Help calm me. house buying and selling stress. Part 5

Right I'm back. Spice 101 is SueH49 new name checked with gransnet and Sue sent me a PM to confirm.

Shandy57 please do not stay in thr rental Craftyone and Franbern are right. You need to get going finding your new home. I know it's hard but you need to do it. Do you know how much you are willing to spend on your new home? Taking into consideration any money you will need to do things to it. How I decided was I set my self at top price of £250 if nothing needed doing apart for decoration. But £220 if things needed doing. What sort of home do you want house or bungalow. You only need 2 bedrooms. You know I am mad on lists but it helped me decide what I wanted and more importantly what I didn't want.

You need to be realistic and willing to compromise . And have a proper survey done on any house you put an offer on. I knew I want to move to Liverpool but had no idea of good or bad areas. My kids told me which areas where good. I had a list of 20 bungalows I liked the look of . All be 5 where discounted because of things like not on bus route and proposed road building etc. I booked the 5 views then came up. My bungalow was the 3rd one I viewed and viewed a 4th whilst waiting for my offer to be accepted. 5™th one cancelled.

I have said before you need to think of 5-10 in the future what your needs will be. No point in wasting more money on renting . You where being more positive not long ago what has happened? You know what you need to do . It's hard and scary doing it on your own. We who have done it know what you are going through. I was scared to death I was making a mistake but glad to say I don't regret moving for a minute.
I love my bungalow and my new life.
Went to see how the works going at my bungalow the tiles are all now grouted and it will all be fitted out today. It's looking wonderful.

Shandy57 I know you can do it. Let us help you. You need a new home, new life and new memories.

Not sure how old you are Ellianne, but I think of all of you as young at heart. Glad your DD had the call, definitely fingers crossed for a happy September at school.

I promise I won't just slump on the sofa eating biscuits. I've just given myself a breathing space, I will be gone by the New Year. I just keep thinking of your words 'frying pan and fire' craftyone, I am guilty of being impulsive and don't want to make a mistake. I have phoned my friend and said I'll be looking at Broadstairs first, having a look for self catering later. I do like the thought of the two hours to London, bumpy ride or not. Should be interesting, quite a few bungalows in my price range.

I've just given away my Mum's blanket box, used to be full of our moulting feather eiderdowns as kids. Going to my herbalist neighbour who loves restoring wood

Right! Dog walked (far too humid for him), recycling done, now book sorting into bags for the secondhand shop, they have reopened and hopefully will be able to take books soon. I'm going to put them all out of the way in the car.

I know it isn't relevant to anyone moving at our age, but yesterday DD had a call from the new school the children hope to attend. Such a pleasant conversation welcoming them to the school and looking forward to meeting them soon. She was impressed; an educational establishment with a positive attitude to a September return. Fingers crossed.

It's difficult Shandy to get motivated in these times, but try to keep going with your search. By that I mean visiting your 3 chosen areas and then make a decision. Many holiday cottages/caravans accept dogs too.

Don`t miss the boat this year shandy, bungalows in particular are going up in price because people are wanting to move to smaller properties with gardens. Try and keep the momentum going, the first hurdle is well and truly over.

Several of us have been widowed ie done this on our own, sold up, sorted our things, found a new property in a new area. Its an adventure and the longer you procrastinate, the more stress you will be under, it won`t disappear while hunkering down over winter, in a rental that you don`t really like, that eats your money and that will never be your secure home. There is no magic fairy to wave a wand.

Cornwall is not suitable for you for all the reasons that have been discussed, I don`t believe that you want isolation or holiday hoards anyway.

Shandy, I do agree with what Craftyone says, that you are f finding excuses not to make decisions. No idea why you have convinced yourself that you made mistakes with your sale. Think you managed this very well indeed, and got it sorted after so long seemingly having a property this was not selling at all.

Caravan idea sounds good, there really will be ways of getting to some of the towns you wish to look at from July onwards. There is no doubt that there is a huge desire to open the Hospitality area, and definitely all sorts of places which offer self-catering will be up and running within the next few weeks.

One of my daughters and her cousin have already made a booking for a weeks holiday for themselves and their families to go to a cottage in Devon at the end of July.

You should be looking up self-catering places in places like Broadstairs, Deal etc for August or September (will be cheaper then as outside school holiday period), and also contacting local estate agents about properties. Brighton is very expensive and so noisy and crowded, (very my much a young persons city), but either side of it = West and East along the South Coast there are some lovely places, much cheaper and quieter and with easy access by rail and road.
Now is the time, to get down to making these arrangements and getting them into your diary. If you leave it another six months - you will be into winter, not much daylight
time to view properties, and then you will use that as an excuse to wait until the New year, and it will go on and on. Try to give yourself definite time limits.

No need to be scared of making decisions by yourself, it is only for yourself. So, you are (like some others of us on here), only needing to decide what YOU want in your new home. I loved it that I had no-one else to consider when making my decision of what I wanted in a flat - my only compromise on my need list, was the size of the spare bedroom as everything else was so perfect - and TBH, as time moves on fewer and fewer people will actually be coming to stay with me - and if the spare bedroom is not suitable, well.....there are loads of hotels and b&B's on my doorstep.

Use the next two or three weeks to start making decisions on what sort of property you want, pick just two or three places you think you will wish to live in, and contact EAgents there and get arrangements in hand to visit and view. Viewing during July and August, September - should mean, a completion and move by late October, early November and be settled in for Christmas and winter.

Keep to your arrangement for just extending your existing rental by the month, hopefully it could be not much more than two or three months you will need to pay.

Millymouge, looks like you will be moving on a warm and sunny day next Monday- how lovely. I can remember I did this when I moved in 2003. Made sure I plenty of cold drinks instead of tea and biscuits for the removal men, and a fan was one of the first thing to come off the removal van.

Merylstreep, I gave my sewing machine to one of my g.children before I moved. Had not used it for so many years, there is no way I would try to make my own curtains now. Prefer this to be done by professionals. These are the very last curtains I will ever purchase. One of the things that helped me choose this local shop was the fact that they do everything - they come into measure, make the curtains, and then come in and hang them. Also provide and install new curtain rail. All I have to do is choose and pay!!!!

Think the rain is stopping at last. All of you with lawns are going to need to cut them over the weekend. I am delighted I do not have that to think about any more.

I’m with Midge on this one, I think that as you are thinking of moving so far away you need to de stress first, every house hunt for you will be a trek, find out as much as you can about the places you are interested in, join FB pages and research the areas thoroughly, some towns have web cams that you can access to see traffic etc.
The only worry is that you are spending your money on renting.
Remember, Cornwall is only remote when you leave it, when you are there it is fine!
DD2 lived just outside Exeter, but the traffic was horrendous and getting around was very difficult.
I think by that by the time you are able to get To see anywhere it’s going to be Autumn so it’s either crack on now, or rest up, who knows you might decide to stay closer to home?

Shandy I think you are right to stop and regroup. You need to time to recover a bit.

what you said shandy, worries me. You said that you might have to write off the rest of the year, that to me is just a psychological excuse not to make that decision, you keep putting it off and before you know it, your money will have dripped away so that you would not be able to afford anything half decent. You can get a caravan and caravan sites will be open very soon. You can couple that with a week away, long enough to get it done. Have you actually spoken to any estate agents?

ha ha |MerylStreep, my daughter never found out I actually stapled one of her curtain hems up once! I could not get them level, no idea why!

On the subject of curtains ( and the cost) some of the best money I ever spent was to go on a curtain making course.
One of the tips that surprised us all was: you do your hem before your tape heading. As she explained, any adjustment can be hidden under the tape, but not the hem. It's simple when you know, isn't it. ?

Evening all, it's hit me hard tonight that I'm 'homeless' and I have to make such important decisions about my future on my own. I made so many mistakes with my sale I feel a bit panicky

Thank you for the Broadstairs recommendation GrandmaMoira, I've had a look tonight and it has everything. I am attracted by the amount of Londoners there, I think its the same with Brighton. People have also recommended Deal. Good train links to Victoria. My late husband went to his aunt's funeral in Thanet and I am very scared of having to drive over the huge flyover!

Thanks Franbern for the idea of a few days in each area. I need to gather myself and regroup, I still feel exhausted. I'm still sitting opposite huge columns of books I need to repack, now I have new boxes.

The original idea was after completion, I'd be travelling up and down looking at various places so I could focus in on one area, but lockdown has scuppered my plans and I think I will just sit it out and wait. The theatre my daughter was working at isn't opening again until the end of November - I was quite shocked. I think I have to write most of this year off and just relax. My idea of moving down south to a rental in one of the places I think I might like, just to get down there, could be costly. I'd have to sign up for a minimum of six months and if I didn't like it, have to pay again to move to a different county. I am really scared I am going to run out of money.

I think, as the rent here is cheap and the neighbours are very nice (I swopped my stone buddha head for a weekend's cat sitting), I might go back to my original plan - lockdown has just extended the timescales. I can put my dog into the kennels he likes, hopefully get my puss cat fed, and travel back and forth to the different areas.

Hopefully the rental agency will allow me to change my option, I'm going to email them now.

Thanks for listening, I'm glad I have you to talk to

Thank you for your good wishes. We are looking forward to it so much, have been in our current house over 40 years and now it is just too big for us. And we have so much stuff, have got rid of lots but there seems to be quite a lot. We have so many plans for the new place, mainly decorating. I’m going to have a good spend on furniture and get what we really want while we can. DDs say they are really looking forward to that, DH says he will leave it all to us but needs a comfy chair for his afternoon nap

Shandy - Swanage is beautiful but I think quite isolated. I know Margate well as have family there but I would recommend nearby Broadstairs as nicer.

The charity shops in WsM mostly say they are going to open at beginning of July, however, some of them have set up drop off centres for people who wish to donate things now. I do have a lot in my garage, but expect these shops to be inundated with stuff when they first get going, so have decided to leave mine until sometime in September before I take them in.

Been busy all day, not really doing a lot. Weeks washing and drying and putting away (must say my Heat Pump tumble dryer was an excellent investment, so easy to use as it detects how much moisture there is in the drum and stops when that is gone - and it costs very little to run). Done a bit of my jigsaw, a little more on my on-line Future learn course, had a 30 minutes sleep,taken down rubbish for collection early tomorrow morning, tried to make a Chollah loaf,- not the best first try All my children have been making these recently and they are all wonderful, will not show them this first attempt - know where I made mistakes, so should be better next time. Measured up living room for border - it is a large room and not square, an interesting shape, but difficult to measure. Will check it when I have my g.son over here tomorrow afternoon. He has asked me to teach him to knit - first lesson tomorrow, hope I can manage that.

Now just relaxing for evening - did manage to get my car from car park into my garage - only got a little wet doing that.

Shandy, interesting choices Exmouth, Swanage and Margate. Surely, some self catering holiday homes will be opening in July - if they do perhaps you could think about going for two or three days visits to these places to get the 'feel' for them.

Afternoon all, mechanic couldn't find anything wrong with the tyre and has just blown it up.

I'm finding it stressful renting. I think I told you I had to do lots of photographs and a 'report' for the rental inspection just after I'd completed, as the agency couldn't visit themselves due to Covid. I've now had an email asking if I want to leave on 6th August, renew for six months, or go onto a monthly contract. I've asked to go onto a monthly contract to give myself a breathing space. I do feel panicky about all the stuff in the garage, I wonder when the charity shops might be able to reopen.

I know I should be scouring all the agencies for a rental in the south, but am concerned at the cost of moving again if I don't like it. I am scared I'm going to run out of money.

I've got three places I like the look of, that offer different things - Exmouth, Swanage, and now Margate. I'd much prefer to visit somewhere first and get the feel of the place before I commit to a rental.

Lockdown isn't going to lift anytime soon is it.

I am also worried as to how I'm going to get my pets down there. I definitely wouldn't be able to do the drive, and hesitate to ask my son, it's such a long way.

On a brighter note, the Pica cherries are in the shops! Hope your cherries are coming craftyone, shouldn't be long!

tbh I am loving the downpour, very persistent rain today and the water butts will be full. The garden looks lush. It is very grey but I have been like a pig in muck, very happily sewing and will finish tomorrow.

I was on the phone for a long time to my neighbour friend, last home, who was widowed a month ago. She is coping, keeping busy, although worrying about her son who lives in abroad and is having chemo. She talked and talked, I remember being like that, glad of someone who would listen

I changed car dealerships today, service and mot booked and they will do collect and deliver for under £20. I am very glad of that and glad to have a date

Yes, I did rather under-estimate the amount I would be paying for these, but the costs include a new very long corded rail on the large Living Room window and a roman blind in the same material as the drapes for my bedroom. I know once they are in place I will be more than happy - but that will be in about four weeks time.,

I will then need to cover over the border at the top of all the walls in the living room. Current one reflects the very muted pink and green of the curtains. I will need to reflect the gold and cream of my new ones.

I know the 'proper' way is to take down the existing one, before putting up the new one. However, will not be doing this, new one will just be pasted over the top of this one. I am not putting it up (forbidden use of ladders and steps) so my daughter is going to do that. Spent a happy couple of hours on line yesterday (I have a length of the curtain material with me to match), and have ordered five sample pieces of border for me to see in real life, which will be best to purchase.

Job today is to measure round the walls in the Living room, to find out how much I will need to order when I have chosen which one.

It is still pouring down, so we had the driest May on record, and this is the rain that should have been shared out then. Hope nobody has got floods where they are. Sure, those of you with gardens will be glad of this downpour.

lol, right franbern, it is a staying indoors day and I am ready for a whole day of pleasureable sewing. I finished cutting by 9am, had a brunch of salad with garden pickings and more, to make sure I get my veg because I can sew through mealtimes when I get involved. I am just having a hot chocolate and some cherries, then I am off upstairs with an audible book on my fire tablet. It is going to be a cosy day and certainly productive

I ordered a rug last night, pure wool and with discount it was £184, compares well with wool rugs at over £1000 90x160 so it will be nice in front of the fire but 90 deep is better than the 120 that I have there now. Plain, mossy green with a cut out design. So I will have yet another rug to roll up and put somewhere until I decide what to do with it. Its a pity you cannot get rug colour samples

Curtains, good ones, are hugely costly. It is a very big investment and many home buyers don`t factor enough money for new curtains. We can all live with any remaining for a while but one day we all want to put our own stamp on our homes. I am sure you will love them Franbern

When I had curtains made for the Living Room (through Lounge) at my last house, I can remember they were very expensive. Beautiful material. At that time, of course, I was still working, so it was not just coming out of savings. Even so, I felt bad that the curtains that were there when I had moved in were good quality - but wrong colour. They were plain blue - then I realised that I needed to have new (blue) curtains in my bedroom - and that the large bay windows were the same width (bedroom one slightly shorter). So, curtain company, cleaned and altered the ones they took down in the living room, and hung them in the bedroom. Made me feel much happier that I was able to re-use them in that way.

Think I will try to sell the curtains at present in my living room, such a lot of material particularly on the very large window going onto my patio type balcony. Good material and all lined. Sure they would do someone a great service for a very long time.

Exeter is a large, bustling town - love the piece of the original city wall that is preserved in its centre. Not sure if I would want to live there, maybe on the suburbs somewhere.

Today, I woke to see it is pouring down - and, according to the weather forecast, will do so for the rest of the day. Do not think, Craftyone, you will be going out on your bike today. I need to move my car from the car park into my garage, - apart from that no intention of going outside at all today.

Morning all, overcast again here.

Congratulations millymouge, I wish good weather for you on your moving day.

Good luck with your op Spice101, wishing you a speedy recovery.

I've joined the Exmouth page on fb today, looking forward to seeing what the community is like.

I think I said I've decided against Cornwall as it's too remote, but I'm still a member of the Par and St Blazey page - they have a yellow flood alert, the local people are monitoring the heavy rains. I've just seen the weather on the news, I don't remember June being so wet.

I did manage to list a few books on ebay yesterday and must try harder, I've got loads to do. I'm researching them first, one of them is listed at our huge secondhand book shop for £24. I've listed it for half that, see what happens.

Have a good day whatever you are doing

lots of cars and much new building in exeter, I know people who have gone to quieter places

Well done millymouge, hope all goes well with your move and you settle in to your new home quickly.

Franbern I paid a fortune for very expensive curtains many years ago and I loved them. For various reasons I thought I needed to replace them but could not find any fabric I liked as much. Fortunately the curtain place I was dealing with was not intent on making a big sale and suggested I had them cleaned. I did so but they shrank and were shorter so the company rejigged the tracks and all was well. I guess now with the house demolished the curtains have gone too.

Today is the day, hopefully my new knee will solve some of my pain and mobility issues.

Take care everyone.

"Yes Exeter is pricey and it is also a university town so care would be needed about where to live."

Yes Exeter uni attracts many wealthy middle class students *craftyone", some of them drive posher cars than I do!!

I've never thought to wash my gardening gloves. Is that to stop any diseases amongst plants?

oh well done millymouge, that is exciting news

Today has been a pottering day or rather catching up day. I cleaned and tidied the garage, is it just me, I dump stuff when I get busy. Much nicer to go into now and my new bike is completely ready for a trial run, I am not going out if there is a chance of rain. It has disc brakes and I am under strict instructions to be wary, to use the back one first because they have a fierce bite. I have fitted my bags on, one handlebar bag, always to remain on and panniers when I go further afield

I put a tiny bag under the back of my saddle containing emergency stuff ie a spare inner tube and a little pack with 2 x co2 cylinders, tyre levers and patches. I am in cycling country so someone would stop and help, my husband used to often help

Being in cleaning mode, I washed all my gardening gloves and cleaned all my dumped muddy garden tools.

Yes Exeter is pricey and it is also a university town so care would be needed about where to live

Millymouge - congratulations on exchanging on your new property.
Shandy - a friend of mine moved to Exeter, on the Exmouth side, at the same time I moved and she loves it. It does seem quite expensive though. She sold a London house and spent nearly as much.