Friends want to stay for two months - while moving house - help?

We stayed with DD and SiL, initially for 2 months. It turned into 4. Although we always felt welcome and did a lot of jobs for them when they were at work, we were all secretly glad when we could move into our new home.

I understand feelingmyage had already reached her decision

Presumptive people that don't offer money up front won't pay after they have run up YOUR bills. You will never collect from them-they will always have a reason not to pay. They think they have found a giver in you. Just say no and not sorry or explain. They don't really think you will say yes and won't be surprised.

You have done the right thing. Now look forward to Christms,. knowing the only people in your house will be those near and dear that you want there.

Don't feel guilty at all.
You are helping those people learn to take responsibility for themselves.

Thank you - just what we would have done. Brought up to be independent but also generous so made saying no a challenge but knew that I would not have expected such help. I am a bit funny - if I am left to offer I am more generous but if I am asked or told I get a bit stuffy. I think it is the "imposition" thing. I suspect that there is a generation situation where I was up to be acquiescent and please others. Antyhow all the encouragement on the forum has helped me 1) say no and 2) not feel too guilty about it

We had to put our stuff into storage and rent for three months because we couldn't find anywhere we liked.
Luckily we found somewhere and were able to proceed very quickly because we had already sold our previous house.

In my opinion it would be different if this family were close friends, even then I would think twice but casual friends, I wouldn't even consider it.

No way. They are spongers, and brass necked ones at that. No thoughtful or caring person would dream of asking a casual friend to provide them with a home for six weeks, and, as you say, it could be longer.

They are looking for a way to save themselves money and live at your expense. If they come they will expect to be looked after and fed, with them making only token payments.

Just tell them firmly that you are not prepared to provide a home for anyone, other than immediate family for more than a weekend and you cannot possibly do it.

No excuses, no embarrassment, just be as upfront in saying no as they have been in asking you.

Well done for saying your NO! It's rather liberating and confidence boosting isn't it? LOL

Feelingmyage55

Well done that woman!

My son's then girlfriend was supposed to be staying with us for 6 weeks. She moved out 3 years later when they got a place together before splitting up within a year

Massive sigh of relief from me! Phew!!!

I need to look up CF.

Well done, Feelingmyage55.

Huffing and puffing about having to pay for somewhere, indeed! It's their problem, not yours.

They are what Mumsnet calls CFs.

Well done, granpower!

Many years ago I suggested my daughter, son-in-law and 2 boys moved in with me for a while so they could sell their house and be in a better position to buy another. They were very grateful and it worked out fine, though when they left I vowed never to watch another programme about cars. ? but there is no way I would have done it for casual friends. The only downside was that my eldest son and his family were homeless at the time and I was unable to help. He had gone into the pub trade and rented out his own house, but when the job folded his tenants were unable to find anywhere suitable. It all worked out eventually I'm glad to say.

Whew! Maybe I should start a thread on how to say no on other topics? Thank you for the encouragement.

Brilliant,Feelingmyage55, well done it's not easy I know but sometimes you just have to say No, you must feel very relieved & proud of yourself ?

I don’t think anyone except family should ask to come and stay. They should wait to be invited (or not). What a cheek.

Thank you. I needed affirmation from others. Now, to myself - learn it is ok to say - NO.

Enjoy! NZ is so far away and what a chance to really get to know the grandchildren. Sounds like your OH needs the most preparation - all the children will want from him is his time and affection. Visits to the park, sledges if there is snow and plenty of crafty things. There is always the kitchen for him to make a mess in with them. My DH would take them out at least every other day. Lots of mix and match for everyone to have fun together but still have some space. Living far away has its downside but the upside is the wonderful intensity of a long visit. Have a wonderful time.

Definitely not!Why on earth can't they rent?No matter how hard they try not to disturb your routine with three children there is bound to be disruption!
Recently our DD and GS stayed with us for 5 weeks they were up very early for school and work and didn't return until 6 when SIL would also arrive to join them for dinner.They were extending their own home.I love them dearly but was very happy to get our house back when they returned home.

Thank goodness you found the courage to say no - what a blooming cheek just assuming you'd accept your house being invaded. The chances are that it will take longer than they expect to complete their move so you would have been stuck with them over Christmas. I must confess I'm a little apprehensive about our own family descending on us for 6 weeks from NZ soon. We've spent the last 9 months preparing for it but reality will be that my husband will find it very difficult coping with the noise and mess of 2 small children after nearly 20 years of being on our own - we still can't wait for them to arrive though and counting the weeks now!