Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Franbern
I know that all our situations are different RE the stress.
But please believe me when I say I can feel yours because it takes me right back to that awful time.

I can't remember which was worse: the day that OH went off in a temper, I phoned him to talk and he just made this awful noise and the phone went dead!!! I called 999 because I genuinely thought he'd had a heart attack ( I knew where he was) All was well. He had started to cry. If you knew my OH you would know this just doesn't happen. The police found him and all was well ( well, after a while)

The other bad day was the day of completion and move.
The movers had arrived. OH had to go to the bank. Solicitor phoned and said something about the money. I tried to phone OH, he wasn't answering ( left phone in car ?)
Jumped in car to get to bank. Stopped at traffic lights and my right leg went into a massive shake. I couldn't move.

Obviously it all turned ok. And it will for you Fran ?
Just hang in there girl.

Franbern I just wanted you know I am rooting for your. My exchange only happened the day before completion. I was a nervous wreck. That only happened because my solicitor lost her temper with my buyers solicitor. Fingers and toes crossed you have good news tomorrow.

Those of you having removal issues, can you not stipulate a few weeks gap between exchange and completion? I have done that in the past

notanan, it seems that completion date is arranged first so that people can get removals booked, exchange seems, these days, to be squeezed in at any old time before completion. It appears that more and more people are only able to have a few days between exchange and completion. I was lucky to have had 7 days. My removals date was booked and the wait to exchange, with a fixed completion, was incredibly stressful. I have to say even more stressful than losing my husband

I am so worried that Franbern has not heard today.

All the best Franbern, everything still crossed!

I've had all the bad luck floating about today, got a parking ticket and a huge electric bill. Now I've burnt my jacket potato, that's the three!

Franbern I have my fingers and toes crossed that your exchange goes through today. I know what you are going through and it is awful living with all this stress especially for you as you haven't long been in hospital.

Mosaicwarts hope your luck changes today. Best foot forward today is a new start. Have you decided to see how much you could get at auction for your house or what one these buy any home companies would pay. I know you would have to move out quickly but you can put your things in storage. Don't know if you could stay with a relative while you find a new home. From your messages I know you are fed up . I think you need to have a hard think about how much more money you are willing to waste on your present home. And are you willing to take a lower price for it just to be able to move on. Wish I could give you a hug as I think you could do with one.

yes me too, I wish I could be there for mosaics and Franbern

Fingers crossed for you Franbern for exchange today.

When I was having problems selling I looked at those 'buy any house sites' Mosaic but reviews tended to say they offered one price but didn’t always stick with it. Perhaps considering an Auction would be better as at least you can tell them a minimum price that you will accept.

notanan, it seems that completion date is arranged first so that people can get removals booked, exchange seems, these days, to be squeezed in at any old time before completion.

Only if thats what both solocitors have agreed.

Personally I always say the completion date must be X days/weeks after whenever exchange is

If other side says they need to complete on X date I say okay but only if exchanged by Y date

Notanan2 you have been very lucky to be able to do that. Unfortunately a lot of us here have not had that experience.

If you dont ask you dont get. If you make it a condition then there are ways it can be worked around. He who shouts loudest and all that.. its not just the other side that dictate, your solicitors have to agree and if you havent given your solicitors your conditions they will just agree to the other sides dates!

we know that that notanan. The actual fact of doing this is far from what we we would like to do and none of us need to suck eggs. Sorry to be blunt but we are or have actually been in that situation and being the nice types that we are, we have all tried to compromise with everyone else in the chain

Well said Craftyone. When I read Notanan2's post I felt like I was being attacked. Hopefully that wasn't her intention. Many of here have been and some are still going through this hell. It's not as easy as she makes out.

It is a comprimise! If they need to exchange on X date, fine but completion is 2 weeks later, if they want to complete on Y date, fine but exchange is 2 weeks before.

And it is "kind" to lay your conditions out from the start so others know where you stand.

Solicitors will often sit on signed contracts for weeks. If they have until completion to exchange, they will put it off until then. If they have to have it dons before it can be!

It rarely suits anyone for everyone to be exchanging, completing and moving all on the same day. Even if there are 100% mortgages or BTL ISAs a gap is still possible, but solicitors will not offer to do that extra work unless you tell them to!

yes, you cannot beat actual experience

If you have no gap, your solicitor has agreed to that on your behalf.

Of course when you set your conditions like notanan, you run the risk of other people in the chain pulling out. A whole chain can collapse because one person says it must be like this.

My son was an estate agent (I know, I know but he was a good one) and saw it happen more than once. A seller pulled out because a buyer further down the chain said it must be done by a certain date which wasn’t possible. A buyer pulled out because the seller wouldn’t leave the carpets.

People are edgy when they buy and sell. It only takes one thing to put them off.

yes, you cannot beat actual experience

And how much experience qualifies you to join this thread?

I've bought and sold four times, is that not enough?

And I do have experience of being TOLD to exchange and complete on the same day. Funny enough if you say no can do the solicitors find a way, they just prefer not to.

And half the time it comes from the solicitors not the others in the chain..

My son was an estate agent (I know, I know but he was a good one) and saw it happen more than once. A seller pulled out because a buyer further down the chain said it must be done by a certain date which wasn’t possible. A buyer pulled out because the seller wouldn’t leave the carpets.

Im not saying to do that.
Im saying if THEY have a date in mind, you can say "yes with a but".

If their exchange date is set in stone, change completion.

If their completion is set in stone, change exchange.

Its the SOLICITORS that are inconvenienced if exchange is brought forward to accomodate a gap before the others set dates. Not the others in the chain

It doesn’t always work like that. My buyers had to wait for their mortgage offer to exchange which took them to renewal of the six month lease on their rented flat. They had to vacate or sign up for another six months.

If I had insisted on a gap between exchange and completion they would have pulled out because they had nowhere to go and sx months rent would have cost them thousands.

Likewise if f the people who I bought from had insisted on a gap I would have asked for a reduction in price to compensate for further storage fees. I had a few reservations about the work that needed doing. It would only have taken for them to be a little bit difficult for me to look at what else there was around.

Like I said people are edgy. It doesn’t take much.

who cares. It is actual fact that counts, not theory

What storage fees? You dont have to move out if you exchange sooner rather than later!

The mortgage does not have to be in place on exchange either (we have had that, and also tied up deposits, there are solutions if you communicate and work around)

whilst retaining an intact chain and some degree of empathy