How do I cope?

HappyBumbleBee you deserve a mahoussive, warm and sincere gransnet hug from us all.
Your username suggests that you are a strong, optimistic and positive soul but at the moment overwhelmed with everything that’s going on.
Good advice from others about MacMillan and also let your family love you, I’m sure that they won’t see you as a burden but as a mum, mum in law and gran who needs them at the moment.

Dear HBB - thinking of you so much and pray that your bravery shines on during the coming days.
It is the 'one day at a time' plan that will help and I do think counselling is useful. Macmillan and/or CancerBackup both have trained and brilliantly helpful counsellors.

Oh dear, I am truly sorry about your on going health problems. I have no words of wisdom and except to let you know that there are lots of us out here who are very sympathetic towards you and can totally understand how wretched you must be feeling . Sending hugs and

🌺 🌷 💐

I'm ashamed of feeling sorry for myself lately, when I read what you are going through.
You sound like a lovely person and I'm positive you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Sending you fervent good wishes for better times.
My love and a big hug. I think you are very brave.

Sending hugs and love your way, HappyBumbleBee. That is too much to cope with all at once so thank you for posting this sincere and honest note about how youre feeling to GNetters.

Yes, if it feels right to crawl back in bed, then please do just that. I have to do that regularly when my injuries overwhelm me. Its a break from my life.

Crying reduces cortisol and allows your body to shed some stress. Its umportant for your health. You cant be strong for others right now even though your mind is telling you what you ought to do. Take care of YOUR needs and wants, first.

How about writing some letters to your dear GC, tell him about memories you have from childhood. The way things were will fascinate him an no one else can teach him like you. You might be too unwell to spend time with him but you can still express your interest in him through stories, writings or dictating in a recorder.

Im sorry if Im not good at helping but in my heart, I am trying. How do I cope? Sometimes I have to change from that strong Fighter and just become an Observer. Thats what I do. I dont worry anymore. I just Let Go, and Let God, as they say, because everything just rolls out the way its supposed to. Its not controlled by me but it is nice to be cared for by doctors when so many in this world are not afforded that luxury.

Take care and feel some peace, my dear HappyBumbleBee 🙏 You deserve a sigh of relief and all of the warm wishes surrounding you. ✨️

Happy Bumblebee, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I spoke to a friend who has experience of NETS and she said that Ronny Allan at ronnyallan.net is excellent and has been living with this and has a Facebook page and you can even ask him about letters you get. I hope you can find him as she thought him a great source of help. Very best wishes

Bless you…. I think we’d all feel the same as your feeling if we were being honest. As we age our health is truly our wealth.
I get niggles and worry it’s going to be debilitating so considering what your going through your entitled to feel like you do. Try deal with one thing and one day at a time until your feeling more like you. Come on here and we can all be your councillors and hold your hand through it all. Sending love and positivity. 🌸

Really hope life gets easier for you, you sounds such a good person, let your family be there for you now as I’m sure you have always been for them.

Hi Happy Bumble Bee, so sorry and we are glad you shared this and hopefully it made you feel better for a short while.
Is the a UK forum /help group with whom you can discuss
your symptoms? Perhaps the specialist nurse can advise where to chat with others in a similar situation.

No words of wisdom from me I'm afraid but did not want to pass by without comment after reading your message. I sincerely hope that writing things down has helped you in some small way and that sitting out in the fresh air might also have helped a little. You know you are perfectly entitled to cry and cry and cry, to feel sorry for yourself or to feel any other emotion that comes to you. You have been so strong but you don't have to be that way all the time. I hope you find some peace, take care.

Sending you virtual hugs and positive vibes Bumblebee , just take one day at a time and do what ever you feel like. ❤️

Agree with all posts really and can understand your feelings. Just live in the moment if you can, day by day.Tomorrow will take care of itself.

So much good advice here HappyBumblebee. You have every right to feel upset, angry, fed up, and despondent given you have so much to cope with.
My tuppence worth would be, perhaps look for any tiny bit of happiness or positivity, like, as you mentioned, enjoying the birds in your garden.

I can completely understand you not wanting to burden or worry your family with all your conditions. I really empathise. From my own experience, knowing a loved one was suffering dreadful illness really clouded my whole existence. I forced a happy disposition, a cheery, positive demeanour and the strain of wearing a mask was terrible. I don't let my children in regarding my various ailments - none as difficult and severe as yours. They are adults and we are close, so I don't want to blight their lives in any way.

There will be outlets other than family however, where you can talk, share your worries, your feelings. I do hope someone can point you in the right direction for that sort of therapy. Having someone to share your worries and listen to your concerns would be helpful, I'm sure.
Do of course let off steam here. So many Grans are wise, supportive and compassionate.

Keep looking for those tiny bits of silver linings and recognising them...they can ease the worries and fear of a day slightly.

As Churchill famously said " Keep buggering on " KBO.
Sending you hugs.

Sorry you are having a horrid time Not surprising you are finding life difficult. Do reach out to friends as well as family. I am part of a small group of older women who this last year have had to cope with a number of different challenges - the impact of cancer treatment; bereavement; husband with dementia having to go into a care home; macular degeneration; and serious illness affecting a teenage grandchild and all his plans for the future.

It has helped us all keeping in regular contact in whatever way is possible. Phone calls; WhatsApp messages. Also (when well enough) meeting up in each other's homes, seeing a film together, hearing a local choir perform, or attending a fund raising tea party in someone's garden.
I would also from my own experience join those who say that a good counsellor can make a difference.

You do not have to be alone when the going gets tough.

I’m so sorry you are going through so much at the moment. You have had a lot of wise messages. The one that I would reiterate most, is to take heed of what your body tells you. I’m sure you have spent much time over the years worrying about your family, as we do. Now it’s your time, so let them now do the same. I think they’ll feel that it’s a privilege to help you.
Will be thinking of you.

What strength and resilience you have, I’m sending you love and prayers. Stay as positive as you can and please reach out to your family - they would want you to 🙏🏻💐

To cope with so much you are brilliant.
If you feel tired and want to rest do rest I am sure your family understand.
Don’t feel you are alone as so many of us are always here to read your posts. Be thankful for the years you were free of cancer as my late mother did when breast cancer got worse as there was no chemotherapy when she got cancer.

I hope your health improves soon, HappyBumblebee. What id like to say in the meantime is don’t overthink things, listen to your body and you can’t go wrong. If you’re feeling tired then you should sleep, it’s good for you. If you feel hungry, have something you want to eat. I t doesn’t matter if you only eat once, or graze all day. Your body is telling you what it needs. Sending you lots of love x

Please feel ablento come back here whenever you feel like talking. It's one of the things GN does best. X

Sending hugs your way! 🥰🥰 Be kinder to yourself you are having to deal with a lot... I think you sound a very brave and resilient person.. one step at a time, 1 day at a time. I empathise with you. I do not have cancer orhad cancer but I've had 2 heart attacks 2nd one caused a stroke as surgeon dislodged plaque! Had no speech for about 2/3 hours...very scary. I'm diabetic, got arthritis. Luckily my speech came back more or less abd my lufe is 95% betto normal butI was a PE teacher, fit, healthy and involved atfairlyhighlevelsport till about 30 then had family etc and then all this happened when I retired.. I take it very ill out not going at pace I used to but I'm here!!!! I am ,slowly, realising I have to pace myself... very hard but you need to do same. I thibk you are marvellous and please do not be so hard on yourself.... too much to live for. Take care 🩷

Yes, one foot in front of the other ❤️ but it's hard so be kind to yourself and don't expect too much. Big virtual HUG!

Illness does mean a period of rest. It happens to many people at certain moments in their life. It’s frustrating and debilitating, but you will come through it and then you can accomplish all the things you are waiting to do. Families are there to comfort at times like this, the time will come when you can be on hand to return the compliment. Look after yourself now and enjoy the fact that you have a lovely family.

This must be so worrying for you. Feeling depressed with all these diagnosis’s is very common. You are physically and emotionally going through a tough time. Right now you are trying to live the same life but your circumstances are different. Eat healthy, take supplements if necessary. Take an afternoon nap, mild exercise, like a short walk. Allow yourself to feel tired and sad but not all the time. Do nice things for yourself, a facial, get your hair done, a mani/pedi. Just be kinder to yourself, you’ve spent years looking after others, so now look after yourself.

I have no practical advice but just wanted to add please be kind to yourself and deal with your horrible issues in your own way.

We are always here with lots of shoulders and thoughts X