Do you think you know when you are going to die?

That is exactly how i felt last time. I knew it was the end for me but i wasnt afraid. I was just sad for my children.

I drove myself to the A&E, they found my brain was saturated, rushed me to another hospital for two brain surgeries. Said they didnt know why I was still alive. I overheard a surgeon say, "That lady walked in here. Im pretty sure shes going to walk out of here". So I did.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer twenty five years ago and had to actually face the idea that I may die, all I could think about was my family that I would leave behind. That made me feel very distressed rather than the fact of facing death myself.

My dd has been a medic for six years now and she said when it comes to the process of dying, there are no absolutes as to how it will go. She’s seen people who are well enough to go home from hospital suddenly die with no warning, someone else who stated that she’d come to die in a hospice although she was nowhere near the end of the illness. She did indeed die, within three days!

One remarkable time, the crash team was trying to revive a cardiac arrest patient, though they held out little hope. Dd was sent elsewhere but she returned at the end of her shift to ask after the patient. The woman was sitting up in bed with a cup of tea and doing a book of sudoku puzzles!

Dd says she’s no longer surprised by the surprises that patients spring on her.

Aged Aunt was very run down and not happy with the decline in her health and her inability to live her life as she wished. She said to me one Friday when I was visiting her "I'm going to have to go into a Home, aren't I?" I replied it might be for the best, for a while anyway. I asked which place she would prefer of the local choices and she suggested one. I said I would help make the arrangements. She said "Don't do anything until after the weekend please", but said it was OK if I checked that a place was available, which I did.

Her carer found her dead in bed on the Monday morning. Heart attack.

I am expecting to die when I am 82. I have thought that for many years. There is no particular reason. I just have no concept of my life after that age. If I am still on here in 5 years time, you can remind me what I have said today and tell me how wrong I was.

Anyway, in case my feeling is correct, I have been reading the books I never got round to reading, disposing of those I will never want to read again and sorting through my Music collection. I have reminded my daughters that my husband's grave is a double depth with the top layer available for a second coffin or ashes. (Up to them).

I am also trying to get my will updated. Not easy as three of our four local Solicitors have closed in recent years. The remaining firm, which my family has used for the past 60 years or so, put me on the waiting list to see their Will writer in February, with a warning I might not get an appointment until April. I rang them last week. They have been taken over by a "Corporate". The fees have been more than doubled since I spoke to them in February. I fear the friendly, helpful, personal service I used to receive will not be the same.

I was very impressed at my Gran making a big effort after my Grandad died and she was having to move houses. She just said that it was the start of a new chapter. She died almost fifty years ago and I miss her to this day.

Fallingstar, yes, I agree. Being ill, and losing our loved ones does make us feel down. The advice on GN is very helpful. I do hope that you are comfortable now, and can find calm, and rest, so that you are peaceful. My gran would say "their page has turned". Try to relax doing things that you enjoy, meditate, remember happy things, be surrounded by things/memories that you cherish, and/ or people who you love.

That is exactly what i have been thinking about today: how my mind, attitude and thoughts are shaping my health. I am not down at all but thank you for all of the stories and experiences you have shared. I can really relate to each post. It does make me think about things in a different way.

I am trying to stay alive for my DS because ...well, he has stage 4 cancer and I am his carer.

Aveline I know that was a difficult post for you to share but I hope you feel okay about getting it out. I am also very "in tune" like that - cant help it. You did nothing wrong - you just have a gift and felt something.

Judging by the various replies it seems that the feeling you are about to pass on can just as easily be a false alarm as the real thing. So it may be impossible to know with any kind of certainty. Our brains behave in all sorts of strange ways especially during times of illness or mental strife.

The only thing you can say for sure is that the mind and body work together and a positive outlook will heal the body. Corny but true. Connect with nature when possible and maybe just maybe you will pull through and find some sunlight shining through the gloom and recovery on its way.

Macaydia

Cath8 i am so sorry to hear that. My son, with cancer, talks to me that way too..kind of leaves us speechless, not knowing how to reply.

I do hope you are getting good support with this.

Still dizzy. Im not sure how i progress from here. trying to get things in order

Cath8 i am so sorry to hear that. My son, with cancer, talks to me that way too..kind of leaves us speechless, not knowing how to reply.

A big 🫂 to all those who are poorly just try and enjoy every minute.
During my mother’s last years she was in a Residential home where she knew when she was about to die after having a stroke when aged 102. The last words I heard from her was;
‘ When we next meet I will be in a coffin’

I'm into my third year of poor health and I don't want to think about dying .
It's why -those constant advertisements for cremations make me feel really depressed .

Sorry, I mean ''know'' not ''now!''

I've no idea, and if I could find out the date, I wouldn't want to now!

''All I ask'' is 2 things:

That I go quietly, alone, at home.

That in the afterlife, I can be surrounded by all my beloved pets I've lost over the years, so we can be together again for all eternity and beyond. Dogs, cats, birds, fish, rodents.

I think we may have an idea when the time is near. My mum put all the financial stuff into order so her husband knew everything. 2 weeks later she was gone

Sadly yes. I have a terminal disease with a life expectancy of five years and i am four years four months from diagnosis and every day is a struggle. I lost a dear friend to this six months ago, he’d only been diagnosed 2 years and this week another died after just 15 months since diagnosis so I’m doing well. I am using this time to get things in order but the silly thing is I keep finding other things I have forgotten. I was widowed six years ago next month and I am just so grateful he didn’t see me like this, it would have broken his heart. My kids treat me like normal and I am grateful for that. All the time they think I can do something then I too think I can. But each day is becoming more difficult, today I can’t breathe properly and my sats are all over the shop. I tried to go on holiday last week but fell badly, ended up in a nearby a&e, within five minutes of arriving and came back worse than I went. But completed the holiday. As everyone expected I would.

Maycaydia, so much to cope with
💐 🌹 🌸 🏵 🌼 💐 💐 💐

crazyH, that trick with the curtains could work. It did for my next door neighbour, a lovely ladies in her late 80's. Another neighbour across the road, phoned me to say M's curtains are still closed. She is usually up by now.
I phoned the family, who came round. Yes, she had fallen during the night.
No one was planning to visiting that day.
She made a full recovery.
All because a neighbour noticed the curtains.

Dear Macaydia, keep up with any physio you have been given.
It feels terrible now I'm sure... Please do not give up on yourself.

Yes, MT62, she did.
She was almost sanguine about it really and not in pain.

It wasn't entirely unexpected as she was 101 and had had a stroke 8 months before - but she was recovering well all things considered, and was back living at home.

I felt she could have just gone on and on - and she'd just put in a rather fancy stairlift and was delighted to be sleeping back upstairs again.

She'd taken delivery of a huge Christmas food order the day before!

She had also ordered 3 dozen mince pies from the local baker (for a family event on boxing day).
So really it was just another day in many ways.

I miss her a lot. She was a most extraordinary woman.

NotSpaghetti

My mother-in-law knew.
She called my husband and said something like. I think you should come - today's "my day" (if you know what I mean).

It was an "ordinary" day. Though she apparently hadn't slept well.

Did she die that day?

Do hope you recover well and soon.

Oh Macaydia - I’m hugging you, wherever you are. What a very lonely feeling. So sorry, love.

fancyflowers

I am sorry you are feeling down Maycaydia. You obviously have serious health issues, but sometimes, with time and the right medication, these can be overcome.

I hope you are feeling well enough to see friends and family, and to get the most out of life. Sending love and hugs to you. xx

A big hug from me to Maycaydia.
As usual the Gransnetters always give the best advice. How lucky we are to have this wonderrful group of women for support .

Just concentrate now on getting as well as you can. Spring has sprung and the weather should be getting warmer soon.

Much love
💐👍🌞
Xxx