Black Dog 30

Scaredycat a much cooler day here today. Hope it has been so for you too. Had a few spots of rain but only that. Not even enough to make the windscreen wipers come on . Have you been out?

Oh Ellie Anne I’m sorry you didn’t have a better welcome home. Good to get a nice note from your daughter though.
Does you DH not do any shopping or cleaning or anything?
Wyllow a good bit of self pampering does you good.
I went to sit fit this morning then made myself do a walk. My legs ache now but I feel better for it. I really don’t know what it’s going to take to make me lose weight, nothing seems to make an ounce of difference whether I eat or lot. I’m actually worried I’m getting bigger.
Sweetpeasue don’t worry about posting to others you’ve got enough on your plate. Sorry about your tooth infection that can be so painful. I understand your concern about your Dh but if the vascular surgeon knows about the stent in the aorta then surely they would have done something about it if it was dangerous. I don’t know much about stents. Not sure if it’s any comfort or not but my pacemaker lead went into my heart, out the other side and into my lung. Took them a while to find that out. I do wish they’d do more to sort out your DH’s problems
Bless you I know you care. I know everyone does. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything but sometimes I just need to say the words, it hurts so much and I miss him so much. I think some people think (not this group’) that because I go out a lot and have friends to be with that all is well with me. Truth is I think of my dear man all the time and long to be with him
Yes Sweetpeasue it is quite common for people to write prayers for others and leave them in church. They are collected by someone from the church and most certainly are prayed for. I done it many times myself.
HVDY like you I am in awe of Ellie Anne making that journey. I don’t drive on motorways at all an only go locally. I get in a bit of a panic if I don’t know where I’m going.
I’m quite happy pootling round the local area but anything else is beyond me I have no sense of direction.
Nadaterturbe thank you. It’s kind of you to think of others with all the problems you have. Big gentle hug.

Doodle Like you, I don't like driving. I only drive locally, wouldn't ever go on a motorway (I admire EllieAnne, going all that way alone). The longing you feel must be awful. I know you believe you'll see your husband again, and I understand the thought behind that.

EllieAnne Your daughter must have been so grateful for your help. I'm glad she acknowledged the effort you made. You did all that driving, and your husband didn't make the effort to have even a snack ready for you when you got back. That's so poor of him. Men aren't always good at keeping things clean - I spent 6 weeks in hospital, and the first thing I did when I got home was clean the toilet.

Wyllow3 Glad the swimming is helping your leg. I might have a look at Bio Oil. I swear I get a new wrinkle each week. Son1 and family are in Messonghi, Corfu. They've got a whole album of photos that they've shared with me via my Google account. The temperature is 33 there.

SweetpeaSue Sorry you're having such a bad day.

After I went to the Dentist yesterday we took F for walk by the stream where the ponies were. We pass a nice church on way back and I could see the sun shining through the stained glass windows on the opposite side. DH sat outside while I went in. It was absolutely silent and no one around - so peaceful. I walked down and by the wall with candles there were lots of small post it notes rolled up at the side with a small stand in the middle of table with rolled up notes in. A note said you could write a prayer on one and leave it.
I wrote a prayer for DH and put it into the stand.
Ive never seen this before so I wondered if ,perhaps Doodle or * EllieAnne* know what this is and Id be interested to know if people in the church look at them and pray for people's problems.

As I left I went through the main door and not the side one Id entered. I shut it behind me then realised I was in a square like box - that was just what it looked like though it must have been the vestibule. 2 main doors were locked and every wall had exactly the same panelled dark wood doors . I opened one and it was a cupboard. I didnt know which door Id come in ,it felt like a weird dream. Surrounded with doors all the same. I tried to open 2 more but they were locked. Felt quite scared for a while. Finally opened the one Id come in and back into the church where I found the right exit.

Sorry gone on a bit. It was just so strange.

2 weeks since saw GP and no different appt sent for Vascular instead of December one. DH says put it to back of mind till after holiday . Easier said than done but will have to wait till we get back before seeing GP again.

Sending love to all BDs here and those who read. Anyone who is lonely really or just feel so alone. Xx

Nadateturbe You are kind to post about my tooth - I should say its really not too bad. It feels quite sensitive so saw the dentist and xray revealed infection in the canal part. Tooth was actually done 2 yrs ago so its going to mean another canal job where they try to clean it out or an extraction. Its only 1 of 2 molars on that top bit so I really want to keep it. Needs a specialist job so expensive . All I need right now. Have some antibiotics to take if it gets worse.
Take care Nadateturbe You have such difficult days and we dont ever forget you.
Doodle Im so sorry for your overwhelming grief. It must be so lonely for you. Theres nothing I can say that can help and words cant heal your broken heart. I hope youve had a better day today. Sending you a gentle hug .xx

I too wish I had a centre to attend Wyllow3. That sounds so helpful, and reassuring.
Sweetpeasue you poor thing. That is all you needed. Im sure its very painful. I hope antibiotics clear it quickly for you. x

Aw Sweetpeasue, sorry its been a rotton day xx
We dont have to post on others x

Sorry- its been a bad day today.
Just so full of worry of DHs health issues ( stent into aorta) and its first thing that hits me as I wake up in early hrs.
Dentist this morning and Ive infection in root canal filled molar tooth.
Realise others have worse.
Will come in tomorrow. Sorry Im not posting to others with problems. X

Ooo, late in - painful preoccupations today that were resolved well and also a peaceful quaker zoom and a swim and self pamper session (ie, bio oil, which takes forever to sink in after shower - highly recommended for wrinkly skin, but you have to wait for it to settle in)

Yes the swim helped my leg a lot thank you HVDYso will do it more often.

I’m so sorry for your loss, Scaredycat Fifty years is such a substantial part of your and DH’s lives. What ~I find harder to imagine, as it has not happened to me, is the slow loss through alzheimers/dementia. xx

Your sister is so good at bearing her trials well. She’s sounds like on of those who is gifted with “making the best” of her life as it is.

(As regards the namesake, well at least I shall remember her name. 🙄)
Agatha did not go home with little A, my friends DGD, but can stay there for future visits unless my croc does not materialise from Amazon.

Friend is good with my tiny weeny, one has few friends one can let in on the secret…

Its nice to get photos their holiday, HVDY. Is it a good place they are staying at?
It’s nice that DH goes out and - chats! - with son2. I hope you manage to get Jaffa to the vets tomorrow as Jaffa isnt getting a lot better.

I listened/watched a few Teskey Brothers songs: good rhythm, eye candy, quality blues.

I’m glad you won your struggle to drive Doodle when is became needs must.

Nothing can be the same as holding and being held when that has been an important part of your life, with another, all are different in that way. I guess I clutch a HWB partly for that contact bit and like furry comforts around. Bests with the collagen!
I’m glad your church has had to cover: not too long now, as it’s getting through August to September.

Aw EllieAnne: that message must have meant a great deal. Clearly she is happy with what you did caring for the cats (she doesnt need that scary night details!) and leaving her stuff around as she like it.

Phew, a horrible last bit of the journey tho I wish for that rain…

Well sadly it was as you expected at home. Old moaner, frankly. One shouldn’t say such things but…he really isn’t kind to you.

Hoping to see other BD’s in soon.

nadateturbe this morning I had my ECG (just a meds check one, all good) but it was a the end of the CFS/ME centre and I just wished you had a chance to attend it as its pleasant and well staffed (tho a waiting list)xx

Scaredycat I'm very sorry to hear about your dear friend dying.
Doodle I feel so sad for you.
Sending you a big hug.

I got home after eight. I had to leave as soon as she got in because I was tired and didn’t want to be too late. But she sent me a nice message.
The last bit of the journey was difficult with torrential rain and water on the road.
So dh first words were about how sore his leg is and how he could hardly drive for his blood test.
And the fridge is nearly empty, no bread( he has his own gluten free supply) and the toilet is filthy.
Welcome home.

Sweetpeasue I don’t like driving. I never had. DH used to do it all. Then when he wasn’t able to walk I had to take over. I would suggest that even though you are nervous about the new car it would be good to practice in it so you feel more comfortable. DH and I went on holiday to Norfolk one year in a brand new car I’d never driven. DH hurt his back and couldn’t drive so I had to drive all the way home.
HVDY I do have a good social life and lots of lovely friends. I am very lucky but that doesn’t stop the hurt, I’ve been crying tonight because I just want to hold DH again and be with him. It never goes away. Poor Jaffa hope he’s ok.
Wyllow thanks for the advice. I’ve been on collagen for two months now and I’m cautiously optimistic.
We have coped well at church. Only had two services when we didn’t have a vicar, One of the local curates has been covering for us most of the time as has a lovely retired lady priest.
Scaredycat I’m so sorry about your friend. So sad his wife doesn’t realise but maybe a blessing for her in a way.
Sorry about your sisters leg ulcer, they can take a long time to heal. Do so hope your niece gets treated soon.
Ellie Anne are you home now.?
Sleep well all

Wyllow3 Glad the WhatsApp thing was resolved. Is your leg any better today?

EllieAnne I expect you're home now. You did your daughter a huge favour. Hope you'll be able to do something nice for yourself now.

ScaredyCat How sad that your friend's husband died without her being aware of it. Just as well, really, that she doesn't know. He had been ill for some time, hadn't he? Your sister is a fighter and gets on as best as she can. Ulcers can take absolutely ages to heal (some never do), but I hope your sister's leg improves. Good nutrition will help. No, not all men like to talk - my husband is like that. He could go all day without saying much at all. His dad and my dad were the same, too.

How's everyone else been? I did some shopping and went to the carwash, Son1 and family have sent a lot of photos of their holiday. DH and Son2 are out for a couple of drinks this evening, which is nice. Jaffa has been sneezing and snotty all last night and today. Couldn't get an appointment at the vet's but will take him tomorrow. Listening to The Teskey Brothers (blues music). Hope ALL BDers have a restful night. x

Hi all
Doodle- my niece has started to make a noise now so hopefully the Op should materialise soon.
We had a roast too but it was a bit hot in the kitchen, it seemed ages since I,d done any real cooking.
I,ll see my friend tomorrow - so want her to have had some encouraging news.
Today we went to see my friend with dementia and Alzheimer’s . Apparently she has been quite cross lately and was happy to see us with her Brother and Sister in law. Sadly though the news came through that her DH had passed away this morning. She had no idea but we all felt so sad but also relieved as he has had a terrible last year. They have been my friends for 50 years and he was a massive part of our life.
Good idea to see a private physio - knees are quite complex aren’t they.
SweetPeaSue- yes I,m in awe of my friend she is so brave.
Maybe your DH just wants to drive his new car for himself. If push came to shove you,d be able to drive it but you won’t have to.
HVDY- you are a living example of whistling a happy tune- your clients must have loved you. You are one brave lady.
My Sister is doing OK but the Ulcer on her leg from the hospital after her Hip Op is still having to be dressed every week and often painful. Her hip is not always comfortable either. I think it must be the effects of the myeloma. But she battles on and uses a little rollator and is such a good person. Thank you for asking.
Your Brother obviously enjoys chatting with you - that’s quite something. Not all men like a good chat.
Hope Jaffa is OK.
Wyllow- I,ll watch out for those Almond Magnums- you can’t be too careful!
Glad you sorted out your Quaker worry albeit a bit late.
A quiet Gym session is a good way to calm down for you I think. Nice to have a name sake.
GDL will love Agatha just the same and I,m sure Agatha will love her too.
Take it easy Wyllow and it’s not always necessary to worry about teeny weeny you getting out sometimes- we all have a mini me inside at times.
Ellie Anne- hope you are home safe now.
Love to all.x

Tomorrow you will go home EllieAnne and I hope things are OK with DD when she returns.
And.. stay safe on your long drive and have breaks… I hope the traffic is reasonably clear.

Its sounds like that sleep was well needed, HVDY. I hope that Jaffa responds quickly to his medication.

Ah, the characters one has built up for oneself in order to conceal depression - its necessary to a point but not if its all the time (in a way, thats what happened to me HVDY - the character just totally broke down and the real Wyllow is often teeny weeny inside. Probably true for a lot of use and many others.
Hey you did well - 4 hours with your brother. I’m glad he did talk about his wife however. You never know it might help. You are right, it is getting dark earlier, but not too much yet. Reflecting that when I go on holiday later in September it will be dark by 8pm. I will have to try and get up early to make the most of the day.

It seems as if your Aunt is settling that bit more, Sweetpeasue I think the wave goodbye was a sign that she has accepted you coming and then going, as she seems to have stopped asking you to go home. The staff seems pretty good there. I can understand the cuppa. It’s what she’s always done - made guests a cuppa. And a lovely answer. And good for the weight. Slowly does it, you’ll get there.

I guess DH really needs to feel he still can do it - he’ll have to find that out for himself? If it’s really too hard to do long long journeys then in the future hire a car when you get there (trouble is, public transport isn’t good, is it). And use the car for local stuff.

Scardeycat? It’s definitely even lower temperatures on the way, even some…rain. I’m glad it perked you up a bit. It did me. Thats more like it - a bit of housework the chat with Sis - how is she? Good for your niece, pestering them at last.

Will keep my fingers crossed with you.

Attacking magnums are a well known phenomena, you know. In my house, if they are in the fridge, the almond ones always attack first.

It looks like we have an excellent collection of daftness in here. Doc sis isn’t daft, she’s on the serious side, I have some good daftness amongst gym friends.

I think finding a good physio quickly is an excellent idea, Doodle. You need to know if its a good idea to as it were push yourself a bit or use ice or anything else they might suggest.
My personal “go to” for gentle massaging is high quality arnica ointment. Especially with wintergreen in (“deep heat” feeling).
It’s nice for your hands that apply it to your knees. It can’t do any harm - you never know it might help.
A plethora of birthdays there, this week! Yes, it’s hard not to feel “filled up” by a roast. Mmmm, the apricot roast and so on..yummy. We can draw a veil over the cake….

How is the church coping without a vicar at the moment?

Thats the trouble with going out and seeing family and feeling close then..home alone..can feel worse. Understood xxx

I had a troubled night and morning for various reasons after a latish WhatsApp (not the usual suspect, out of the blue) but it did get resolved - I was too tired for going to Quaker local meeting, that’s 3 or 4 weeks away now

- the trouble got resolved by 1ish.

Yes, crocodile Agatha is ordered and due soon. It looks just like the one before, but dear DGD L wont know the difference visually as long as it has a pink maw and white felt teeth.

I just said fatigue due to super day yesterday excuse - as indeed it was 🙂.

But hooray hooray I got to the gym at last. Sunday afternoon is quiet and chilled with the same people, there is a lady I chat to with the same name, spelt the same, as me!

The leg is thankful for the exercises, but it informed me later more would be needed and I can go Monday and Tuesday.

A quiet Quaker Zoom made my day finally, later.

The washing up is piled up but since no one else generally sees it I don’t mind ☺️.

SweetpeaSue My clients thought I was outgoing and happy all the time - little did they know that for the most part, I was playing a character of some kind and had depression all those years. I'm glad your aunt seems to be more settled. All the people I've ever known with dementia have asked about relatives (in later stages, they've asked about parents) - ones who had died. I used to lie and say they'd gone shopping/to work/on holiday. Anything except telling them the person was dead. I saw my brother for 4 hours, chatted nonstop about our childhoods (he was 12 when I was born, so we don't share the same memories). He seemed ok.

ScaredyCat Nice that you met your daughter and GD. Golf is quite energetic, isn't it? How's your sister now? I'm glad the weather is better. It's been 21 here today. Magnums are my husband's favourites. I prefer the soft Cornettos. Hope your niece will be able to have her operation soon. It's disgusting that she's been waiting all this time.

Doodle You've got such a great social life. Sunday roast sounds good. It's Son2's stepdaughter's birthday today (she's 16). She asked for gift vouchers for Boots or Waterstones, so I gave her one that can be used at several places, including those two.

Had long chats with my brother. He misses his wife (it's only been 5 months since she died and it may be up to another 18 months before a memorial service will be held). Jaffa was wheezing all last night, but he's been taking his medication ok - it's a powder to mix in with his food - I'll ring the vet tomorrow anyway, as his claws need trimming. It starts getting dark early now, doesn't it? Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

Scaredycat Those Magnums have a life of their own dont they? Do hope your friend gets some good news from her Oncologist tomorrow ,she must be so nervous . Its amazing how people cope with such traumatic events - puts our worries into perspective.
The holiday worries me too because of DH driving so far with his hip - he insists taking the new car which I should have learnt to drive by now but have been nervous about.
Not before time that your neice gets her op and I hope she'll be much more comfortable afterwards.
Doodle My favourite cooked dinner is a roast with ,of course, roast potatoes. Not done a 'gravy dinner' for quite a while this summer- too blooming hot . I do feel sorry for the cooks in hotels, cafes and bakeries in this hot weather.
Worries are worse kept to yourself and that must be so difficult to have no one to talk it over with when you need to, especially on evenings. Sometimes you cant tell family either.
I do hope a private physiotherapy appt can help your knees , you suffer so much with them.

Love to all and wishing a peaceful night.

Wyllow new vicar doesn’t come till September.
Sorry about your leg. My knees cause me a problem. Exercise seems to hurt them more. I’m going to try for a private physio appointment so I can find out what is should and shouldn’t do.
Sweetpeasue I still worry a lot. It’s just harder without DH here to talk to. You’ve got a lot to cope with at the moment. I’ve been out for yet another meal. My DILs birthday this time. Lovely roast. Delicious but so filling. I’m so tired tonight I must go to bed soon.
Ellie Anne your daughter will be pleased you looked after the cats. She probably wouldn’t want you tidying things. Hope you have a sav journey home
HVDY I had a lovely rolled poke with apricot roast and lots of veg and roast potatoes etc. It was really well cooked and so nice. No room for pudding but we did go home and have chocolate cake 😱. Hope you had a nice time with your brother,
Hope poor little Jaffa feels better soon .
Sweetpeasue so sad about your aunt. At least if she seems reasonably content and happy that’s all youcan ask for,
So hard to see people we love and care for age like that,
Scaredycat I hate it when I visit family and then go home. I miss them so much, Hope your friend gets on with the oncologist ok. Be good if your niece got her op soon. Can’t believe she’s been kept waiting all this time.

SweetPeaSue- DIL not dial!!!!

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- glad your Dial is bearing up - she must miss her Mum very much.
6 lbs is a lot to lose - you,ve done well.
Try not to worry too much about the Welsh holiday - it sounds a lovely place and it,ll be so nice to be in the beautiful scenery. Your Son and family will understand if you feel like a bit of a rest at times - DGS will keep them occupied.
It’s always sad leaving our loved ones after a visit but most times they are OK and it is us who have a head full of emotions.
We are seeing our friend in her care home tomorrow.
HVDY- I got our boys the cooling mats - they sometimes deign to put their heads on them but basically they’re not impressed.
Yesterday we had a walk to get our meds and a coffee on the way back. Still very hot so we just chilled all afternoon.
Today is a bit better so have done some housework ,had a chat with my Sister and then out with DD and DGD3 while DH golfed.
I had a magnum jump out of the fridge at me last night- couldn’t fight it off😀
Hope DB is happy to see you this afternoon.
Ellie Anne- I understand you wanting to see DD home safely. I hope the break has done her good. Don’t worry about the house that’s how she likes it. Well done keeping the cats safe.
Doodle- those quiet days are a tonic sometimes- especially as,that heat has depleted everyone’s energy.
Hope you have had a lovely meal with your family and that your DiL enjoyed her Birthday.
Wyllow- Daft is definitely good. My Mum was brilliant at being daft and my Sister and I have inherited her talent. In fact,we’re all a bit daft.
That was a lovely day you enjoyed. The sort you have needed for so long.
Agatha was a big hit- so sweet when little ones fall for a ,new to them, cuddly toy. Yes quick order another Agatha in case there’s a run on them🐊
You had a lot to think about in the quiet afterwards.
Sounds like a plan to get the guy at the Gym to help you with your leg.

My niece hopefully will have her Op very soon- she has been on the phone every day asking about it. Better late than never.
Tomorrow my friend sees her Oncologist - I feel very nervous for her but keeping my fingers crossed. Will see her Tuesday.

Love to all - mentioned or notxxx

EllieAnne Sure your DD will be pleased to see her kitchen and bathroom cleaned. Hope the church service was good this morning. Must be a little strange not being at your usual one.
HVDY Hope the meds sort Jaffa out. Your clients must have really looked forward to seeing you and have their days brightened. Ive been to see my aunt this morning. She was delighted to see us and I managed to keep up a conversation with light things though it strayed at times when she wanted to know where her youngest sister and BIL were ( they'd died ) . She still wasnt sure exactly where she was . When we got up to leave she was really troubled as she said she hadnt made us a cuppa. She told one of the staff too. They said maybe next time. I just gave her a hug and said Id not come for a drink ,only to see her. She was knocking on the glass door as I was signing out to wave though seemed happy enough. I so hope she stayed that way and we hadnt unsettled her. It would be nearly dinner time so that would soon distract her. Felt so sad when I came away.
Hope you have a good visit with your DB.

SweetpeaSue Your holiday at the boat house will be lovely, particularly with your son and his wife for a while. I've always been daft - when I did care work, I used to like to make the clients smile. Hope you and your DH have a decent day today.

Doodle Eating out is great. Hope you enjoy a good meal.

EllieAnne You've done so well to help your daughter. Some people like a lot of clutter around. Hope your day goes ok.

Got up at 6 but went back to bed and didn't wake until 9. Jaffa's sneezing and very snotty, so I've started him on the medication I get from the vet. It hasn't put him off his food, anyway. Visiting my brother later. Hope ALL BDers have a nice, cool day x

No doodle . Dd arrives back in Gatwick late tonight so will drive up tomorrow. I could leave before she gets home but because I worry I d rather know she was home.
The house is still a mess. I usually do more but she doesn’t like me interfering so what’s the point.
I keep the kitchen and bathroom clean.
There’s been a bit of rain overnight.
Will go to church this morning and get through the day as best I can.

Doodle Yes, I know you understand those nights of worry.
Much better to enjoy yourself with friends and eat what you fancy when you're invited out for your birthday. You so need that comfort.
Wyllow Sounds like that sciatica nerve might be missing the gym then- if that helps . Yes ,Daft is certainly better than completely logical , me thinks.

Daft is good

(what a relief to "come out of that closet")

Well you've had a busy time HVDY a quiet catch up day sounds good. Just as well there is an animal carer to hand.

Well that does sound a special place, Sweetpeasue. Intriguing.

You have been busy, Doodle. When it's hot, is it cool in your church? BTW, isn't it your new vicar arriving around now? Have they started with you yet? How is it going?

My left leg is bothering me quite a bit, it's partly as I am waiting for inserts and partly as I have not been to the gym since Tuesday. (lots of bits added up, +sciatic nerve if I don't exercise))

Yes I know I should do more at home but....it's really not getting better and there is a super expert trainer at the gym, may shell out just to egg me on a bit.