Black Dog 30

HVDY you can never watch children 100% of the time. Obviously copying someone and applying cream liberally 🤣
Yes it’s emergency surgery and a big op. She’s a young fit dog so we’re hoping she pulls through. We all lover her to bits.
Wyllow I must be blessed, I don’t have any toxic people in my life that I’m aware of. Interesting descriptions of rumination and reflection. I think I’m definitely a ruminator.
Oh I loved my high heels. I had slim legs then. Now I couldn’t balance on low heels so it’s flats for me.
Scaredycat baggy flowing.lose and comfortable plus elasticated waists describes me to a T.
Thank you for your prayer for Gen. I think she’s being cared for in five star luxury. They probably have air con.
Do hope your friend is allowed home soon. Nothing like being at home rather than hospital,
I wear Skechers now. So comfortable have a nice time at the pub.
Sweetpeasue hope you’ve had a good day. I’ve been out most of the day. Coffee with friends and weekly shop.
Had a few tears earlier on. A magazine arrived for DH.
Ellie Anne Nadateturbe thinking of you and your too Nanny and Whiff

Hi all
Wyllow- my Sister is an old hippy. We were so different when younger. But glamour is out the window now so baggy,flowing,loose and comfortable is my style too .
I think there is a compromise- accept and feel the sadness but dwelling on it doesn’t make it go away. Your new strategy will help. Yellow and grey rock behaviour makes so much sense - I think we have all unwittingly used it at times.
As for stockings - I went to a Catholic Grammar school and we had to wear Lyle stockings with suspenders!! There weren’t tights then. Can you imagine all those skinny little wrinkled legs . Hope you are having a good day.
SweetPeaSue- my pushchair was double width and I used to squeeze all threee into it.
My friend can’t come home til she’s had a blood test- no news yet.
So pleased you are going to see your Book Club lady. Try not to get nervous as she obviously wants to see you. She could turn out to be a really good friend.
10 minutes to the Coast- I wish.
Doodle. Ah poor dog she must feel awful in the heat bet she doesn’t know what to do with herself. A prayer to St Francis for her.
I must confess I did drop off for a few minutes in the cinema despite the horrendous battle noises going on. They are sooo comfortable.
I still miss stilettos - Skechers now😩
It’s still warm isn’t it - hope you have some nice things to do this weekend.
HVDY- love the story of your DS1 powdering upstairs!! My friend brought her tiny toddler round once and she put my kids toys in the toilet! It wasn’t her fault we should have shit the door properly. My DD wasn’t happy to see her Barbie swimming.
Oh saying goodbye to your shoes must have been sad- weren’t they lovely. Sorry you got the Plantar fasciitis- don’t really know what that is but it sounds painful.
What a lovely boy Jaffa is - so well loved and so loving I. Return.
EllieAnne- hope you have the best weekend you can .

Love to all. We,re now going up the village green pub to meet my friend with dementia and her son. So better tidy myself up a bit. Xx

I meant long hippy dresses = no leg covering needed.

A free day as regards commitments, and I'm still very tired/weary so have to make good choices for mind and body.

My goodness, never wore stockings and suspenders. Tights had just been invented when I reached the age where it was an issue. I tried a suspender belt once and that was enough! No....

TMI - went straight to tampons as well. Mum gave me the old fashioned options yuk and I saw an advert in "Jackie" all discreet "Nurse someone or other" for free Lillets and That Was It.

They started just when it was the time we stopped wearing knee length socks at school. The things I went out to if I had a dress or skirt it was tights or bare legs. I played in a Youth Orchestra a good place to meet boys but played the cello so it was trousers. (Levi cords were "in" then.
I don't even recall shaving my legs until such older either. or anyone who did!

But then, I didnt go to places where it mattered as wore trousers so much and in the hippy 70's it was longer hippy flowing skirts or dresses

Wyllow3 The Manager organises things - I call it a day centre, but it's listed as a Luncheon Club. I used to do that job, 2017-2019. Glad you had a good Quaker Zoom. I used to always wear heels because of being so short! I always wore stockings and suspenders, too - I didn't own a pair of tights until I was about 45. Trousers were only ever for work as a Carer. I get very anxious about planned things - Where will I park/What will I talk about/What if I make a fool of myself in some way.

I slept quite well (only up once). As I opened my eyes, Jaffa was sitting only inches away, staring at me . He's a lovely cat. A day of cleaning and shopping today.

That was nice change in the pub, HVDY. Who organises the day centre?

I had to laugh at the golden syrup episode, Sweetpeasue. Mum may not have thought it funny….good luck at the weigh in.

Well (officially, as I have learnt from Them who Know) -

“Rumination” is a passive, cyclical, and negative fixation on past mistakes or distress,

reflection is an active, goal-directed examination of experiences aimed at learning, gaining insight, and finding resolution.

I have managed to catch myself at it and transform rumination as I used to do it all the time or mostly, since understanding what it is or at least “name it” in my head.

I also get nervous at arranged things unless very familiar. Supposing I Let Them Down..supposing they are expecting me to be other than I am…

Well you are wise to keep Fluffball away from the ducks.

So we have a collection of stiletto wearers in BD’s, Doodle. Glam pasts!
Well 3 hours in the cinema, not for you. Ice cream for dogs! Goodness me. A twisted tummy sounds awful.

No, grey and yellow rock are modern psychological terms as to how to deal with with people who are really toxic for you, and actually quite useful tools. They arrive out of assertiveness training really. Google “grey and yellow rock techniques”.

I had a long sleep in the day then went then a very peaceful Quaker Zoom.

SweetpeaSue Golden syrup on a carpet must have been so difficult to get off! When I was pregnant with Son2, an elderly neighbour invited me to her house for a cup of tea. I took Son1 - he was 2 and a bit, and he went upstairs whilst we were chatting. I kept telling her I should go and get him, but she insisted he'd be ok up there. A bit later, she went to her bedroom, and I heard her shouting at him - he'd emptied a whole tin of talcum powder on her carpet. She didn't invite me again. You haven't eaten much today! Fluffball sounds adorable.

Doodle LG is a well-behaved child, but she found the cream (which should have been placed higher up somewhere) and thought she'd try it . She's never opened a cupboard or drawer at our house, never touches any ornaments or anything. Oh, the poor dog. That's a big surgery, isn't it? I hope she recovers well. I used to drive in 3 and 4 inch heels - until I got Plantar Fasciitis (very painful) and had to get rid of all my lovely shoes.

Sweetpeasue yes it’s DGS’s.German shepherd, she’s a little better today but still very poorly.
I’m not surprised Fluffball expects people to cuddle her. She’s very cute. Our DS2s dog sits at the table when no one’s around. He certainly thinks he’s human.
Wyllow I’ve never heard of yellow rock and grey rock are they Quaker terms?
I bet your canal walks were lovely too. Poor dog had twisted stomach. Not sure how or why but apparently common in the breed. It was emergency surgery.
HVDY how on Earth did LG manage to cover so much of herself with Sudocream? She looks so innocent and sweet.
Dog menu! Really? Well I’m not surprised. I looked in the ice cream freezer at the cafe today and half or it was ice cream for dogs.
Scaredycat it’s funny I noticed that too. Hospitals always used to have tvs but I expect they think people have i pads now so don’t need them .
I love these new cinemas with their recline seats and cup holders. Only problem is I fall asleep. 🤣
Stilettos oh yes I loved them. Used to wear them all the time. Now all my shoes are flat. Otherwise I’d fall over.

HVDY Now that menu Fluffball would love😂. Even a Sunday Roast - its great.
Thing is shes been used to getting bits when people are eating - which is bad , but I cant say anything . We dont do that here but she thinks she can join in when we go out. She thinks shes human! Plus she thinks ALL people want to stop and cuddle her - which a lot do. She just loves everyone.
EllieAnne I really dont envy you that 5hr drive. I think you said your DD doesnt have a TV either. At least the days are brighter now and hopefully you can get out a bit- assuming there are some decent walks around. Sorry you feel let down right now with some of your friends. I hope that things get better ,it might be they have a lot on at the moment.
Doodle How have you been today? Do hope its not still very hot where you are.
Thinking of you .
Nadateturbe So good to see your posts. That photo was so funny and so uplifting. You are in our thoughts too.
X

HVDY Oh how I loved that photo of LG bless her. I expect shes been used to seeing sun cream being rubbed on by everyone in this hot weather and she thought shed have a go. Must have taken a good soak to get that lot off. My mum told me when I was little I once got my hands on a tin of golden syrup and had made patterns on the carpet.
Your lunch sounded delicious. Ive had half a bacon sandwich, 1 grapefruit and some grapes and just had some porridge. I know its not the best stuff but Im trying. Wont get on scales till Saturday.
Scaredycat I wish I could have worn stilletos- never could- but I remember getting some cream heeled sandals from a catalogue and I loved them. Oh those pushchairs- do you mean those that folded in and had umbrella like handles. What a carry on lifting them into the luggage area whith a toddler in one hand . Can't remember having to do it with 2? So glad your friend is coming out of hospital- no ace like home.
I wondered what The Odyssey is like. Great cinema there you went to.
Wyllow I had to smile when you were thinking of that man's statement about not fighting unhappiness. My mind seems to often take something in and then come up with the 'buts' though I dont say anything. I analyse a lot too which causes so much prevarication.
Yrs, its can get too much at times - glad you have a meet up planned with P next Thursday. Funny Ive just had a text from that lady in our book group and arranged to meet next Thursday. I get just a little scared when Ive arranged something , dont know why.
Oh I couldn't let Fluff go into the water with the ducks - shed def chase them. Its actually more beck like than a river. Its just under 10 mins drive to the part of coast we like.

SweetpeaSue a dog menu at a pub in Sheringham. Just about everywhere there is dog-friendly

ScaredyCat Hope your friend gets back home tomorrow ok. It's not at all restful in hospital, and it's always good to get back to one's own bed. It's good that she doesn't feel ill. Like you, I wore high heels and pencil skirts - even at 9 months pregnant, I tottered about on high heels. Getting buses was no joke, was it? I used to have Son1 toddling, Son2 under one arm, pushchair and bags in the other hand - nobody used to help. Nowadays, pushchairs are wheeled straight onto a bus. The humidity is too much, isn't it? Do you get breathless? Air conditioning in the cinema is a welcome relief.

EllieAnne Glad your husband seems to be not too bad. 5 hours of driving is a hell of a lot. Are you going to do it?

Wyllow3 Son1's girls (15 and 11) wear baggy sweatshirts, jogging bottoms and trainers, although they like to use skincare products (not make-up). Softplay places were around in Nottingham when my boys were about 10 and 7 (now 45 and 42), but by then, they were a bit too big for them.
Your cleaning lady sounds very friendly and obliging. Quaker D sounds like one of those people who realises she behaved badly but now goes to the other extreme of trying to be friends - which is all a bit fake.

Nice change to have lunch at the pub - the menu had several things on it. I had a roast turkey dinner, then chocolate fudge cake.

😉 At that age HVDY DGD2 was trying out sparkly make up. She now is into baggy clothes and plays football. I don’t expect the sparkly bit will ever go away, I hope not.

I hope you have enjoyed the pub lunch alternative.

Thank goodness indeed, Scaredycat. They have basically enabled patients in most wards to use FaceTime, and enjoy other internet stuff - sounds, catch ups, music with earplugs. TV’s in hospital wards are a very mixed blessing- suppose you need as much quiet as you can get?

Your friend is a real concern until they assess treatments and what will work and how long, so it would be interesting to know what expectations are for her at home?

I never wore stilettos. I never did glam. I was hippie dungarees and cords alternative.

Just now and then I wish I’d tried glam and make up and the lot but it was never to be in my circles.

Well, DS takes DGD L to soft play, for tho she is 11, her mind age is 4, and she needs the exercise of scrambling up the big soft steps and down the slides.
They are simply wonderful wet and dry weather places, very safety conscious - netting around everything and so on. I wasn’t aware of them for maybe 10 years?

It’s pretty humid here - you are certainly not alone in being affected by it….it is most annoying, this age thing. A 3 hours attention span is pretty impressive, I think I would have gone for the abridged version. Enjoy your friend.

Last night I realised I was stretching myself mentally and physically to my limits and was due for a really bad time if I didnt take time out. Ireluctantly cancelled friend P who is of course housebound but we had a nice chat today instead: I had gone to a one hour Quaker Zoom and it was a good un so I quoted her the poem and passage read out by one person.

One man said something interesting and brief. He said, “don’t fight unhappiness”. I get it - he’s saying if you avoid feelings and push them away they come back to bite you, but of course I didn’t say but thought, “well yes, but one can only let in so many feelings at one time or…”

So I slept till 10am and did pottering things like stuff lying around that needs to go to charity shops and so on, and actually had a low key phone call to Quaker L instead of email with strings of analysis which I can overdo. Which all here know 🙄).
I’m having coffee with her on Tuesday, and the aim is a sort of normalising chat that doesn’t as far as possible go into recent events.

Lovely cleaner N has just been round for an hour and is fine to do bits of gardening for me.

I know bad inner thoughts haven’t gone, probably will always have an inner push, but I have a better strategy I hope.

Hi all
HVDY- It’s strange that my friend doesn’t feel ill at the moment although her readings say differently.
There are no tvs in the hospital so thank goodness she has her iPad.
Those soft play places must be fun- somehow we,ve never been to one I guess the ages were wrong.
If LG was in the car at the Car Wash I don’t blame her for being scared- it must have looked very scary to her.The picture of her
All creamed up is priceless. What a case she is . It would be a lovely advert for Sudocrem.
Hope you enjoy your lunch- they,ll have their work cut out to compete with the nice meals you get at the day centre.
Nadateturbe- lovely to see you in. LG was a cheery sight to greet you this morning xx
EllieAnne- It’s a long time to be away but now the Dr has given you reassurance you can organise things to keep your mind at rest as much as possible. 5 hours is a long drive so you need a clear head.
Doodle- those sort of dreams are the norm for me too. Full of stress and inescapable situations . Inevitable I guess for all of us.
Oh the buses- going upstairs in stilettos and a tight skirt!! I used to take 3 under 5,s on the bus and a pushchair as I couldn’t
drive. Then the shopping too😩
I envy you that lovely water view- dear old Thames.
I hope your son’s dog recovers well from the Op. yes Vets fees are extortionate . I think there is talk of more regulation for them - hope so.
Wyllow- yes vulnerability is an unsettling feeling but just have to get on with it as we do. Your GD must be very precious to you all. What a scary time that must have been.
It is hot here still- heat and my present condition don’t mix well so having to reign in my whizzing inclinations.
Yesterday we went to see the Odyssey- what bliss on a recliner seat and air conditioning. The film was 3 hours long- really was an Odyssey! It was Ok but in my opinion miscast not a patch on the Epics of old.
You couldn’t make D up- she is totally insensitive but you,ve got her number now so don’t let her spoil things again.
Concentrate on your fun,lovely friends who know you well.
SweetPeaSue-I am worried about my friend but have just spoken to her and she is doing well and may go home tomorrow🤞
A daily small walk is more beneficial than the occasional long one - you’re doing the right thing.
Ah Fluffball watching the ducks- I bet her little ears were pricked up. Maybe in Costas she’s trying to tell you she wants a.
Cappuccino and a cinnamon bun!
Hope you are both having a good day with her today xx

Love to all - going to visit my friend this afternoon.
Take care allxx

nadateturbe She's so funny. That cream shouldn't have been left within her reach, so she wasn't told off. Hope you have some better days soon.

Wyllow3 No doubt she'll have seen her mum and sister applying moisturisers.

Day centre place today - the place is being decorated, so we're all meeting in a pub for lunch (room hired for a few hours). Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Aren't they wonderful? the nearly empty tub on the floor HVDY .....Maybe she's seen women putting cream on. My DGD had a long princess dress phase too.

Have you managed to see your family recently, nadateturbe ? I ofter wonder how you pass the time.x

HVDY your photo of LG really made me laugh. Don't you just love little children?
Sorry everyone I have started posts twice and run out of energy before finishing. But I just had to pop on and tell HVDY.

Wyllow3 You had a friendly chat with some nice friends. That's always good.
Doodle Vets do charge a lot. What's wrong with the dog? Poor thing, hope she gets on OK. We used to have a credit card solely for vet bills. Jaffa cost us £850 in a couple of weeks when we first had him. I occasionally take photos and they're backed up on the computer. LG's parents take lots of photos. She found a tub of Sudocrem at their house! Glad you had a nice day today.
SweetpeaSue Those kind of dreams are upsetting. It shows that you're feeling anxious, I think. Glad you've got Fluffball to have a cuddle with sometimes.

Been lazy today- washing and ironing, not much else. Had my nails done, that's all. Hope everyone has a good sleep x

I think the Quaker thing will work its way through. D rung me this morning like nothing had happened and I was her bessie friend. Insisted I just had to have a whatsApp with 12 pictures of her family when she knows her actions stopped me going at c mas. You couldn't make it up.

But as she is now being weird to many its "not just me", it's "Yellow rock" for her. Not blocking as in grey rock, but nice smile and refusal to actually engage until they give up.

Those are just the sort of dreams I get Sweetpeasue. Not a lot atm, but it's the "lost in a city table to find home type".

Well Fluffball...and Costa....maybe if you take some discreet human food in (what takes an hour to chew and will keep her busy - can't think?). Does she go in the water as in duck interest or a swim in heat - or avoid it? Anyway, I'm glad you both managed an outing despite all. And you are right - get out everyday just is essential really, it does one no good, we need fresh air and fresh views and people watching. How long is the drive to the coast?

The Thames is really very lovely upstream Doodle I guess I'd imagined canal as locally the "water views" are the canal and were back in Manchester too when I lived there. Yes, the poignant memories of the walks.
I really feel for the family - what a shock both dog wise and the cost! Garden centres often have really nice food and views and treats to buy.

5 hours is a long drive, EllieAnne, even with a rest stop x

Best wishes to all absent BD's.

Doodle both sons live a bit away and work full time and share looking after the children so it wouldn’t work.
But I spoke to the dr today. His platelets have gone down a bit since last week but still not as bad as they were. He ll have to stay on high dose of steroids for a bit longer. But she says it’s fine to go away. It will be for over a week .
Wyllow I hope you sort out the Quaker situation. I’m quite hurt at the moment about lack of support from friends who know the situation but am trying not to brood on it.

Doodle Oh Im sorry about your son's dog - it sounds quite serious. Is it the German Shepherd one? The vet's fees are outrageous . I cant understand how even the drugs are so much more expensive than those for humans. My sister paid a lot when her little dog had to have an operation.
Glad youve been out today with a friend. All sorts of stuff in Garden Centres besides plants arent there.

Scaredycat Im sorry about your friend having to be admitted to hospital, especially as she was doing so well . I hope the transfusion will help the kidney function and the scan will be helpful. You will be worried for her . Yes, we get out for a walk most days - even if it hurts DGs hip as it doesnt help if he doesnt move it either. A little is better than nothing.
Doodle When I mentioned music I was just meaning light music with a beat for exercises though I expect thats difficult too as youve no control over what the instructor will choose. Its strange about dreams- mine are seldom pleasant either. Last night I was lost and trying to get home but it was my childhood home I was trying to place. I was wandering through streets and trying to find my way and only finding past homes I lived in where no one was there. Oh yes, I remember ticket collectors on the bus and also the standing and holding on when going round corners.
HVDY You had such a busy day yesterday and nice chats with friends. Not surprised LG wasn't impressed with car- washes - they scare me a bit too. Hope youve had a relaxing day today after the early morning Jaffa awakening.
EllieAnne Im just amazed at the things you can do. I mean 5 hrs driving is a heck of a drive! I couldn't do it . Not surprising you're really fed up at present as theres so many family members depending on you. Take care of yourself too. If you weren't here....... well someone else would HAVE to do it.
WyllowGlad youve had a nice girly chat morning. Nothing like a good giggle . Oh dear ,the tricky Quaker matter. I hope everything goes OK. and not something that will keep you up tonight worrying.

Fluffball today and small trip to a small river where shes fascinated by the ducks. Then Costa where she still whined a bit . Gave her a chew stick which she looked disgusted with and still seemed to want 'human' food. Have her tomorrow and Friday too.
Hope everyone has had a reasonable day. Love to all. X

Sweetpeasue and Scaredycatwhat have you been up to?
I went to church this morning then took car to be cleaned and popped into a garden centre on the way home. My friend bought a lovely dress there.

Ellie Anne sorry I misunderstood your message I thought you’d seen your DD? If you do go and car sit (how long is it for?) could your son stay with his dad while you are away?
Maybe she’s got an ostrich personality. Keep her head in the sand and hope it goes away. I’m a bit like that.
Wyllow it’s not a canal it’s the Thames. We loved our walks. DH used to enjoy it so much. I’ve been worried all day about DGS’s dog. Did I mention she had emergency surgery Sunday. She’s in a specialist hospital at the moment. They don’t have insurance and the cost is absolutely unbelievable. I cannot comprehend how the vets can charge so much.
I might try thos films. I do hope the Quaker matter doesn’t bring you down
HVDY do you take photos when you take LG out.? DH always took photos of our grandchildren and made photo books for them so they could see what fun times we used to have, they love them

This is not surprising!

I had a really nice time this morning chatting to electrolysis and ultrasound beauty lady and hair dresser at the gym. Known them for over 16 years now its top woman giggle stuff and I get discount creams and in return give the hairdresser specific exercise advice as her job gives her shoulder cramps.

I really should do some sewing a couple of charity things taking in under the arms but am lazing instead.

I'm dealing with a tricky Quaker matter but in the middle of it (waiting for advice back) so parking it for now.