Help calm me. house buying and selling stress. Part 5

I agree with all the posters re early eighties and people losing their jobs and being put on short time etc. I was a single parent at that time and was made redundant twice over a period of 3 years. It was a time when Maggie Thatcher was in power and no-one in this area had a kind word to say about her.
Luckily my mortgage was very low but I still remember only going shopping once a fortnight when my dole giro came through the post. I hated going to town and seeing things in shop windows that I could no longer afford to buy. This feeling was also mixed up with being a single parent (not my choice) whereas if I had still been married I would have been able to afford the small extras, nothing extravagant.
You think at the time that nothing is going to improve, it does but I will always look back at that time and shudder.

That is a super high DFS recommendation Franbern

It`s the relentless heat, that alone enforces a lockdown, I am hiding in a dark cave.

It is the past that made us what we are now. Our first house, when mortgages were ramping up and up, 1971, nice new build at the end of a close, we could not even afford a lawn mower for the grass at the front and only husband was working, new baby. We decided to sell after 6 months,we were so out of our comfort zone financially, it was the era of gazumping and we accepted the first offer, we were so naive. We were offered more by others but kept the moral high ground. We went from a detached 4 bed to a 3 bed semi and by golly that rescued us and our finances and I helped by minding 2 children

Today is all about pulling the belt tighter, it was easier for us, that is how we were brought up. Today the equivalent generation has been brought up on costa coffees and mobile phone payments. They are learning a very hard lesson, very quickly

It means a lot to hear that others have been through similar times and makes it a little easier to be able write my thoughts down as I feel I've got to be so upbeat to them and not let them know I'm upset for them

Great news Ellianne, and that they will be able to become mortgage free - that does make a huge difference. So, it seems to be working out well.

My daughter and hubbie in Weston are mortgage free, and she keeps telling me not to worry, her redundancy money, etc will carry them through a few months, and they could get to the end of the year without going into savings, and she will certainly have another job by them.

All my children know that whereas I could loan them a small sum of money for an emergency - it would always have to be a loan and repayment made.

Harrysgran - I am so dreadfully sorry for you son. Tell them to hang on for a while though, things can change. Back in the early 70's we were in this position. Could not wait to get out of the old victorian house we had, and put down a deposit on a branch new build (off plan), so watched it being built. Then hubbie lost his job.

I can remember the total devastation I felt then. We had no-one who could help us. I felt we were falling into a bottomless pit. (I can remember my best friend saying to me that I was more worried about that than about the new baby I was expecting).

Hubbie kept saying something would sort itself out. He was out of work for about three or four months, but finally got a new job and we were able to go ahead. But can remember that time still now and can so feel for anyone going through it.

Do stay with us on the thread, we have all been through such difficult times with house buying/selling and often the only thing that has got us through those times have been our virtual friends here, So, do not be afraid of sharing your feelings and emotions here. We cannot do much to help but can give virtual hugs, etc.

I cannot speak highly enough of DFS. I only wrote to them last week, and it is all sorted out for me now. Would recommend them very very happily. Brilliant customer service.

Thank you for your comforting words Franbern. So sorry to hear about your daughter, what a blow, I hope she finds another job soon. I have nothing to complain about in comparison it is just the blues, as well as panic attack type chest pains today, I'm sure it's just stress. I have worked hard today to get my paperwork in order and am just having a break, then back to it. I've finally found our cinema refund from Jan 2019, we'd searched everywhere, it had got caught inside a book. Hope my finding this returns your garage remote to you!

I'm glad to say my daughter has replied and she's going on the train, then the boat.

I've found a big diary I'd bought for my house hunting and will be starting tomorrow, in a very organised manner. I'm mad the laptop screen has broken and will buy a laptop tomorrow, I went cross eyed looking at the choices - my budget is £500 - some of the prices are astounding.

I wont' be buying a leather sofa when I move, it's like sitting on a handbag

Yes, craftyone, I noticed far more camper vans and cars full of people this weekend. I think June will be unusually busy with beachgoers who feel they need to get in now before the holidaymakers are allowed back on campsites and holiday parks in July/August. Those who hadn't already booked the summer weeks won't stand a chance.

*sniffer??? oops ..... an offer

Mondays always seem to be bumpy. Sorry to hear about your son's redundancy news harrysgran and your backward thinking thoughts Shandy. Your 2 year old will have you fit in no time, Whiff.
Yes, Franbern, our DD had 17 viewers booked in. By number 10 she had had sniffer from buyers in a favourable position so accepted and cancelled the last two days of viewings. You know what it is like there Franbern with people wanting to move outside of London city but still wanting to be on the tube to get into work. She is getting rid of the mortgage which will give them time to re establish themselves as they are both self employed. The house they are buying is totally different too.

Thanks craftyone for replying I did say to them not to give up hope just yet as things could change for them

Franbern feel free to disagree with me we are friends here and we all have our own views on life. When you think about what we all have been through not just moving but life in general. It would be awful if we all agreed with each other also that's not what friends do. I know how much you and everyone on here has kept me going since I first joined this thread. Glad DFS man was nice and you are all sorted. Glad your son in law has his special bike. Especially as he has been isolated for so long. Bet it did him the world of good mentally and physically.

Shandy57 things are tough for a lot of people but you must keep your money to yourself. You will be amazed how much you spend not just buying a new home but on doing the things to make it as you want. You need to think long term about where you want to live. And think in terms of summer and winter. Touristy places are out as they will be very busy during the holidays. You need not to be to isolated either. Thing long term what you will need for the next 5-10 years. Think about things like what happens if you can't drive anymore or walk long distances. It's a scarey time. I always loved my bungalow but worried incase the neighbours weren't nice or couldn't get a good GP or hospital services. Luckily I needn't have worried. My nearest town call it a town but really it's a village but the size of a town if that makes sense. Think about what you would like to do socially. Joining sit fit, craft group and U3A has make me new friends. Just hope we will still be able to do all that again soon.

Look forward not back. You have a whole to life ahead of you. My son still hasn't been in touch since that email 4 th. His loss .

Having a great time at my daughter's. Realised how unfit I am after a hour in the park chasing a 2 year old. Should be fitter by the time I go home.

and the hours increased, they all pulled together and somehow the company survived

so sorry harrysgran, I was listening to the radio earlier, it looks as though there will be a huge number of redundancies later this month. It reminds me of the 70s/80s when it happened to so many workers. My husband was under great stress at that time, he came home and said that they had voted to take 50% of pay with immediate effect and the company would try not to make anyone redundant. It was an horrific time, we all had mortgages.

Not sure if this is correct thread but I'm just sitting with the thoughts in my head my son has just rang to say the house they were buying won't now be happening as he received a phone call this morning telling him he is being made redundant I'm devastated for them but unfortunately Im not in a position to help them financially I'm not expecting sympathy as in the great scheme of things at the moment worse things are happening to people

Franbern that is a great advertisement for DFS!
Shandy try a map with a pin! Chin-up you are on the up now.
Hope everyone has a lovely day.???

Lovely DFS man (complete with mask and gloves) has been and gone. It appears as if that back was no in correctly by removal men. He took it off, put it on and all is well. Asked him how I pay - and he laughed and said there was no charge. Evidently DFS have a two year guarantee in any case, and no irparts were required.

Shandy not Shan’t!!

Shan’t , I totally get the fact that you are having seller’s remorse re the sale of the station! When we sold our first house, a semi with small rooms, and bought a detached house with larger rooms my reaction was “what have we done?” Suddenly I didn’t want to move at all!
34 years later we sold that house and moved to London and when we had a firm offer on our house I was speaking to my lovely neighbour and she asked how I was feeling and I blurted our”I’m gutted”. And I was!
It’s natural to have doubts but everyone following your journey on here knows, as you do, that selling the station was the right thing to do. The bills for another winter there would have broken you mentally and financially.
You will come through this when you have a new house settled.

Re DFS I must say that this was uplifting news today, I hope it gets sorted, full marks to them and Franbern, your dd needs you as much as you need her

Whiff, I am thinking of you and the upheaval, it will be over soon

Shandy, this problem of your son`s is a test for him. Sorting it out for himself will make him grow stronger. I did loans to our son and a dd once and I did the paperwork to go with them, I made them formal and gave them a standing order plan for paying it back. Tbh, I thought that one or other of your children would mention money once you had the cash in the bank, stick to your guns, you need every penny.

Mentally I knew that if I had not been paid back in full, then the will would reflect the loan plus interest. I also did the same for a dd and she paid me back early but the paperwork is very important, signed paperwork first and then the transfer if there is no other way

Shandy you need to get your property skates on, the buying process should be well under way by early summer ie early july. You will have late summer to autumn to get any jobs done on it, assuming that the transaction goes smoothly. Time and tide is not waiting for you

I would say that any tourist areas in cornwall, devon, somerset and dorset should be avoided. The local papers are full of pictures of the mass input of vehicles and people. I am afraid this includes all the accessible beach areas, they are heaving right now

None of us have the 100% perfect situation, as we are finding out now in these extreme circumstances. I would have liked more shops in walking distance but on the upside I have countryside 10 minutes away when I cycle. None of us knew that taking buses would be a no-no right now. I would not move from herebtw, I love it, the house, garden and my neighbours. Compromise is needed shandy. You really should be at the making offers stage

Shandy, sorry to hear how low you are feeling, but I do understand that. You must be worried about your son and his employment, but - hopefully, something will come along for him

The daughter in Weston has now been made redundant and is also looking for another job, She is the only wage earner at home as my Son in Law is very disabled. He is usually the house husband, but for the past months has been isolating in their bedroom, etc. My daughter has re-discovered her ability to shop and cook for the family. I do hope she gets a job for the start of the school year, and know I will not be really relaxed until she does, although she keeps telling me not to worry and they can manage.

Oh dear Shandy, post selling blues........no idea why you think you should have hung on to that money pit for any longer. Whatever, anyone may have said in the past, eighteen months is a LONG, LONG time in (what was) the house market. Re-read your own entries into these threads and remind yourself of the nightmare you were having.

Part of the problem is that you are now so apprehensive about the next stage. Scared of staying where you are, scared of moving away - no real idea as to where or what you want to move to. It is a scary time in every way, and this is making it all even worse for you.

Hate to use the term 'pull yourself together', - BUT you really do need to stop hanging on to the past - and look to the future.

You are also, probably, finding time hanging on your hands a little now. For the last several weeks you have been so busy getting everything ready and out of The Station, it was a daily part of your life - and that has all gone.

So, you need to plan (in the same way as you did for that daily), to really get down to the job of finding what and where you are going to live. Set time aside each day for this and just get on with it.

Sure your daughter will eventually get in contact with you. She is also embarking on a new venture and is probably feeling apprehensive also. Wearing a mask will protect other people from her - not the other way round. Is she flying or going be ferry? Sure either will keep good social distancing rules in place.

Hope Luckygirl gets some good news this morning.

Ellianne, has your daughter sold her house in London? if so, she can really start to be making plans for her move.

Whiff, hope you did not mind my comment to you, sure you did not mean how it came out. Hope you have recovered well from your hospital procedure.

Wonder how many new house sellers/buyers will be joining this thread in the coming weeks/months - will be different for them than it was for us, back in the Pre-CV19 days.

Morning everyone, hope you all have this lovely sunshine. My poor dog is far too hot.

I'm feeling a bit down today, my son rang last night and he is very worried about money, and getting another job - I think I told you he stopped taxi driving and gave the car back. He had sold his own car to pay his debts off, so is now without one. He is getting Universal credit which covers his rent. His anxiety is high, he is waiting to hear if he'll get an interview for a postman job. I did just use to give him money in the past and stopped as it wasn't helping him, but we agreed I would 'loan' him money if he needed it. He didn't ask, and I didn't offer. He'll be 27 in late June.

I texted my daughter afterwards wishing her a safe journey and she hasn't replied, I hope she wears her mask.

I am wondering if I was too impatient with the house sale, it was only eighteen months. Sorting through the paperwork last night I found a letter from my estranged Dad - he had advised me to be patient as he waited four years to sell his house. I think the difference for me was the age of the house, I could see the deterioration happening in front of my eyes and the thought of the cost of the repairs frightened me.

Thanks for listening. I think lockdown is getting to me, and I've been watching too much news.

Have a good day whatever you are doing

NOBODY deserves to get ill!!! Sorry Whiff, I cannot go along with that sort of statement.

Outdoors is far safer and less likely to pass on any infection. Outdoors has lots of other health benefits. Wonder how many of those on the beaches do not have their own outdoor space. Anyway, from what I actually SEE here (not newspaper false photos), even on the beach, everyone is very carefully staying well away from other family groups.

More of a problem with the queues at the very few kiosks open for drinks, etc. and I have no idea what they are doing regarding loss.

When I trundled along the Prom late morning yesterday (very low tide), the beaches were fine. What did worry me was the two adults, both with small children who had taken them way, way past the large warning signs and were right out on the mud. Highly dangerous.

My Son in Law had done some crowd funding to purchase a special wheelchair cycle, this had taken some time but he had finally got the money just before lockdown started. The special bike was delivered after he went into Shielding. My daughter managed (no idea how) to get this upstairs to their bedroom for him, and over the past few weeks he has been using it as an exercise bike there. Yesterday, he took it outdoors for the first time along with their 10-year old on his bike and they went for a 10 mile ride, all on cycle paths. Both thoroughly enjoyed this - AND it gave my daughter a break from having to take that lad for a cycle ride.

Today I am expecting a visit this morning from DFS. When the removal men put back together my two seater recliner sofa, they did not do so properly and there seems to have been one connection damaged or lost. Did not notice this as had had a large throw over the back of it for sometime. When I took that off recently, I could see there was something wrong. There is a gap in the middle at the back. No good contacting the removers after so long, so I sent a letter to DFS explaining it all (acknowledging I would need to pay for a proper repair). Amazingly, they phoned me as soon as they received that letter, (last Friday), and are coming this morning, so I am already up and dressed ready for them.

Still glorious weather here, although think the ground could do with a lot of rain. Too hot for me to go out in the afternoon, even onto my balcony, but thanks to lots of windows - all wide open and many kept open at night, my Living room is lovely to sit in, although did have the fan on there for a short time early evening yesterday.

Those all crowded on beaches deserve to get ill. What on earth do they think they are doing. How many life's have they put at risk. Have they forgotten why we're beem in lockdown. Same goes for the protesters. It's a just cause but why risk people's lives.

definitely am watching a movie this afternoon in an hour, little women on 32

Have you see the 000s packed like sardines on the beach at durdle door, so the helicopters could land. Absolute idiots going to such a small beach. Just watch the numbers ramp up in a couple of weeks. Many will be sorry they went and a few will be sorry they got drunk and jumped

DD is home!!! Gordon Bennett, she said she had a killer headwind that added 15 minutes. Almost as quick as going in the car, she took back routes and said the scenery was gorgeous.

Bottling will be completed in 25 minutes. I have to maintain 82 degrees in the last 15 minutes and that will be it. Remove from water, tighten kilner bands and wait for the pops. . Very easy but I am glad I made notes re quantities and timings

Incredible long bike ride. Wow!!! Bet she is fit.
Fingers crossed luckygirl for some good news tomorrow.
Have fun whiff, and just let them get on with the work.
I would love to go away when they come to do my bathroom, but Residents Cttee does not like security keys to be handed out to workman. Anyway, suppose I do want to keep an eye oj what they will be doing. Fortunately, the bathroom they are re-fitting (their main job) is right next to my front door, and my Living Room is at the opposite end of the hallway, so although i will know they are there I can largely ignore their presence, Only time, they will come into living room is to put on the thermostat valves on to the radiators there, also to do that to the rad in my bedroom, and they will also be putting down new laminate in my ensuite and changing over the loo seats for a soft close one.

I was quite surprised, when I arrived here last winter to discover that none of the radiators had individually controlled thermostats. Be glad to have those working next winter. Also, the soft close toilet seats. I know I live alone, but find that 'clang' quite off putting. Isn't it amazing the sort of things we consider normal these days. Back in the day, toilets did not have that cover, just a seat!!!

I was contacted recently by someone researching the youth political groups I used to be very active in the 1960s'. Have spent ages going through some old photos and then scanning them into the computer so that I could send them to her. Scanning is a very boring job!!!l Have finished this now and also contacted other people from that time to see if they could contribute.

SHandy - I had to have a new laptop as soon as I arrived here. My previous one had been playing up, and it was discovered that the wire (or whatever it was) that carried the wi fi signals through the hinge section was broken.

My son-in-law sorted it all out for me, have an HP one, now which is much neater and smaller than the previous one and quite light weight. I keep it on a small table at the side of my recliner chair, so it is easily available for me.

Probably worth your while getting some expert advice - list exactly the sort of things you need it for - and do not be pushed into purchasing anything which does too many other things. Think my cost around five to hundred pounds. One of the things that tempted me to make the move here was to have my SiL available to sort out technical matters -and he has been very good on that.