilities have got worse so we don't go very often now.

Lupatria

I'm a Devonian although I've lived in Dorset since 1987. Born and bred in Torquay but moved to Dorset as my then husband moved jobs.
I last visited Torquay in 2008 when my father died but haven't been back since (my mother died in 2007).
I'm not sure if I'd like to go back - I'm quite happy living in Poole now on my own.

For some reason I can't remember we went for a drive to Torquay on 31.12.20. Probably just stir crazy. As we stood there at midnight the liners sheltering on the bay sounded their horns. I don't know how many there were but it looked a bit like a full carpark. As the horns sounded one after another it was a very moving moment, it was their thank you to Torquay for their support. I will always remember that.

East Anglian by birth, but having lived in Devon for nearly thirty years, I now can't imagine being anywhere else. The grandchildren who used to complain about long journeys when they came to see us have all expressed horror whenever we mentioned a move "up country"

I was born in Plymouth, parents moved to Kent when I was young and I now live in London.

I’m from the South Hams - Torcross /Slapton Sands

Kernow bys vykken!

ShihTzuDad may be back in a minute to tell us he lives in Surrey 😂

My mother used to describe herself as "cornish" and tell me "You're half-Cornish" and by Cornwall she meant a "country - not a county". Cue for me promptly telling her "We're both English mother" and reminded of that by the fact that we knew one word of Cornish between us - ie Kernow.

Journeys across the bridge to Cornwall resulted in my mother perking up visibly and me subsiding back into my seat waiting to come back across the county boundary into Devon. My mother was born in Plymouth actually and wanted to go back there - but it wasnt for me. I like most of Devon and it's the county that suits me best per se in the country....if only because I can freely say what I think without wondering if someone feet away will walk over and verbally "whack me one" for something perfectly ordinary I've just said LOL. You don't realise what you've taken absolutely for granted in many ways - until you move out of an English university city and have to start watching who is nearby before you open your mouth. The whole "Can I speak at normal reasonable volume or do I have to put my voice down or I might get leapt on because a stranger nearby is listening". I still struggle to get my head round that sort of thing happening ....it just never did happen in Devon - not once....

Hatcham

Kernow bys vykken!

Jam or cream first?

I was always told it was cream on top - which I think is the Cornish way I believe.

Logical to me - as one puts clotted cream on puddings after the pudding itself has been dished out. Anyway - I am quite capable of eating a whole tub of clotted cream all on its own.

I went to school in Torquay and now live on the outskirts of Newton Abbot in a village. We travel extensively in our motorhome and have seen some lovely places both in the UK and Europe. It always makes me smile when we reach the Welcome to Devon sign. It is a beautiful County and I feel very lucky to live so close to beautiful beaches and glorious Dartmoor. For me it’s home.

It is beautiful and romantic.
I spent several summer holidays in North Devon as a child/teenager. I rode ponies along the beach near Woolacombe enjoyed the hedgerows and swimming in the sea.

I love where I live (south of Edinburgh) but I imagine Devon is a very good place to live.

theworriedwell: I had gone to bed early on NY Eve 2020 (DH was in his home in France) but was awoken by the sounds of the cruise ships' horns at midnight and found it very comforting. They also sounded them on Remembrance Sunday to mark the start and finish of the Two Minutes' Silence.

Some locals put together Christmas hampers for the crews onboard those ships who hadn't been home for several months. These were very gratefullly received by crews marooned on them. Some enterprising owners of boats normally used for local trips took people out on tours to view the ships at close range.

theworriedwell

Well that's interesting. I'm not allowed to hate where I live. That's fascinating.

If it’s any solace I hated living in Devon too. So unfriendly to newcomers, I was there for over 30 years and never felt at home. As soon as I was widowed I hightailed it for the North.

Born in Torquay, come back to after lots of travelling. Love it here the best of both seaside walks and countryside.

Dempie we sound similar. My husband is disabled and nearly 80 and I feel awful that if I think of him dying, like recently when he had pneumonia, instead of feeling devastated I think I'll be able to sell up and head north.

Ashcombe

*theworriedwell*: I had gone to bed early on NY Eve 2020 (DH was in his home in France) but was awoken by the sounds of the cruise ships' horns at midnight and found it very comforting. They also sounded them on Remembrance Sunday to mark the start and finish of the Two Minutes' Silence.

Some locals put together Christmas hampers for the crews onboard those ships who hadn't been home for several months. These were very gratefullly received by crews marooned on them. Some enterprising owners of boats normally used for local trips took people out on tours to view the ships at close range.

I found it very moving. Chills on my spine. I didn't manage a boat trip, DH is disabled and travel sick so we don't do it.

I think living here is affecting my mental health. I agree with Dempie it is very unwelcoming. When we moved here our immediate neighbours on both sides made complaints about us to the council. It got so bad the council sent a group of councillors to meet us and inspect our privately owned house.

Well a minibus pulled up and the councillors got out. Bit icy atmosphere. We chatted and they looked round. I do hope the neighbours were lurking behind the fences and heard the councillors laughing about their nonsense.

I can't be too frank as I think it would get deleted but I think my husband's lovely year round tan is a factor as the neighbours attitude changed as soon as they saw him.

Thirty years on we have a lovely young family opposite but our two immediate neighbours are still here, polite but that's it.

Horrible feeling such negativity.

Dempie55

theworriedwell

Well that's interesting. I'm not allowed to hate where I live. That's fascinating.

If it’s any solace I hated living in Devon too. So unfriendly to newcomers, I was there for over 30 years and never felt at home. As soon as I was widowed I hightailed it for the North.

I never noticed any unfriendliness to newcomers myself - though I am a Devonian myself. But I have my doubts I'd have been treated in an unfriendly way anyway if they hadnt known that as I didn't come over as obviously Devonian - as I havent got the accent and mine is a very neutral voice.

What I'm guessing at is it's possibly friendlier "up North" - to anyone. When I lived further up country briefly I did notice people being less reserved than we are and it was something I liked - ie friendly conversation with a stranger sitting on your restaurant table or a group of friends joining your group of friends for impromptu kicking a ball around. So - when I realised I couldnt afford my "forever home" house in my own area = a point in favour of the north was "friendlier people up there"....but basically I decided against it for being too cold for me (I remember distinctly from a long weekend there one time that it was "Two jumpers colder" than my area).

Gran22boys

Do we REALLY need all these new houses? I don’t know anyone who can’t find a house for sale. On the other hand, the new developments seem to fill up quickly. I just wonder where everyone is coming from?

Yes we very much need LOT of new houses but sadly they are building the wrong houses. We need affordable houses and large bungalows for disabled people who cannot find suitable housing. Some will need several bedrooms for all their equipment and their living in carer. The Government and councils do not appear to understand what we need and just give planning permission for these townhouses and 4 bedroom house popping up everywhere with every facility you can imagine. (I would love a bungalow like that) I live in East Devon and love it blew in to Devon 50 years ago and have not looked back. I love everything about it.

There are slightly different social mores in different parts of the country. One of the plus sides of my own city there is "There is no 'reserve' to break through and prove you're 'one of us' at a social gathering" and hence I'll still chat to anyone without waiting for them to "prove themselves". If they have one view different to mine I think "Well that's one view - they've probably got others that are the same as mine. We don't all think the same....so let's just wait and see if I think they're basically generally a decent person" (though that may be partly down to I'm from the University city and universities are supposed to be about debate and different views).

Where I am now - I've learnt there has to be a degree of reserve on my part until I've figured them personally out and I look over my shoulder before saying something there's nothing wrong with and speaking quite freely about it - here I look over my shoulder first to assess if there's someone nearby that might do the "taking offence" thing. Reason being I've learnt that someone who is not in a conversation I'm having will come over and verbally jump in and shout at me!!!!!!!!! if they don't like what I'm saying. I've not forgotten (or forgiven) an episode years back where all I was saying to the (very local) person I'm on friendly terms with was a comment about the budget of a local Council - and a stranger emerged from the next room and yelled at me/stomped out/even made a complaint about me (!!!!!!!). Errr hello....since when am I not allowed apparently to discuss the local Council's budget? Of course I am. It's my Council - so my democratic right. So I've learnt a degree of "translation" is required - as when I say "country" here people think I mean Wales - but I still mean "Britain" and when I say "government" I don't mean the Senedd. There was lots of mutual puzzlement soon after I moved here when a woman bombed in confidently to where I was doing voluntary work and said "I'm here from the Government" and I think she eventually realised the reason for the puzzled look I doubtless had on my face was I was there thinking "That's a long way to come - all the way from London - just to ask us a few things". She finally clicked and told me who she was from (ie the Senedd) and I then thought "Ah right....that's not so far then...she's talking about Cardiff".

What you may be interpreting as Devon unfriendliness is the reverse side of me wondering why a stranger leapt into MY conversation (and was downright rude in that) because our social mores are more along the line of we expect anyone wanting to join one of our conversations with someone else to non-verbally request "permission to join please". I hadnt realised that we do that until I moved here (where it doesnt happen) - as I'm used to thinking "I'd like to join that conversation" and then going and hovering within a pretty close distance (about 2' ??) and smiling at both parties in a hopeful friendly fashion and then I get "the nod" and they both look at me and make space for me to join them and smile and that's my "permission" granted and I join in accordingly. So I don't think it's unfriendliness - it's that we're used to people "asking our permission to join in conversation" and then we let them in so to say and treat them just the same - even if they've just rocked up in Devon. We don't then chuck them back out just for having a different viewpoint to us. But our plus side is most of us don't think someone who has moved from elsewhere in Britain doesn't have "speaking rights" and we accept that they have the same "speaking rights" as we do. We don't put people through "probationary period and speaking in our personal politically correct fashion" before they're "granted speaking rights".

That "asking permission" thing must have been so automatic to me that I wasnt even aware I was doing that/was very used to doing that.

Hence I get very puzzled if it feels like I'm being expected to express a particular local set of views before it's accepted I have "speaking rights". Devonian me thinks that as soon as physical space has been made for me/I've been nodded at or smiled at in greeting = right...I've got my "speaking rights" now....

Another incident here was a woman coming in where I was volunteering and full of confident smile/full of herself and I think she was obviously pretty oblivious to the fact I was probably gawking in astonishment - as her clothes proclaimed VERY loud and clear that she was in the local Hunt/a supporter of hunting and I don't think she clicked for one minute I was astonished at the way she was dressed - as I'm used to no-one ever wearing fur/supporting hunting/etc and she was being extremely confident in openly doing so - whereas where I'm from those clothes would have been thrown out in the rubbish within minutes before I caught anyone looking at them in puzzlement.

Cariad your experience of Devon is very different to mine. As an example I'm in local supermarket the morning after Brexit vote. We go into the little cafe and DH sits down and I join the queue to get us a drink. Woman in front of me turns round and says isn't the vote result wonderful, we can keep them out pointing to DH. I said he's my husband. She sort of sorted in disgust and turned her back on me. I'm sure she'd have been charming if id agreed with her. Or there's my friend whose child started school and was "laughingly" referred to as "the only ethnic in the village" this was when Little Britain was at its peak. They moved out of Devon.

There's the times we've been ignored as people got served who were behind us in the queue, or the old man who pointed at DH and shouted, "bet he's ISIS."

I mean why aren't I loving it here?

I shared an office with a local who hunted, it does happen in Devon.

I think the difference there is you probably living in a more remote part than me (you said you are in a village). Being in a university city (which is where I spent the vast majority of my time) meant people were used to a wide variety of people - so I've never ever even noticed any "incidents" I can recall - as I think we were all used to large contingent of Arabs (my first few boyfriends were all Arabic) and another large contingent of Chinese. I had to take in lodgers for my first few years after finally managing to buy a starter house and the rollcall of them felt a bit like a United Nations. There are things that would upset me - but I never noticed any whilst I was there. Trying to change my culture against me would result in them finding out I had a temper - but, as long as no-one ever tries that = then 95% of people will continue not to realise I have a temper/two tempers - one Celtic and one Viking LOL.

Probably why I'm not used to hunt supporters either - again because of being in a university city - and so I can only recall one incidence of a blind date revealing I was inadvertently going out with a hunt supporter (funnily enough - that was the first and last date with him. Though I was also counting it against him that he was a property developer). But I could feel very confident that anyone I was talking to would be anti-hunt automatically. Hence the property developer had no chance with me - as that's a "red flag" issue.

So I'd say that boils down to things being a bit different in urban and rural areas - and not a "Devon thing" per se.

Stuff can happen anywhere I guess - and I do remember my astonished reaction when I was walking round a "naice" village there (mentally checking it out in case I could ever afford it - I never could #sighs) and a female resident came out and had an offish attitude to me and I'm obviously English/could pass as German or Icelandic until I open my mouth. I think it was an "You arent middle class enough to live here" attitude she was having - and I was more amused than anything by it (as I didnt think anyone could mistake me for anything else and so I decided she was obviously pretty unobservant and the only reason I couldnt live in those two villages I particularly like are they are basically well beyond my price range - because of their "price premium" for being naice).