Life as a lodger

Another round of support for vegasmags post, good luck to you and Charleygirl. I feel very fortunate to be as secure as we can be (I hope! Who knows what tomorrow brings)

I agree whole heartedly with every word that you have written vegasmags. I am in a similar position and wil stay that way I think.

I think it was different in the past, as it was so commonplace to be a lodger, even in later life.I think it would feel very difficult now to go back to that kind of life. Personally I could not share my home with strangers.Think you would have to be careful, being an older woman as well.I am so sorry for anyone who doesn't have their own home.

After my divorce and when my daughters were at university, I took in a lodger through the local university. She stayed with me through her BA and then through her MA. It was like having another daughter. She was only there during term time and because she was a full time student, it didn't affect my single person discount for council tax.

Having a lodger is something I gave serious consideration to as a way of raising a bit of extra cash and also bringing a bit of life into my empty nest. However, when I looked into the financial side of things in detail, it seemed more complicated than I had originally thought. While it's true that you can earn just over £4,000 a year tax free, you would also lose, in my case, the single person discount for council tax. Obviously, utility bills would increase, and I probably couldn't expect a lodger to be as frugal with the central heating as I am. I am also on a water meter and thought it would be just my luck to end up with someone who wanted long, deep baths every night. You also have to have an annual gas safety certificate for every gas appliance in the house, including your gas cooker. You are advised to tell your insurers and then can expect your home insurance to go up. You can also expect to pay a fee to internet sites to advertise your room. If you want to run background checks on your potential lodgers, which is probably wise if you live alone, you have to pay for those too. One site I looked at advised you to have a fire extinguisher and first aid kit at the ready in your kitchen! I began to think that I am probably the sort of person who would take a lodger and be out of pocket!

As you say, Deedaa, it was quite normal then. My parents had two permanent lodgers, one of whom stayed until he died, and the other until he went into a home. This was on top of having students, four children and both in full time jobs.
My mother was a nurse on a geriatric ward, which helped.
One of them worked for a bakery, so we got lots of free bread.

I guess this is going to happen more and more especially as divorce is on the increase. In some ways it could work well as not everybody wants the responsibility of running a home and the bit of extra money could certainly help out if people chose to rent out a room. I see so many older people living alone in 3 bedroom homes and facing financial hardship and loneliness. Perhaps renting out a room, to the right person, could benefit both parties. Once my DD moves out I will be in exactly this position as I will lose my home as I will be unable to afford the rent and my very low income would mean I could only afford a room in a house. It's been such a struggle bringing up my three children as a single parent that in some ways I can't wait for the days when I won't be responsible for all the maintenance and cost of running a home.
Personally I couldn't imagine living alone, especially as I get quite scared being in the house alone at night.

My best friend at school had a lodger at home in the 50's. Her mother was widowed shortly after the war and she took a lodgers to help make ends meet. I think he stayed with them till he died, most peoples' lodgers seemed to be quite long term residents in those days.

I really feel for your friend. It must be horrible having to give up your own home and feel like an "intruder" in someone's else's. It's probably OK when you're young and are perhaps out of the house quite a lot of the time anyway and can imagine a time when you won't have to share. To have to uproot in this way at a later stage in your life - when you may well have family that you would like to invite to stay - must be very difficult.

Ideally I think it would be much nicer if people could live in a more communal way, as they do in some other countries (albeit often out of necessity). But I think modern western society has become so focused on the individual rather than on the group that most people find it difficult to share their space with others.

I currently have a lodger and have many people 'passing through' my home and staying for a while; offering someone a home is one of the joys of my life. But my thoughts were more about 'being' a middle aged lodger because of life circumstances leading to the loss of a home. The friend I mentioned in the OP had been in private rented accommodation with her two daughters, but when they left home and she stopped getting benefit top ups for them she didn't have enough money to continue renting her house and had to go into lodgings. It was a terrible time for her even though her landlord/lady were very nice people; she felt a complete failure. She had nowhere for her adult children to come home to anymore and because she was living in someone else's house she was limited in her actions. Even now she lives with her mother she is still conscious all the time that she is not living in her own home.

I advised a friend to take in a lodger who would help with the mowing, although at the time she preferred the thought of a woman but didn't think she would find a woman of roughly her age who would fancy her big garden. She ended up with a landscape gardener and they are a couple. So watch out!

As far as I know,(unless things have changed) It isn't tax free Granjura. There is a limit to how much money you can take, and then tax is payable.

Sorry (again such a shame this site does not allow edits)- if I ever was in a situation where I had to live alone in a tiny studio- or be a lodger in a friendly house with friendly people- this is what I would choose too.

I think there is a system where by you can match up someone to stay with an older housebound person. I looked into this for my MIL some years back. The idea was for and mature student who needed term time digs and would help out with shopping or housework. I've forgotten the name of it but it seemed a very good idea to me.

Indeed- if you read my earlier post- I would rather take in lodgers if I ever needed money later on in life- than be a lodger. For some older people, taking in a lodger or even 2- could allow them to stay in their own home- money, company and also perhaps. help.

The OP was referring to people in later life having to lodge ..... this is very different from students looking for somewhere to stay for a few months/years.

Merlotgran- is it really a bad thing to go 'back' to 50s or 60s on this one?
We had our Au Pairs and then later students in the 80s and 90s- and it was good fun for all- including our daughters who loved having older 'brothers and sisters'. The first was a student who was at Uni with me- and was having a terrible time in her digs. She moved in for a couple of weeks and stayed 2 years- no rent in exchange for help with our girls. Then one of my 6th Former, whose parents were moving away- she wanted to finish the Year 12 at our school- and then she stayed for year 13- very low rent in exchange with help and babysitting. Then several students from Scraptoft Campus who had gone through clearing and could not find lodgings- and neighbours pointed them in our direction. Then a girl who was at Uni with DD2 and hated her digs- stayed for a few weeks- that turned into 2+ years. Then a French girl on work experience who stayed for 2... and so on... too many to count. Before we moved we acted as official hosts for the local Uni Science dept for their visiting PhDs- what an amazing bunch. We also had the Dean of Prague Uni- and again it was a very enriching experience. We also had visiting teachers from East Germany and Czech Republic staying for 3 months at a time when they came to our school in Loughborough. We've been invited back countless times- Prague, Berlin and many more.

I have been a lodger, when I left my 1st alcoholic abusive husband I went to live with a friend. Over the previous two years I had helped her to turn her vast house into flats and rooms for lodgers, because her OH had left her with vast business debts and a young family. She witnessed a very nasty incident and offered me a room.

You may think it was different because she was a friend, but not really, because all of her lodgers became friends, on the whole. Out of the many she has had over the years, only three have caused any problems, and they were swiftly dealt with. I loved my time with her, on some nights it was almost like a party. Most of her tenants are middle-aged divorced people who are not yet ready to live alone, or needing somewhere temporary while finances are sorted out. There was a young American student whose mother had come over to settle her into University and the mother had died while they were flat-hunting, there were some very sad stories.

Agreed- it just depends on your personality. I was shot down to pieces when I mentioned the possibility before, re the 'bedroom tax'.
I love having young people around- and having a lodger means that their friends would call to, have a meal and a chat. Even if I did not need the money, I think it is something I would do if ever I was on my own. Security to have someone around too- and also as a cat/dog sitter when I travel. I have nothing but great, fun and fond memories of all the students we had to stay, some short term (P.Hds at the local Uni from all over Eastern Europe) and others. Still in touch with most of them, who will always be friends of the family.

Certainly if it was a way of keeping my head above water financially- or having to move out of my home and go into residential care- it would win hands up, for sure.

Taking in a lodger is one thing, actually being the lodger in later life would be something I'd find very hard.

Whilst I can see how this would work for some, there is no way I would want to share my home. It is my sanctuary.

Someone did suggest that now I am on my own I could take in a lodger, or let the room to people needing to catch an early flight (I live close to the airport), but I would have to be on the verge of bankruptcy before I did anything like that. I suppose in truth I am just an anti-social old biddy!!

We seem to be going back to the fifties and sixties where it was not uncommon for people to let out spare rooms as a source of extra income. Even some newly weds who were fortunate enough to have their own home would let out a spare room to a friend or relative.

As suggested before- it would be much better for older people struggling financially, to take on a lodger themselves. It is tax free, and it can be a wonderful experience to have a younger person in the house, for a chat, share meals and shopping- and even at a slightly lower rent in exchange for some help. That way the owner retains the ability to choose and some control

Here in Switzerland there is an association which facilitates this- ensuring references are taken, interviewing candidates, matching up people and also to help in case of any problems, etc. I wonder if this is something that Help the Aged could take on. It is NOT for everybody- and it can work fantastically well for many. As we lived near Uni Campus, we had several lodgers in the past, when our daughters were younger- and it worked really well, with help with babysitting, homework, etc. When DD1 when to Aston Uni, we let the spare room to another student- which paid for DD1 accom in Brimingham. Win Win.

Thankfully I have not - my home is one of my greatest joys and I feel for anyone who gets to our age and is still adrift and in lodgings.