Fed up of worrying about money.

Why are people so fixated on how much they spend on presents for their DGC?

I doubt if the children unwrap presents with a calculator at hand to work out how much each present cost. The little ones will neither know nor care, the older ones should be able to understand that you are on a restricted income and appreciate that whatever they receive is given with love.

One of my DGM was on a very tight income. I loved her totally and the last thing I did was tally the cost of her present and compare it with what I received from my other, better off grandparents. I was much more concerned about making my pocket money stretch to a present for her.

sarahellenwhitney, I found your post embarrassing. I am sure Bopeep is already spending carefully. Her problem, from everything she says, is lack of money, not extravagant spending

If you are struggling and making a teabag last two cups, being told to cut back on champagne is not helpful.

Don’t buy for adults! Kids will not remember what they have been given. But may remember a token gift and then card and promise to take them to cheap showing at cinema/park walk collecting leaves for collage/baking biscuits/creating a story book.
Also. All the tat bought at this time of year is used for a minute and then binned. More plastic in our environment!

It's human nature to want nice things and a credit card defers actually having to pay for them, hence credit is very seductive. The temptation is so great, it's what drives people to spend way over their budgets and to accumulate debt.

Like everything else in life, money has to be managed responsibly. Sit down with H and come up with a realistic budget and a spending plan that includes bringing down debt and putting money aside regularly....those two things should be a priority.

Having said that, holidays are a difficult time to stick to a budget, so why not make it a New Year's resolution instead? For now, put a limit on how much you plan to spend on gifts. Consider inexpensive, more thoughtful items such as framed family photos, handmade gifts by you or H, movie tickets, books, music, etc.

Having a plan and sticking to it, can alleviate much of the worry. Hope this helps and my best to you this holiday season

I would never buy a Christmas hamper. Yes, it does spread the cost of Christmas food, but you could buy the same goods much more cheaply in a supermarket. If you don't trust yourself to put the 'hamper' money into a savings account each month why not buy the savings stamps that some shops offer? Putting away a certain amount each month is a much cheaper option than investing in expensive hampers (not to mention the fact them one company went bust, some years ago, and everyone lost the money they had saved)

Bopeep, as you are not working is your OH getting tax relief? Would it be possible for you to get a part time job? It would give you something to interest you and might help the cash flow.
Does your OH give you a regular amount or do you have any income of your own e.g. pension? I wonder if some of this worry comes from being totally dependant on your OH.
I must admit I have become really stingy this year. I can't eat lots of Christmas food as am diabetic and am using the old artificial tree that have had for 10 years. Not just a money thing but also an ecology issue. Also what is the New Year going to bring? My DGD needs new boots for school. Etc,etc.

Once we had children my Wife was a stay at home Mum. We moderated our consumption to suit.

Her good sense with our money means we're never broke. The credit card company stopped emailing its reminders so we set-up her automated calendar reminders to pay the bill IN FULL on the 18th of each and every month. We did not use this failure in their service to run up CC debts.

Even for our kids she would never borrow money. Instead we taught our kids not to be slaves to labels and fashion.

One of our daughters now has three children and she proudly runs a logo-free household. With her husband she teaches her children how to argue the case for no logos so the would be bullies know how soft in the head they are.

Our sons in law, though, expect their wives to work outside the home so they have more cars and larger homes than us.

Live without logos.

For those of us asking about the spending app:

www.google.co.uk/search?q=spending+tracker+ios&oq=spending+tracker+ios&aqs=chrome..69i57.9704j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Skweek1 - your 'spirit in the sky' is also known as the British taxpayer

Quite Greta8

always worrying about money. lets see theres me with roughly £79 a week .paying rent and bedroom tax (£60)(that £102 a month. then theres gas and eletricity£25 a month(i dont put heating on ,just a convector heating in the evenings and hot water 2 hours on a sunday evening) you think i'm joking i'm not) then theres broadband and phone £28, mobile £10.life insurance.£12 oh and food about £50 a week.so that leaves £53 a month for a trip to my brother at the south coast and not much else.food i always get sell by date oh and i forgot cat food .for unwanted black cat.so maybe £10 a week for cat..fussy cat..and renal disfunction.leaves me with £33 for other groceries/luxouries(spelt wrong). why dont i move to smaller flat. em i cant afford to and theres not any around this area anyway........oh and am paying back my brother £50 for a holiday .1st holiday i had in 20 yrs.so i have - about £15 each month.so i have to make do with less food.(smiles)

meant to say £50 a month for holiday.

Why dont you tell people you are not in a position to buy gifts, they will understand? You say you are not poor so on what do you spend your money? I live on a very modest pension and budget for Christmas. for instance buy one second class stamp from lst week in January for Christmas cards and put away a fixed sum every week without fail, works very well for me.

Loopy loo no unfortunately I can’t get a job I look after grandchildren 6 days a week, while there parents are at work. The only day I get free is Sunday. I can’t remember the last time I bought any new Christmas ornaments the tree I have is at least 10 years old, still debating if I am going to put it up this year. I am in control of the money that’s why it worries me so much, I know exactly how much we don’t have at the end of the month. I like the idea of buying gift cards throughout the year. Glad to know I am not alone.

Bopeep if you are doing 6 days a week childcare you are giving your children the equivalent of many thousands of pounds every year!
Do you get anything back for that?
Has anybody worked out what nursery fees or child minding costs would be?
I just hope they are grateful! You deserve an enormous present for that!

Bopeep, you are a star.
Re. Christmas decorations, not sure how old your grandchildren are but could they help you make decorations? We have made lots this year. Not only save money but save the world. Win win.

Bo Peep You are a treasure looking after your GC all week every week,I'm sure you family fully appreciate all you do and won't be expecting any lavish gifts, your time is the most precious gift you could give them.❤️

Money is a worry no matter how much you do or don't have, I'm currently sat here with a coffee and a calculator working out how much I don't have left to spend between now and Christmas! ?

Childcare 6 days a week!? What on earth do your children do for a job? That sounds to me as if they work shifts. In which case. I assume that you are doing childcare when one is at home. You should stop doing that.

I am beginning to feel uneasy about this thread.

Monica, why are you beginnig to feeling uneasy about this thread? No my children dont work shifts although why i have to explain myself to you i dont know but i will. One grandchild i look after 4 days a week and also his older brother on a saturday as his mum works in retail and works Saturdays his dad also works full time, which includes saturdays. I also look after a 1 year old monday to friday as both his parents work. I also look after school age grandchildren in the holidays, Some days during the holidays i can have up to 5 children in a day. Thankfully all the cousins get on great. Nursery fees are so expensive, and one fantastic thing about looking after them is i get to know them. Its very tiring but its worth it.

They should still be recompensing you for all the hours you put in.
You really should tell them you struggle with not having enough money to live comfortably and they should help out.
You are saving them a fortune.

MawBroom no nobody has actually worked out how much i have saved them, i offered when my first grandchild was born and what you do for one child you have to do for the others. Luckily my other grandchildren go to nursery and are looked after by there other grandma. Jobey 68 they do appreciate what i do. I have told them i am retiring in two years so no more grandchildren please?

Bopeep14 I know what you mean about the Xmas tree. But yesterday while in Morrisons we got a 3ft tree for £1.80. It might not be brilliant but we got the Dgc to decorate it and it looks lovely.

Threads like this just serve to illustrate how important it is for all of us to start preparing for retirement in plenty of time.

It's becoming increasingly clear that we shouldn't expect to rely on the state pension to be our only source of income. It is only intended to be a top up, so it's essential for everyone to start planning for retirement decades before.

This is our time to do what we want and to have a decent standard of living.

After all, if we can't treat ourselves in retirement then when can we?

moggie57
Your figures don't add up.

I have very little money,not had heating on for years and meals are rather sparse but I do save a few pounds each week with Park to get a nice hamper for Christmas, I know I couldn’t save it each week because I would be putting it elsewhere but it is nice in November when my hamper comes and I can eat well, probably does cost extra but worth it

I make it you are overspent by £147 a month Moggie ??