Sorry, Martin, I won't be going in for any of that stuff. Sounds like a recipe for multiple disasters to me.
I'm thinking of asking for a non-contactless card also.
I always use a shoulder bag with the strap across my body, nowadays, as I am sure that tensing up one shoulder to carry a bag contributed to my getting an agonizingly sore shoulder a few years ago.
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I've opted for a non-contactless card!!
How do you attach them to your bag or purse?