Black Dog 30

HVdY you do all you can for your brother. He doesn’t help himself. Hope you’ve had a good day. Have you plans for the weekend. I’m going to an outdoor amphitheater to hear some choirs singing, hope it’s not too hot,
Ellie Anne I hope you have a better weekend
Are you seeing your grandchildren?

Wyllow it often happens like that a good day being followed by one where you feel down. Sorry the cafe wasn’t too good. Your choice next time to pick somewhere better.
Yes I love the remains of castles especially in out of the way places although Corfe Castle is a favorite. Beautiful place.
Our new vicar was apparently approved by all on the interview panel and I have been told that they think he/she will fit in well with our church. I hope so because it is a really special environment.
Nanny I can imagine it must be hard to move to a new estate when you’re used to something more open. Hope you find the right place for you. How is your little grandson? Do you see much of him?
Scaredycat we are looking forward to having a vicar again although the team has done a wonderful job of looking after us during the interregnum. We have continued all our usual services and not lost any of the congregation which is good. We have such lovely people here I’m sure who ever it is will fit in.
I’ve put in a lot of weight and I can feel it. I need to lose some for my knees and general health. I have never weighed so much. I think a couple of years of inactivity have led me to this now I’m to tired and too out of condition to do much about it other than diet.
Sweetpeasue I bet you love having a cuddle with Fluffball. I do the same when I visit our son’s dogs. Mind you, when a German shepherd sits in your lap you know it 🤣🤣

EllieAnne- thinking of youxx

Hi all
Nanny2507- So good to see you again. What a shame your move has turned out not to be the right place for you. You,re brave to to decide to move again but you need to feel ‘at home’
next time. Perhaps a small,older place in a large village would be better. Just make sure all vital amenities are easily accessible.
In the meantime you have your lovely furry family.Cats bring such joy and unconditional love- they are lucky to have you too.We adopted 2 rescue cats last year and love them more than I can say.
Wyllow- glad you liked the photo- maybe nail polish next time!
Walking in the steps of the past inhabitants etc is the perfect phrase for being in ancient buildings. Some are so affecting it feels like they are looking at us too.
You dealt well with your friend and the feelings invoked on your drive. Yes next time visit the lovely peaceful places and maybe find a nice pub.
Those thieving gremlins are at it again- you are good at outwitting them though!!
HVDY- you do all you can for your brother - but he must also help himself. Your life is precious and you are not at all at fault for wanting to live it your way and enjoy it.
You describe Sheringham as I feel- just like England as it used to be as is a lot of Norfolk. It’s my home county.
You do get good meals at your day centre- your DH sounds like he enjoys the sort of food mine does.
Have a lovely time in my lovely county.
SweetPeaSue- I,m glad you feel able to ask for help if needed- the thought of being as we were is always in the background when we get low.
Oh those ID photos . I look like a ‘Wanted’ poster on my driving licence and passport!! A miserable old bat!!
Doodle- It must be daunting for a new Vicar to start with a new congregation. I,m sure that he or she will be given a very warm welcome from your lovely Church.
Maybe you have put on a bit of weight but it’s better than being like a stick insect!! I weigh the same as I did 40 years ago but have lots of wobbly bits now I,m older. When I got ill a few years ago I was 7 and a half stone- that’s not nice either😀
So nice that you and your friend laugh a lot- that is treasure indeed.
Today my friend has had an appointment with her consultant - a crucial one and she was so apprehensive. Wish I could wave a magic wand. Still no message from her.

Love to all mentioned and everyone else who needs a kind word

Nanny2507 Aw ,sounds like the rescue kitten has found her new mum. Those cuddles are precious arent they. I dont have a cat but love cuddles from my sons little dog. Do hope you find somewhere you like soon - no good stopping there if its not for you.

Lots of snuggles there, nanny2507. What characters!
Yes, you do right to seek the right compromise (more quiet, but still with access to whats needful). May you find your "you" home as soon as you can.

Actually, I dont now where you are, but there are some nice older 1930's or 1960's suburbs - like mine - really really quiet, but bits of them are near whats needed. Just be careful there is not loads and loads of work needed doing on the house you buy.

Hi sweet I love my cats very much. I love having a cuddle. 1 is a rescue kitten and was sadly taken away from mum far too early. He loves to snuggle on my dressing gown. He suckles it and pads his little paws. He cries until I put it on so he can snuggle but it's been too hot.

Hi willow Yes all different! 1 taps me very gently in the morning to wake me up, one claws my face to wake me up and 1 just sits on my hip in bed at night! How is love them though

Hi doodle My son took binks when he moved out as he was so bonded with a cat that is his. Although it broke my heart I had to do what was right for binks. I see him when I visit and he's like a velcro cat while im there 2 of the 3 cats get along really well. My OG cat is the odd one out he doesnt like the other 2, but they just bumble along. The area here is just too busy. I moved to a fairly new estate from a very rural area to future proof my health and old age and I hate it. I am looking for more rural, but not completely cut off, areas.

I did like the “Cat and Fan” photo, Scaredycat. Simple pleasures. What colour did you choose for their nails? 😉
That kindness at your darkest hour - I’m glad it is lodged in your memory. It’s much more talked of now, thank goodness, imagine the days when it was seen as shame.

Hello nanny2507, how nice to see you. Well, I say well done for realising it wasnt the right choice and getting the courage to move again x
3 cats? I bet they all have different characters.

I agree with you HVDY. You have your clutch of those wanting and needing you, and you cannot work wonders, and seeing him as you do is definitely good enough.
Jaffa has the right idea, out into the fresh early air, then a long nap. Were there any activities today at the centre?

Just hoping EllieAnne that the hymn singing event lifts your spirits a little. I sing along to some music on the radio and am looking for a teacher, I am so very rusty. What Scaredycat said better than I can.

Hey well done there Sweetpeasue for doing the other side! I hope you are both OK afterwards. I am glad to hear that DH finds the ibuprofen helpful. Good insisting, there!

I “hear you” and understand how you feel about going down a road (MH person help) that you have gone down before. It sounds like you have some good tools for self-understanding and as you say it’s putting them into practice.
Oh I do hate those photos, they always turn out grim. I look like a prison officer on mine (and kept the old one). Yes DH is right re black and white and of course they are tiny on the licence.

So are you having a change in vicar, Doodle? Uncertainty there. But they will inherit a really good situation, from all you have written. Yes, ‘walking the in steps” rings a bell with me too. One imagines the monks at work, the hundreds of years of births, marriages, deaths, the patience building, the old days of painted lovely interiors that Henry 8th did away with….there is an old abbey near me, 13th C, and a chunk of it (the sort of church bit) still in use for services sometimes. I really must go. The grounds retain the foundations and there’s a guide to what was where. Henry 8th “dissolved” it and it went to a rich landowner.

It was a tough time with friend today. She wanted to go to a cafe she had heard of, and it wasn’t very nice. There was also what I knew would be tough - she shared some very sad bits/background. I’m glad I know, but the place just happened to have echoes for me. I wont tell her that, but make sure next week we go somewhere with more lovely High Peak to see.
Then I went to the gym, very tired but did some: and went an left my mobile there, but didn’t find out for sure it was there for some time. (Its is)
My landline packed up, and I had to ask my sister (via whatsApp on the computer) to ring them then ring me. Duh. 🙄
Nice, short, grounding Q Zoom. Made up for not being at the little group but no way face D!

It was tougher today but I often get a difficult day following a good one: now listening to music on R3 Unwind which is unpredictable but at its best works well for me as companion.

Oh Nanny that’s a shame. Did you move to be near your son and family? Where are you planning to move to now? Do you. Still have Binks? Who else?
Sweetpeasue yes we all love our Wednesday service. Just hope our new vicar who ever it is will keep it going.
You have reason to worry about your Dh and his health plus your own problems. If you get a bit depressed it’s understandable. I’m sure you looked fine in your photo. I’m lucky I was able to use the same photo as last time. Several years ago I looked much better than now.
Ellie Anne sounds better news for your Dh. Hope you enjoy tonight’s singing.
HVDY love the sound of your dinner today, I’m getting fed up with being so fat. I can’t understand why I’m not losing weight, Dh and I loved going to those sort of places too. I love castles but prefer the more derelict ones than those still in use, I love to walk in the steps of those that have gone before.
Scaredycat Yuki has such lovely fur. Don’t blame him for hogging the fan. Yes my friend is lovely. I’m very lucky. We do have some laughs together. Love the sound of your worry bin. What a good idea.
Wyllow you sound much more positive today. So good to hear. Hope the Quakers support you and you can relax a bit in their company.

EllieAnne I hope the steroids help your husband soon. Do they know what might have caused it? I've got an autoimmune condition (Vasculitis), which the GP said was caused by a particular BP pill, Lercanidopine. Is the weather any better where you are? Hope you enjoyed the hymns tonight.

SweetpeaSue Sheringham is a lovely old-fashioned seaside place, like England used to be years ago. When we went before, we found a lovely Indian restaurant and a great pub for lunch. We'll be having breakfast at the place we're staying. It's a pub/restaurant right on the seafront. Those photo booths don't produce flattering photos. The light is too harsh. My passport photo is awful. I look really old and ugly.

Nanny2507 What a shame you don't like your house. Is it the house or area you don't like? 3 cats! Do they all get on?

Oh Nanny2507 Im really sorry to hear you're not happy with your new home. You must be quite certain , for whatever the reasons, that you cant stay to actually put yourself through another move. Its such a shame as youve been through a lot to get where you are.
Glad about your cats though - they must be good company for you. You must have noticed that there are at least 3 BDs here that have cats in their lives.
Dont think you bore us with anything- sometimes its just good to exchange a few kind words.

Hi sweet unfortunately I really dont like my new house. Reasons that I won't bore you with. Its actually back on the market. I now have 3 cats! X

Doodle The mid-week service sounds really nice. I think it must feel very special being a much smaller congregation and more personal somehow. Yes, it certainly was 'teamwork 'yesterday and a little more today-- finished off the other side of it. Too much all in one go. Hope youve had a good day today, and its been cooler for you.
EllieAnne Oh you must have felt a little anxious the other day going to the wrong place. Its a bit nerve-racking racing around to where you need to be and hoping you're not late for the appt. Glad you got to see your friend the other day - its important that you try and keep some of your own life and see your friends. Hope you enjoy the hymn singing event tonight.
HVDY I had to look up Sheringham as Ive never been . It does look a great place with a beach too and a big country park. Glad the ibuprofen is helping you too. DH only took it at odd times like a painkiller but its since I nagged him into taking it more regularly that hes noticed a difference. Oh, nice dinner there at the day- centre.
Nanny2507 Hello - nice to see you in again. I think you moved the last time we heard. I do hope youve settled in now as I know it was such a huge decision for you to make. Hope you still have one of your cats too.
Wyllow Im a bit up and down though down quite a bit. Nowhere near like I was when I was under MH care though. At times when Im really low I get scared to think I might slip back there but I need to believe I can cope- that Im capable - as once I ask for help its a short step to falling back further. Honestly , Im nowhere near how I was but I would ask for help if I really need it. Its kind of you to care.
Hope you had a lovely time on the high peak area with your friend today. Im sure the air must be much fresher now the temperatures have dropped a little. It was almost chilly here yesterday by the sea and overcast though sun has come out today.
Scaredycat You are so right - its pointless worrying about something beyond our control - I need to separate the worries ,as you say, and a worry bin sounds like a good thing to have. I wish it was easy to sort them out though- takes some time to recognise which worrys we might be able to solve? 🤔 and how. Oh what a contented Yuki and how clever to pick that place to cool. Can imagine their whiskers blowing.

Did something today I was dreading and putting off. I needed a photo to send away for my new driving licence as Ill be 70later this year. So make up on , hair brushed and into one of those booths. Result -- very stern miserable face. Well at least its done now. DH said the photo will come back adjusted to black and white - needn't have bothered with the blusher then -- Ill look like a corpse!

Love to all and those not in at present.x

Hvdy there doesn’t seem to be a test for it . It’s diagnosed by low platelets. Results today were good.
I didn’t go out today. Changed the bed did some washing and worked in the garden. Just didn’t feel like making the effort to see anyone. Tonight I am going to a hymn singing event in a local church.

EllieAnne* Is that diagnosis made by doing a blood test? I hope your husband will get on alright. Perhaps after the appointments next week, you'll be able to decide on what to do about the cat-sitting. Did you see your friend today?

Wyllow3 My brother might go to places with me, but (and I know it sounds bad) I've got my life sorted out and I'd like him to find friends of his own. His life is very different to mine (he alienates people because of his persona). Hope you and your friend had a nice day out. It's been very warm here (28).

My Son2 and DIL love going to cathedrals, museums and castles. Yuki looks very comfortable there. Jaffa went outside at 5, sat on the patio until 7.30am then came in and slept for about 8 hours! We've been to Sheringham once before. It's like how England was, years ago, which is what we like about it.

Good day at the day centre (they call it a luncheon club). Turkey, stuffing, mash & 2 veg, then banoffee pie. DH went to a pub and had fish & chips. Hope everyone has been ok x

Hello all, Thought I'd pop on and say hello. I hope you are all well. Xx

Yuki catching the breeze!!

Sorry!
SweetPeaSue- when she is distressed but that is par for the course.
HVDY- Kai is the more outgoing one with a bit more confidence.Yuki is the sweetest soul but not quite so in your face. They,ve had their nails done today and a bit of a tidy up round their pants and ruffs. The lady does my DD 2 then comes here.
Have a lovely time in Sheringham- it’s one of my childhood places. My Grandad ised to take us there in his little,car.its a nice old fashioned place. Cromer is lovely too and just next door.
People were so kind to me and my 2 surviving children - I will never forget it so I try and practice a bit of play it forward- just like you do. Thank you for kind words.
Doodle- your friend sounds such a lovely lady- you will help each other on your holiday . Nice that you knew each others DHs - kind and gentle memories made together.
Yes my DH has always come to the Church yard since we met.
He tidies it up for me now and listens if I need to talk about that time. Thank you for the hug- I love a hug.
EllieAnne- glad the consultant was pleasant- it does help doesn’t it. I think you would feel better if you didnt have the cat sitting to do. Your DD will have digested the news now and have an idea of your dilemma.
Although there is no love involved you would know you had done the best you could for him. Once there is a proper diagnosis you will be able to work out how to proceed.
Make sure you still do the things you enjoy and keep seeing your friends. Your world may be a different shape for a while but it’s a two way problem to solve not just yours - you do enough.

Love to all - Nadateturbe,Purple Pixie,Candy, thinking of you too.

Hi all
Wyllow- the cats love a fan and their whiskers blow in the breeze! I too love programmes about history and far away places . Don’t think my DH had ever bothered with history when he was young but I have trawled him through more Castles and cathedrals than you could shake a stick at!!
I do hope you and your disabled friend have had a lovely day .
The hills and dales have such a power to lift your spirits. I used to love Edale years ago when the children were little and we camped.
We saw my Sisters hills on the news the other night. So sad but nature always heals itself.
SweetPeaSue- I was a terrible worrier for most of my life. If it’s a worry you can do,something about then yes try and sort your head a bit . If it is one totally out of your control- put it in the worry bin.
If you feel you need to up your ADs it will only be to help you over this difficult patch - we know they help don’t we!!
Wow that hedge was hard work . We have to have people do it for us now. You must have felt well pleased with yourselves - with good reason.
So glad your Aunt seems more settled. She must feel more at ease with everyone now and each day it all becomes more familiar. Of course there will be times when she is dis

Oh, I'm glad you have something to watch things on, and that you will still see your friend. Look like it will take some time to diagnose DH.

Wyllow I have my iPad and I’m familiar with it and though it’s not big I can watch stuff on it.
He messaged dd yesterday with the info from dr but hasn’t heard back yet. The cat sitting is from8th Aug I think.
I’m praying that she realises there is a problem and arranges something else.
I’m having a coffee with friend on Sunday after church instead.
Next week he has 2 appointments. One is just for bloods so he can go to that on his own now that he knows where the clinic is.i
I’ll go to the one with the dr.
Looks like a nice day here but windy. My grass cutting man comes this morning so the garden will look nice,
Been awake for ages.Ill go to the library later and maybe pop in at my friend.
Have a good day everyone.

Cats know how to let go and chill better than us. Do they appreciate a fan or are there cooler spots Scaredycat?

Oh I can imagine the need for a lengthy natter with DD to catch up…oh dear….a price to pay for it. You’ve been quite a traveller, haven’t you?

Oh yes, the pleasure of revisiting the happy times photos and places been. Matter more as we get older, I think. I must admit its been the a DH or boyfriends who I’ve been with make it possible for me, I’m not confident alone far from home. I like programmes about far away and history tho.

Those memories can never be eroded -nor would one want it to be? xxx
But with what you went through, I’m so glad you have Kai to comfort after. They understand, happy, loved, cats.

Sweetpeasue it’s not a matter of there being worse people - there always are: don’t let that thought get in the way of asking to get needs met? Let them decide, let them make the choices? It’s always “tablets and talking?”. Are you afraid they will turn you down or tell you to “pull yourself together?

Yes when I ask for help there is always a struggle to know its fair to ask, or to feel its deserved. Practice I guess, of years and years, I am different now, and prepared to be let down.

Hey, well done on today’s work. You are so right about that sense of achievement.
Now, cross fingers and toes, Aunt settling in, feeling “At home” at least with some of the residents at the mini drama.

HVDY It sounds as if the “suggestions” approach doesn’t work for brother. It doesn’t work to well for me in deep depression, I want someone to “walk through the dark “ with me. (That said, I do know what the resources are, like the gym, waiting there and familiar)
So maybe what you do ie the texting and seeing fortnightly is just right.
What I did like helpers doing is just do little things like drawing my attention away from “inside” to a nice tree or decoration or just something….would he go to stuff like a photography show with you?
26 degrees is just the right temperature. Hot but not totally wearing out hot.

I did wonder if it was a mid week communion service, Doodle. A deep experience, connecting, but as you say a bit less formal than hymns and so on - then the natters after.

How extraordinary to find someone on the same floor. I’m so glad for you.

He is beginning to fail isnt he, EllieAnne? It is important not to just cancel friends by change the date, they would understand why.
Dont let your world shrink anymore than it absolutely has to. Xxx. Remember the idea of a decent lap top - that you can access the outside world with in so many ways. Is this viable?

Just watching things on BBC I player and other channels for free.

When is the cat sitting? How long have you to have to decide? DD will have to know how Dad is anyway at some point.

I’m sorry it wasn't really helpful today, but very glad indeed that the consultant was a nice lady.
(It is possible to ring their secretaries up if there is something important you forgot out of what she said. I’m not saying they are all responsive, but many are, and a significant caring question if you are at a loss - I've done it via the hospital switchboard)

Yes, today has been a lot better thank you all.
Yesterday’s agonising in the end resulted in an infusion of surprising love.
Its taken courage to get where I am and the story may not be over but its clear to me now that others no longer expect me to “Carry the can” and I need to avoid any hooks.

Tomorrow I take Quaker friend who has bad bad RA out for a drive, she cant ever get out, its a treat for us both to go into to the High Peak together down little lanes she wants to revisit.

Got on ok at hospital but no definite answer. The consultant was a very nice lady but spoke very quickly. It’s probably immune thrombocytopenia where the body’s immune system attacks the platelets. Hes to continue steroid to see if improving and more appointments next week..
We went to the wrong place first. He picks up things wrong on the phone.
He’s very dithery and slow I had to keep telling him where to go.
Wyllow you are right that I feel my world shrinking. I’ve cancelled a friend next week because of his appointment and still don’t know what to do about dd and her cats.
Thinking of you all.