Do you think you know when you are going to die?

My 7yr old daughter knew my mum was going to die and never come home from the hospital. Mum had many tests for cancer all negative, and was due for discharge home the next day. She died from a blood clot blocking an artery. When they put in the premed to operate she had a massive cardiac arrest and died a few hours later. I think the clot travelled to the heart.
I've never forgotten my daughter predicted it the day before and she still remembers it. Some things are hard to logically explain.

I agree completely with Falling star, you have experienced bereavement of your husband, and a stroke - two enormous senses of loss - in a relatively short time. It's not unusual for people to feel an impending sense of doom in these circumstances because right now you may feel you have no purpose in life. I know there was a thread on gransnet yesterday about the experience of bereavement counselling which didn't seem to attract many positive comments, and I failed to comment as time ran out for me, but I know from vast experience as a psychotherapist and volunteer bereavement therapist within a hospice that it can help significantly. The key is not to assume it will bring back your loved one, or restore whatever it is you've lost, but rather to think of it as an opportunity to process your feelings - anger, bewilderment, confusion, sense of injustice, sadness.

Your stroke has taken things away from you, left you with a permanent headache and inability to walk. You are bound to feel the end is near. Please just take it slowly but look for local charities that offer a befriending service to bring something new into your life, see what social services can provide or direct you towards. I hope you feel better soon.

It a bit different but I once had a very strong premonition that a young woman of 29 that I knew was going to die. I phoned a mutual friend and told her. I was puzzled and felt awful about it. I couldn't say why I thought it. She wasn't ill. She died that night. This is the first time I've 'talked' about it. It hasn't happened again and I don't want it to.

Notspaghetti gosh! I hope it wasn't too much of a distressing shock for the family.

Yes it was, Aveline.

To Macaydia. I don’t think we do know when we are going to die, but no wonder you feel down after all your health problems and losing someone so very close to you. However people recover from both these things though it might not seem like that now. Take it easy and in time explore new projects and perhaps socialise with people who have gone through an equally sad time and get strength from each other.
Don’t give up on life, in spite of everything you have a good future ahead of you.

paddyann54

Might it just be your frame of mind?
We,ve lost 14 friends and family in the past year.most I,ve known since my teens so well over 50 years.I,ve found myself scared to answer the phone in case it’s more bad news both my sisters have life limiting issues.
Recently I started to think it will be my turn next and got myself into a terrible state,scared to leave the house scared to stay in it on my own.
That’s not how I am usually so ots worrying my OH .
I know I,m. being stupid but it’s difficult to find a way out of the feeling ,sadly all my closest friends were among those who died last year so there’s nobody I would talk to about it
I will work through it I,m sure and I,m sure given time you,ll come through your thoughts that your time is coming .

Try not to dwell on it ,keep your mind busy ,I wish you well and many years ahead

My late partner was having ongoing cancer treatment and was getting exhausted from it, the doctors said he could stop it any time, but would only have 2 weeks left from the day he stopped. One Monday he told me he would tell the consultant the following Thursday that he wanted to stop, he just could not cope with all the invasive treatment any. longer. The Sunday night he became very ill and died the following. Friday with Hospice support and me at his side. He definitely knew.

Those thoughts are with me, also.

I am eighty years old and often think that I probably won’t have too much longer on this earth.

Although I am well, I find myself getting very tired and old.

Fallingstar

Macaydia

I am feeling that way now so am trying to get things in order. Do you think people know beforehand? Has it happened to you before?

Is it just my imagination? (I dont think so).

The day I lost my husband, he was unusually quiet beforehand and I could tell something wasnt quite right.

I have just been home from the hospital and I also feel that I am not okay but the doctors did everything they could before sending me home. I had a stroke, bleeding in the brain, fractured skull from a fall and now a brain blood clot.

I have to get better tomorrow somehow but I am feeling like this is the beginning of the end. Not to be negative but these things do happen as we get older. Its a bit sad but not unexpected.

After suffering such major health problems, and losing your beloved husband a few months ago it is hardly any wonder you feel like this.
My DH had a massive stroke and bleed on the brain nearly 18 months ago. I am now his full time carer, he has many disabilities as a result, and he does get in a very dark place and says that he knows he is dying. I understand completely how he feels, and how you feel, but none of us know when we will go, though being older and suffering ill health we imagine it will happen sooner.
But you are still recovering from a bereavement and a stroke so you will feel physically and mentally in a slump.
Keep posting on here and take it easy. The Stroke Association has a forum where you can also talk to others who have been through what you have suffered physically.
I wish you respite and relief 💐💐

My husband had a massive stroke in 2006 which totally paralysed him, he never spoke a sentence again and never ate a solid meal again. Yet we had 8 lovely years together, where I managed to take him out every single day in his wheelchair. He subsequently survived many TIAs and chest infections, but still lived to 2014 for which I will be eternal grateful. You can survive so much and we never know when our time is up. I too wish you respite and relief.

As we age, and and prticularly if we have lost our spouse and perhaps a younger sister or brother as well, the thought of death becomes more likely to occupy us, at least at times.

Any serious illness or accident will obviously bring our own demise into our minds, too.

If this is what is happening, I have thus far found that knowing that my funeral plan and my will is in order helps to keep these thoughts at bay.

But to answer OP's actual question: In my experience some people do seem to know when they are going to, or are likely, to die. It may be that at one time in the past everyone could do this.

After all, it hardly surprises us if an old or sick cat hides in a dark corner until we realise it is time to pay that last dreaded visit to the vet, or until the cat actually dies. Other animals, too, seem to possess the faculty of knowning that their time is up.

I have known of people, usually the very old, or the terminally ill, who seemed to know when they were about to die, or when they would die. In one or two instances, I think they may actually have chosen the time themselves, and I am not talking of any form of suicide or active help here.

On the other hand, imagination is a very potent factor for most of us, and can easily make us believe that we are seriously ill, or dying when we are not.

My father was a doctor , and said that most medical students in his year found ample evidence in themselves of the symptoms of whichever dangerous or veneral disease they were learning about. Most of the time, they were suffering from none of any of all this.

He made his listeners laugh when he said that no male student he knew of had ever detected signs of pregnancy in himself, but that was the only condition that they managed to escape. I do not know if the few women students of his day likewise managed to escape the symptoms of prostrate trouble.

So far, I feel it is best to preserve an open mind on these matters. Put your affairs in order if that makes you happier, or not, if you find the thought morbid.

OP, I am sorry you feel so ill as you do, and it shocks me that any hospital has discharged you at this point. Take good care of yourself, please, and I hope you feel at lot better very soon.

Oh my darling have you family and or good friends close by to talk to?
Sending love xxx

Might it just be your frame of mind?
We,ve lost 14 friends and family in the past year.most I,ve known since my teens so well over 50 years.I,ve found myself scared to answer the phone in case it’s more bad news both my sisters have life limiting issues.
Recently I started to think it will be my turn next and got myself into a terrible state,scared to leave the house scared to stay in it on my own.
That’s not how I am usually so ots worrying my OH .
I know I,m. being stupid but it’s difficult to find a way out of the feeling ,sadly all my closest friends were among those who died last year so there’s nobody I would talk to about it
I will work through it I,m sure and I,m sure given time you,ll come through your thoughts that your time is coming .

Try not to dwell on it ,keep your mind busy ,I wish you well and many years ahead

I suppose the point of our lives is basically to reproduce. Nice to be nice as wwll.

Was it her day?

My mother-in-law knew.
She called my husband and said something like. I think you should come - today's "my day" (if you know what I mean).

It was an "ordinary" day. Though she apparently hadn't slept well.

Macadia, you have been through the mill lately, you're bound to feel weak and rundown, but hopefully as time passes your strength will return,I think it's a good idea to put your wishes down , I have left instructions for our family where everything is.
bank accounts, wills because nobody knows how long we have .You might be feeling a bit depressed, so hope you feel better soon.

Charleygirl5

I am 82 years old. I don't have time to die yet, there is more I want to do, such as declutter my house.

Atta girl Charleygirl5 my sentiments entirely 😀

I think it can also be the opposite and that even when you are seriously, seriously ill (as I was almost 40 years ago now), yet I still never felt I was going to die. I was told later by the doctor in charge that I was so ill that someone in authority must have been looking after me. I said yes, the doctors and nurses had all been great. He looked at me and said quietly, “No, I meant a much higher authority than that.”

LaCrepescule

You sound like a lovely person Macaydia and I wish you all the best. None of us knows exactly when we are going to die but serious illness with a poor prognosis will always make us think death is near. I too like to think that consciousness doesn’t end with death and that it continues in some form or other.

The most beautiful explanation was by a Buddhist monk; before we are born we are like part of the ocean, when we are born we are a drop that rises out and up until it reaches a pinnacle, then we slowly descend until we are reabsorbed into the water at death. That makes some kind of sense to me.

My version of that is that we are all made up of atoms in the cosmic soup; those atoms coalesce for a time as a human being and when we die they return to the same cosmic soup.

What was the point of it? - I have no idea, but all we can do is live with kindness and take joy where we can.

What a positive and brave post travelsafar. I hope OP takes comfort from it.

I remember after me and my husband were both in hospital with covid at the same time and he died, coming home to an empty house and being in isolation for another 10 days feeling I was going to die as I still felt so unwell. I wasn't afraid, just sad for my family. I felt at peace and accepted that it was possible.
But fast forward 5 and half years and im still here. Give yourself time to get over all you've been through and hopefully you will start to feel better and enjoy life again.💐🌹💐

I don't think we talk enough about death, yet it comes to us all.

I know that before death there is a definite smell, and when you look into the eyes, it's as if the soul has left.

You may be feeling this way because your going through such a traumatic time and can't see a positive end. You sound like a very strong lady and may surprise yourself and come through it all. I'm wishing you calmer waters whatever the outcome.

🥰
Makes me feel connected. Thank you.

You sound like a lovely person Macaydia and I wish you all the best. None of us knows exactly when we are going to die but serious illness with a poor prognosis will always make us think death is near. I too like to think that consciousness doesn’t end with death and that it continues in some form or other.

The most beautiful explanation was by a Buddhist monk; before we are born we are like part of the ocean, when we are born we are a drop that rises out and up until it reaches a pinnacle, then we slowly descend until we are reabsorbed into the water at death. That makes some kind of sense to me.

I am not being pessimistic. I am being realistic. To me, death is sad for those you've left.

I knew a lady with ovarian cancer who said she wont die yet because she has so many things she still needs to do but she died three days later.

I dont believe a persons conciousness ends with death but I have no proof either, although my husband died once and hovered in the ceiling corner of the hospital room.