Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

weston will snuggle you Franbern, made me appreciate that it is all relative and stress is relative. Wishing you the very best

My neighbour is stressing about a `so called` open area in front of us. unkempt and was on the EA brochure, we have been making plants for neighbour gatherings and a few small trees. We now think that the builder has played a blinder ie it belongs to him and he wants pp for a bungalow that we have been asked to oppose by another overlooking neighbour. There is no sign of pp, it is all chinese whispers and heresay but I could not sleep last night, he has paved all access to that plot, he would not be moving an earth moving machine on to put top soil on for a useable open space

Personally I would not mind the bungalow but I hate the potential, perhaps deviousness, getting richer, why when he is almost 80? Greed knows no bounds. In the meantime mu new neighbours outside the development are very anxious. One mans deeds or lack of clarity can so much affect another

Franbern, sorry to hear that you have been unwell and need an operation. Hope it goes well. Best wishes to you.
And hope the sale goes through so you can have a lovely time in WSM.

I have been away from this thread for a couple of days because my phone ran out of data. Internet is now connected.
I hadn't realised how difficult it must be for those of you on your own making a life changing move, both physically and emotionally. My husband has done everything in this move - the paperwork, dealing with builders, jobs around the house etc. whilst flying up to London and back for work. I couldn't have managed without him. He keeps saying what we are doing now is for the final time which is scary in itself, so goodness knows how those of you on your own feel. I guess you have no choice but to get on with things.
All is good here, the cats are now out and about discovering their new neighbourhood. We are getting new glass in the back door with a cat flap fitted next week. Yesterday we visited the bank to change our address and update the accounts.
Franbern sorry to hear you are unwell but I hope you recover fast and that you can press on with the move.
mw I'm glad you're remaining philosophical and keeping on top of things. Boilers are a nuisance, we had to have a new pump fitted shortly before we sold and I'm sure the timer would have needed to be replaced this winter.
Whiff that's interesting about bus passes. It's 66 years old here whereas in London I had an oyster card for free travel.
I bought a painting at an art exhibition yesterday. It's a seaside scene by a local artist. Off to get it framed today with a light blue surround.
Good luck everyone.

Franbern, great news about liking and offering on the flat, but I'm shocked at your news about the tumour. Best wishes for its removal and your speedy recovery, I hope you have someone to support you Fingers crossed on the survey and fast results for you.

Whiff, I'm dizzy reading your post! I hope you can find some time to put your feet up. Such great news you'll have a bus pass, my friends in London couldn't believe we don't get them in Northumberland until we are 66.

Viewing didn't materialise today after yesterday's deep clean, but at least I can relax for a few days as I have asked for 48 hours notice.

It really is autumnal tonight, the breeze has a chill to it. I'm scared my boiler will go on the blink now I know it needs new 'baffle' plates, so I'm not going to put it on until they've been fitted.

Off to have my curry, have a good evening everyone

I have for a long time had a key safe in my porch. Very, very useful. One time I slammed the front door shut when I went out to take some rubbish to the bins in the front forecourt. Did not mean to do that, and I was in nightie and dressing gown and slippers. Another time, I was away from home when a couple of my daughters phoned to ask if they could stay for a couple of nights, was able to give them to key safe code and they were able to let themselves in. Also, feel that if every I do call emergency services, they can get in without having to break down the door.
I separated from my husband over 25 years ago, and have lived by myself for most of the time since then. Did have son and DiL staying with me for a few years in my old house. I have never want to have any sort of relationship with anyone ever again. Much happier being by myself. I do accept that those of you who had good marriages find it much more difficult to come to terms with being by yourself, but there are many advantages.

Franbern I hope you have your op soon and that you are ok afterwards. And all goes well with the survey. Being ill and trying to buy and sell all the same time is an awful lot to cope with I hope you have some family support.

Great news about the review Mosaicwarts. All your daughters hard work has paid off.

Spent the afternoon cleaning floors and washing down skirting boards ready for the carpets to be laid tomorrow. Also got a electrician coming as well. Wednesday morning the roofers are doing the garage roof and on the afternoon the pest controller is coming to see if any of the bait has been eaten. Found out today my floors are concrete.
Thursday furniture arriving in the morning and IKEA measuring bloke coming on the afternoon. Going to get my free bus/ local train pass tomorrow. In Merseyside everyone aged 60 gets one. Didn't in the West Midlands. Got to sign up for electronic prescription service tomorrow and get prescription from GP Wednesday. Seeing practice nurse for new patient check on 29th.
Think I will sleep well tonight I am exhausted.

Have had a roller coaster few days. Good part is that I have found a flat and my offer on that has been accepted. Whether or not this all goes ahead will depend on the report by the private surveyor who is coming to my house tomorrow morning for my would-be purchasers.
I have said that I have not been too well for the past few weeks, and last Wednesday an appointment at the hospital showed up a tumour in my urinary tract. Being very fast tracked at present, pre-op assessment tomorrow, hopefully following week to go in for a few days to have as much as possible of this removed and biopsy.
At least this is taking my mind of the stresses of selling/buying!
Re the stamp duty - this morning it was categorically denied that this change was being suggested.
I am very much hoping that if the survey goes okay, then I could be moving late October. But we will have to wait and see - have been here before and it all collapsed.

Happy, wonderful news mosaics, clever talented daughter

Just coming on to say the play my daughter is assistant directing has just received a fantastic 4* review from a professional reviewer. She's found it tough this season, they had to rent a house and she is sharing a bedroom with two other girls with completely different body clocks.

Off to 'ping' my tea, this batch cooking is good, but I'm glad the spag bol is finally finished!

I think there is unofficial neighbourhood watch, we all seem to keep our eyes open. Middle neighbour only moved in 3 weeks ago, so has not had the key. I don`t mind having the key as it will be for his dd. I ordered 2 extra keys for me, will give one to closest dd and bury the other, has to be in a position I will remember. There is a position inside my fence but I could reach if I poke my hand through, would get dirty knees but it is only an emergency key. I never had to use it in the last house, it was pristine when I dug it out. The front key is extra secure, needed a code to get it and they have to send for them. Expensive

My last neighbours and I swapped keys, they are the most lovely couple, would do anything for me and I for them. I used to water their plants and take post in etc. They will be up for sale soon, a very big and daunting prospect for them

Perhaps the centre neighbour has had the key in the past and no longer wants the responsibility? Did the neighbour ask for your mobile number in case he does ever lock himself out? When I move I might get one of those 'keysafe' things at the front door, as they have on holiday rentals.

It reminded me of last year when you said about it - my neighbours do have my keys. My son looked after our dog and cat whilst I went away for a few days last autumn, went down to get some wood, and locked himself out. Boys! He went to the neighbour's house but could see them both asleep on the sofa, he said he had to stand in the rain for an hour waiting for them to wake up! I doubt it was an hour, probably felt like it. I've got a hidden one now, he knows where it is

I hope you have future fun with the other neighbours craftyone, it is very nice they invited you to meet everyone. Is there neighbourhood watch yet?

I would love a male couple next door, the experience I have of any male couple has been lovely. The more I think about it, we are 3 neighbours, I am on the right, one other in the centre and said neighbour on the left. The one in the centre is lovely, about 75 and has a lady friend who does not live with him. Why didn`t he ask this centre neighbour to have his key? Did he even contemplate that out of politeness I might have said `and you have my key`?. He is very charming, came out of his house when I left for the gathering yesterday, coincidence? Over charming, one of those who bobbed to the outside when on a very short small road to the gathering. Yes I can see that some women would have reciprocated but definitely not me, I am too suspicious and very self-contained

Jane 10 that is one of the creepiest things ever, your poor MIL.

Oh dear Jane10! Your MIL must have been very unnerved at such intrusive behaviour, I wonder if he lurked in his garden waiting for her to hang out the washing! Coo ee? Awful, glad she got away.

I've lived here for twenty years and my neighbours are a male couple - I feel very safe with them

Lurking on this thread (while sending positive vibes to buyers and sellers) I was reminded of my MiLs dilemma on moving into her semi detached bungalow. The man next door made a hole in the dividing hedge between them and fitted a gate so he could 'get in to help' if necessary!!
Needless to say she moved to a flat soon afterwards. I know that a nice lesbian couple moved in after her. I wonder how keen he was to 'help' after that?!

Argh Whiff, I'd have reacted to the kiss badly, I would have jumped back and wiped it off!

I'm still numb about Steve three years on, and keep thinking about when we moved here. I had no idea then he'd only be here for sixteen years, he so loved this county and this house. He became ill in 2012 when he was 59 but I'd never appreciated how very ill he was, it was such a huge shock when he died in 2016. He was my best friend and protector, and the only person that truly understood me. My kids are now 23 and 26, it's so hard guiding them through life alone.
My daughter is grieving more now than in the beginning, but finds it difficult to talk to me about it I go to the cemetery a lot, and know it will be hard to leave him behind when I move away, but I will mark his anniversaries using the local flower shop to deliver. It's our 34th wedding anniversary on 3 October, his birthday on 20 October. I am not interested in meeting anyone.

It's fantastic you have battled with your weight and just have a few pounds to go to feel completely 'healthy'. My friend hasn't tackled his weight problem and wants to have his knees done, he has to lose weight before they will consider it. My poor Mum had a lifetime weight problem through comfort eating, unfortunately I do the same. Two of everything. I meant to join Slimming World but found my old book instead, I can't really afford the £5 a week at the moment. Must start!

Thanks for the good wishes about the viewings. My daughter and I have come to the conclusion many of the viewings are curiosity, not serious buyers and I'm glad the EA said she will try to get me cash buyers. I am really quite angry about the last viewer's feedback -which was obviously said purposefully to unsettle me so I would accept their low offer, if it comes. I used to work in a charity shop and it reminds me of people searching for a fault in a garment to justify them asking for a reduction.

Enjoy your cleaning and moving in, then time to explore the area and start having some fun!

Up much earlier than I wanted to be as my dog was barking at 7 am, don't like going to the beach early as people take their 'difficult' dogs at this time to avoid others.

Have a great day everyone

I had a kiss on the cheek 4 months ago, the man fitting a kitchen appliance, he was very chatty and we had a nice discussion and he gave me a kiss on the cheek when he left. He had been talking about his wife and his friends so I thought no more of it but this is not a middle class London social arty scene here, it is country, yokel and much more reserved about peck on the cheek stuff

I noticed my neighbour kiss a couple of women on the cheek last night, I never got lose enough on purpose. Maybe it is habit for some but different when women do it to other women. I gave a couple of women hugs when I left last night, would not have dreamt of it with the men. I can see me being friends with the women.

My husband would definitely not ever kissed any other woman on the cheek, apart from family hugs

It is a credit to you that you have lost so much weight whiff, I carry too much weight and am in two minds about losing it. It is a protective layer in more ways than one but extra weight is no good for my joints. I need to think s*d unwelcome attention and care for my joints more

I've been on my own for 15yrs and don't want another man in my life. Like Craftyone my husband was my one and only. I still love him as much today as I did when he was alive. Even after all this time I still feel half of me is missing. As the years go by you learn to cope but I have found that the loss doesn't lessen. But that is just my experience. I am lonely NOT because I am on my own but the one person I want and need I can never have. I have always since a child been content with my own company. We were lucky we found each other when we where young. He was 18 me 16. We had 29 yrs together. Brought our 1st house in 1980 moved in together and married a year later. We moved into the house I have sold in 1985.

Don't know if anyone else feels this way but it has always been our home and now it feels strange saying my home. No one here will have known my husband also in the past 2 years I embarked on a diet to finally tackle my very obese body. Was 19st 2.25lbs now 11st 8lb. I want to get to 11st. Still be classed as overweight but at 61 and with decades of being overweight my skin is flabby and I think I look good . Was a 32 but now 16. I was 11st when I started going out with my husband.

I am enjoying my stay at my daughter's but will be glad to move into my new home as like Craftyone I like my own routine.

Over familiar men are very creepy. A few months ago a man at a ATM asked me to show him how to use it. I do help people if I can so I did. When I went to leave he kissed me on the cheek and offered me his phone number. I was so shocked I said no and hurried away. What I should have done is asked him what the *** hell he was doing. My children were horrified and sorry it had happened to me. Friends in their 60's said that was nice and my brother's comment was he wanted to say thank you. My reply was he should just have said thank you.

How would any on this thread have reacted? Since then I still help where I can but if it's a man I am vary. I am no raving beauty but I do know I am pleasant to look at. Even though I am flabby, greying hair and crows feet.

Mosaicwarts hope you have lots of viewings soon. Nannytopsy have you tried sending a strongly worded email to your solicitor? Craftyone I wouldn't accept that key from that man it might encourage him.

Busy week ahead of me. Cleaning and moving in.

Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.

I asked for my previous post to be deleted as I revealed too much about my friend Second time I've done it, I have to be more careful.

How odd your new neighbour asked you to keep a spare key for him - hopefully that won't be followed by a request in the future to water his 40,000 african violet collection when he's away for a month! Good for you burying your key, I won't be giving mine to any new neighbours either.

His over familiarity reminded me of my late Mum's situation. She had been divorced for some years, and moved to a ground floor flat when she was 55. Her life was made hell by her neighbour, a very lonely unmarried man who lived upstairs with his mother. He'd appear at her lounge window with roses ... that he'd picked from her garden. He'd also 'pop in' all the time to see if she was alright. It really gave her the jitters and she started keeping the curtains closed, and wearing her coat when she answered the front door as though she was just going out. He pestered her constantly and had a skin like a rhino, eventually she had to say point blank please stop visiting me. I'm glad she was able to move away from there. I haven't had neighbours for twenty years, and am not sure how I'll cope when I do.

Sunday already - better go to bed, just been watching the programme about Vietnam. My daughter has now broken up with her Vietnamese boyfriend - her new boyfriend is from Belfast. I need to brush up on my history! Night night x

Thank you for your support. I have been nagging the solicitors at least twice a week for a month but never get past the secretary. Asked for a phone call from the solicitor on Friday - nothing.

oh my word mosaics, I thought perhaps it was just me being cautious. My neighbour is a `nice` friendly good looking man, he is skint and he works one day a week at the estate agents I bought my house from. He obviously knows my financial situation from that, if nothing else, having to show proof of funds to his friend who manages the place. It is pretty obvious that I have enough money to be comfortable eg my appliances are good ones and my shutters are wood

It was a small gathering this evening, I met another widow, 3 years for her, a lovely smart lady. My neighbour made a bee line for me, nice to have a proper chat he said. I flowed easily from one person to another and left at 9, by myself so no hints from me at all. I am absolutely definite that he will be kept at arms length by me, yes I will help when I can as long as it is objective, he asked me to keep a spare key for him this evening. Ok I will do that for his daughter but no way would I reciprocate.

I never want another man in my life, my husband was my one and only til death us did part

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So sorry about all that mosaics, at least being on my own all the time gives me stability in a weird way. You get into one routine and then you have to change again, it is very unsettling for you.

My neighbour called to see if I wanted an escort to the neighbour doing the gathering. Was very nice of him to ask but I declined, need to keep things at arms length. I am happy in my skin now, accepted being single, cope with most things. He is recovering from his second divorce. I have a protection bubble around myself because when all is said and done I want no other male relationship. I have seen gold diggers in action, plenty about

Home again after dropping my daughter at the station, she's back in Edinburgh until 27th. I have got very used to my routines, and didn't expect to be driving her to a friend's house at 9 pm last night ... and back again to collect her at 10 pm! Pitch dark country lanes and pouring rain - saw two toads walking across the road. She has some fantastic friends around here, they are better than sisters, they never argue! I know she is sad I don't want to stay in the area, and she was also missing her Dad a lot this morning She had a very close relationship with him.

So I'm alone again. I wish I had someone to hold my hand through this nightmare, I do feel so anxious and have to calm myself.

Waiting to hear if a 'viewer' is coming on Monday so I should be cleaning, but I can't face it just yet. I will hoover downstairs tonight after my dog's beach walk, the house is always tidy now at least.

Nice you've been invited to someone's house craftyone, have a nice time. Not so nice that you've read about the chancellor changing stamp duty to sellers!

Good positive progress whiff, it really is new beginnings, lovely to read about

One neighbour next to the little development put a note through the doors, meet the neighbours this evening. What a lovely thing to do. I`ll be going, not staying long but will definitely be there

I read somewhere that the chancellor is considering changing the way stamp duty is paid ie to be paid by the seller and not the buyer

Nannytopsy as someone else has said you need to get on to your solicitor after all they work for you. Also your estate agent as they will also contact your solicitor and they may be able to get answers for you.
Pickfords are delivering my furniture on Thursday morning. My daughter said there was no hurry to leave here as she didn't want me to think that as soon as my furniture arrived she was kicking me out. Which I didn't think they would anyway.
Roofer came this morning as they weather was to bad yesterday. Garage roof not as bad as I feared. Only one board needs replacing and re felted. It will be good for 15 yrs then.
Decorator coming this afternoon as before I can sleep in my bedroom it needs to be decorated. I will stay in the spare room. May be a few months before he can do it but he is worth the wait. I will have the rest of the bungalow decorated next year.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend and got some sunshine.