Do you think you know when you are going to die?

I am 82 years old. I don't have time to die yet, there is more I want to do, such as declutter my house.

I think my mum knew she was ready. According to the carers in her home she was fine all afternoon, then took herself to bed before teatime, very unusual for her, when I visited later she was in a deep sleep and I couldn’t rouse her for long. I instinctively knew she was dying and told the charge nurse that evening she wouldn’t be here long now.
She died a week later.

I had a friend who at 99 desperately for some reason did not wish to reach 100. She died a few days before her birthday which did not actually exist that year as she was a leap year baby.

I don't think we know when we are going to die but I do think we sometimes become aware of our own mortality. I've had two occasions in the last four years when something has happened and I understood that I might die. I felt very calm and peaceful, not at all afraid or worried. On the first occasion I did write a few notes about whom I wanted treasured pieces of jewellery to go to and I made a complete recovery. I think you have had some serious health issues that must have really shaken you, hopefully you'll continue to recover and feel less pessimistic about the future. I hope so. Good wishes to you.

I had a dear friend who died at age 91. She was always cheerful, kind and optimistic and had a lovely family who gave her constant love and care.
One day she said, ‘I’ve had a long and happy life, I think I’m ready to go.’ She was not ill or suffering but died soon afterwards.

I am not gloomy or down. I am just asking from a scientific percpective. Thank you for all of your kind words and support. We will all live as long as we are supposed to.

If I start having conversations with my grandparents in the room, I will let you know !

My Nan always said my grandad gave her a really big hug before he went to work this particular morning usually it was a quick kiss ‘bye see you later’ but this particular morning he hugged her for a while . Two hours later she got word that his secretary had found him dead, resting his head on his arms on his desk.
That’s the only person I ve ever known of

Wise words Cabbie. My parents thought death was for other people.

I think my husband knew he was dying. He was in hospital, very ill, on oxygen, but able to ask for ‘ a sedative’. He did not come round after that. I think he just wanted not to linger for any more hours.
However prior to that last heart attack, he seemed to think he was immortal. Discussing anything about his death was out of the question.
So whilst it is good to think positively, it is also important to be realistic - we are not immortal!- and make preparations to leave one’s affairs in order and ensure that loved ones know our wishes.

Macaydia, you have been through some tough times, so it's not surprising that you are having such dark thoughts.
We all should put our affairs in order, of course, to help our families after our demise, but none of us can guarantee the morrow.
I hope that your spirits lift soon, and that you have brighter days ahead.

I well remember my darling Gran basically saying goodbye to me when I went to visit her for our usual Saturday afternoon chat. It felt important. It gave me the chance to thank her for everything. That night she went to sleep and didn't wake up. I've always thought that somehow she knew.

Sending very good wishes. On a positive note, my 94-year old Mum was in hospital not expected to last the night. However she sat up for breakfast in the morning and lived another 3 years.

My very best wishes, but they are for a very speedy recovery. I remember Mum when she was well over 80 was pretty poorly with a little stroke and virus, and had made up her mind that that was that.

She lived to 101.

Sending you kindest thoughts

Macaydia

Once we cross our 75th year, thoughts go to how, when and where the end will come. I have told my young neighbour who lives opposite to check my curtains. If they are not open by 10am, I have asked her to come in and check on me. She has my house-key, also my children’s tel nos.

Well I thought I was going to die when I collapsed on the tennis court.
I thought well if I’m going to die it’s not so bad! Obviously I’m fine now, on BP tablets but that has given me much comfort. I wasn’t worried at all.
My mum wasn’t well after Christmas and was convinced she wouldn’t recover. She’s fine now and we are shopping for a new wheelchair.
So I would say that in my family we aren’t very good at judging time of death.

Basgetti

So sorry for how you’re feeling, Maycaydia. I know that a feeling of doom can be symptomatic of some medical issues. Can you discuss it with your doctor?
All the best X

This is what I was going to suggest, Maycaydia. Your GP might be able to help you to get support from counselling or other help.

I'm the opposite. I almost died recently, apparently, but had no clue and was completely surprised when they told me what a lucky escape I'd had.
This has changed my thinking, of course. I can't stop going over it in my mind and every morning my first thought is
'Will I die today?'

Maycadia I am so sorry you have been ill and are now having these awful feelings. I hope you are having some continuing care and someone to call on when you need them. Best wishes.

I sometimes think it's how you feel in your body and only you know that. I'm 68 now, not old but I know I'm slowing down, my memory isn't great anymore and with balance issues I often wonder if I've got 10 years of good health left. I've got to consciously force those dark thoughts away and try to focus on happier things
It's natural as we age to wonder more about what's "going to get us in the end" but if you dwell on it too much, it's just a downward spiral.
I've had great support from the 'Grans' lately Macaydia and I'm sure we'll all do our best to help you through your worries too
Love and good wishes xx

I am sorry you are feeling down Maycaydia. You obviously have serious health issues, but sometimes, with time and the right medication, these can be overcome.

I hope you are feeling well enough to see friends and family, and to get the most out of life. Sending love and hugs to you. xx

Stansgran, I'm sorry but I really think some men need to sort their own needs out and not expect women to do it.

So sorry for how you’re feeling, Maycaydia. I know that a feeling of doom can be symptomatic of some medical issues. Can you discuss it with your doctor?
All the best X

Hmm. I felt like that several times and then recovered to my amazement. Then there was a new pathway to follow.