Black Dogs 29

Doodle the hall was full and raised over £3000 pounds for charity.

Evening all, too tired to post much tonight as I've just had to write a summary of events for psychologist coming back from leave as she needs to know new events as "they" want to write to her.

I'm glad to hear of the small bits of light in BD's days.

Even tho yes its sometimes paid for the next day on waking after exertions ...

Quaker meeting was OK except the whole unresolved thing is getting to the people in charge of the meeting tho its hardly my fault. If there was a magic wand to take away post trauma memories of MrA I'd take it as its caused so many so much hassle and I dont want it ti rebound on me. For nearly 40 years before this happened I have been a quiet attender and joiner-inner in meetings joys and sorrows as well as time out when very ill, but never laid the burden or expected them to make it all OK as MrA now is.

Yes...this endless rain does none of us any good tho I did get a walk in the park and an ice cream in this afternoon as the sun came out on and off.

EllieAnne It can be quite tiring trying to keep up with company cant it. Oh that deer will have given you a fright but so glad you didnt hit it . Quite chilly here too today.
HVDY Im aching now- cant leave DH to do things on his own though. Oh your containers and baskets will bring so much pleasure as they grow. Ive planted a couple of tubs with a bush tomato in each
Bit risky with this cool weather though.
No, DH doesnt do the paint by numbers but likes to paint with oils and pastels mostly.
Doodle Lovely end to your day having a chat with both your sons. Im glad the hospice is there for you.

PurplePixie Glad your mood is better today. Having a long call with your son was nice.

EllieAnne It's surprising how tiring it is having the family around, isn't it? Your GS is at an age to take an interest in the garden. Having a deer jump out like that must have made you jump. A Muntjac did that to me one night, near a golf course. The weather is quite cool here, too. I put the heating on for 1/2 an hour this morning.

Doodle The hospice sounds a beautiful place. Did you have anything to eat there? Glad you spoke with your sons.

Up at 6 today (thanks to Jaffa). Went to the Papplewick Pumping Station (5 minutes drive from us), which made a change. Pub lunch and then chatted with a friend on the phone for an hour. Hope everyone sleeps well x

SweetpeaSue I bet your garden looks nice now. You'll be aching tomorrow. We bought some small plants last weekend, for the hanging baskets and planters. They're quite pretty. Does your husband do the painting-by-numbers things?

ScaredyCat I'm on Bisoprolol (beta-blocker) for a fast heart rate. Are you on something similar? I recently got a radar key. Very handy to have at times. I'm sure your boys will be fine at the cattery. Are you going abroad?

Ellie Anne how lovely to have your DGS help you planting your pots, I bet he enjoyed that. Glad you enjoyed your summer concert. Were there many people there?
Purplepixie pleased to hear you’re feeling a bit better,
Scaredycat I wonder why the body stores up so much fluid. DH’s legs got so swollen and red. Hope your new meds help and work well for your heart, Do you have regular follow ups.?
Sweetoeasue yes the hospice is lovely and peaceful, I sat by the lake for a while. Glad you were feeling a bit better today. Please don’t overdo it.
HVDY so pleased your granddaughter has made new friends and is more settled. Must be a relief for you. Fancy Foxy is back. I wonder if he’s been away on his holidays. Bet he missed your gourmet meals.
Wyllow so pleased you’re going to see your family. It’s good you have a trip to look forward to
I had a nice morning at church then the hospice. Spoke to both sons this afternoon which was nice,

Last night was our summer concert and the feedback has been good. I enjoyed it but no more choir till September.
Ds 2 and family were here today and I’m tired now that they have gone.
Dgd helped me put some plants in little pots to hang on the fence. He enjoyed that.
No mention of stair lift today so I m saying nothing.
Church was good today.
It’s cold and windy here. My heating came on earlier. What’s happened to summer.
Coming home last night a deer ran across the road in front of me on a dual carriage way. Just missed it. Got a bit of a scare.
Thinking of doodle today and hoping the hospice visit brings some peace.

Thanks for all of your kind and encouraging words. I’ve had a lovely long chat this afternoon with my youngest son. Great. Feel more positive today with my trip away on the horizon. X

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- At least your DH has picked up his brushes again- a good sign. So sorry you,ve had a couple of nasty days- getting in the garden is good therapy . I did a little,yesterday but my strength has gone and so its pottering and snipping. Do,enjoy it though. I can get on my knees but getting up again is another story.
EllieAnne- how’s the weekend going? Did you suggest to DH about the extra rail for the stairs?
PurplePixie- How unnecessary of your DH to speak to you so unkindly - bet you could have walloped him!!
A few days away is just what you need- leave DH to stew a bit.
Do see the Doc- it really will help.
Doodle- I have the diuretics and also another med for heart rate. I have an allergy to maize starch which is used as a filler in many meds so might have to have a liquid version of it.
Being near to the loo is a way of life for me😀 I have a radar key too. Yes my ankles are slightly swollen - normally they are twig like!!
Today must be very difficult for you. I hope the peace of the Hospice helps you with your memories and thoughts of that day .
HVDY- yes we all love animals and do try to help each other.
But at the end of this month we are going away and I,m dreading it. The boys are booked into a cattery. I have a friend with 2 Raggies like ours who she adores and they go there so I trust her judgement. DD is close by and would do a couple of days but 2 weeks is a long time .
I,m glad GD1 is getting on better - she,ll be busy now then . It’s a stressful time for the kids isn’t it.
See you,ve got the Fox Cafe up and running- lucky old foxy.
Wyllow- those Quaker Zooms must be so enjoyable and interesting. We,ve always found American people so nice whenever we,ve been there.
Great you have another trip up to your family sorted. Won’t it be lovely just chilling and chatting in your jammies.
Your one Son sounds a great person and they have a bunch of lovely children who as they grow up will be able to visit on their own.
Hope today is a good one for you.

Love to allx

Doodle Thinking of you today at the hospice and hoping it helps and brings you some peace.
Wyllow So glad you're going gown to see son and family later. Im sure they will be so pleased to see you. Oh those are the Sunday mornings we like too.
Yes, DH is dabbling here and there with paints just lately though doesnt seem to be fully immersed ( not sure spelt right) if you see what I mean.
HVDY Great news about your DGD1 . There is so much for them to work through at that age and Im so pleased shes not being bullied anymore. Lovely about foxy returning too. He knows which side his bread is buttered!
Oh I do understand about those very undignified examinations. Getting dressed afterwards you cant get away quick enough.
EllieAnne Hope youve seen friends at church today. Sounds like your husband isnt really in dire need of stairlift just yet anyway.
Scaredycat Hope youve been OK since your diagnosis and are coping with it.
Thanks for explanation of the little cat tunnel. Poor Yuki - hope hes over it now.
They can't 'know' the vet is on their side can they. I love 'love in the mist' too. They're like little Cornflowers in the middle arent they. I think Annuals are so colourful.
Purplepixie Hope uouve been OK this weekend.

H

Ive been better today after 2 really horrible days. Just spent an hour bent over helping DH in garden. Can't get on my knees but bending isnt great either- probs get payback tomorrow. At least the weeds are out and looks tidy.

Love to all and those not mentioned by name.x

Wyllow3 GD1 is doing ok, thanks (she lives with her dad Son1, of course, and has a stable home life there). She's made some better friends and now keeps out of trouble at school - mock exams starting next week. The mother has always used GD2 to get back at Son1. She can't change.

Fortunate foxy. Oh dear, more family to-dos! How's GD1, tho?

EllieAnne Stairlifts do take up a lot of room, so a handrail wouldn't be possible. IF your husband gets one, at least you'd be able to use it as well. It does seem rather premature to have one simply because going down the stairs once a day is a bit difficult.

PurplePixie A break away at your friend's will do you both good. Glad you're going to see someone about the depression.

Wyllow3 The insoles will help you to walk in a more balanced way. I've got 1 in my left shoe, but when I swapped shoes recently, I forgot to put the thing in the shoe, and my back ached so much. Well done on deciding to see your son and his family. It will be nice for you to see your GC and have some company.

SweetpeaSue Hope tomorrow will be better for you.

Doodle The hospice is a special place for you, isn't it.

DH and I saw Son1 and his stepson today, for a pub lunch. GD1 was at her friend's house, and GD2 was with her mum (who is being obstructive with Son1 again). Foxy has been coming for his food again for the last 3 nights. Hope everyone has a restful night x

edit - sleep in the playroom of course. duh.

Oh dear Doodle xx and hugs. The hospice sounds just right.

I'm so sorry to hear about a horrid pain and fibromyalgia day, Sweetpeasue Very warm thoughts heading your way.

I've just taken confidence in both hands and "booked" to go up and see family early ish in August. I do have to sell in the playroom which isn't ideal but their family patterns have changed since I was last year - they spend weekend mornings sort of hanging around in PJ's not doing a lot and that is what I do too.

I'll be back in later to catch up. Today I did not a lot but a de lux shower then the gym. Good natters.

Sweetpeasue sorry you’re having so much pain. Hope you feel better soon.
Wyllow I think it’s so good you can join zoom meeting and in other countries too. Must make you feel part of something big. Hope you manage to write what you are happy with in The Letter.
Purplepixie that is well out of order for your Dh to speak to you like that. I’m glad you put him right. Sounds like you need a break next week.
Ellie Anne the salesman doesn’t have to live there you do. If you want the handrail then stick to it having to stay.
HVDY isn’t it funny how some things can bypass time and appeal to so many generations. I used to love Tom and Jerry. It’s timeless. Glad you had a good time with LG.
Scaredycat have you started the diuretics yet. I always thought it made it difficult to go out much as you need the close proximity of a loo. Hope they work for you. Do you think you’re carrying extra fluid? I know they often give diuretics for heart failure to keep down a build up of fluid.
Hope you can cope with the meds ok
I had a lazy morning. Very tired. Went to the hospice this afternoon then Waitrose shopping.
Church Tomorrow then back to the hospice. It’s the day of DH’s funeral tomorrow so I’m spending some quiet time at the hospice.

Purplepixie Glad you called DH out on that- you must have felt really small. Hope your time away with friend helps sort things. Im sure seeing your GP about depression will be a good thing .

Sorry not up posting much . Bad day with Fibro and brain fog.
Take care all.x

The inserts will be 5 weeks HVDY. Yes, I’ve always known about most people having one leg shorter than the other and I’ve known it’s a matter of by how much and the persons lifestyle. I only made a big fuss here cos of getting the wrong leg and it was so daft of me and thank goodness I know now.

Well done for the Day of Domestics and oh my me and DS used to love Tom and Jerry!

May be its not just the chair lift itself, Ellie Anne ….depending on how much it really is needed.... and the extra rail is a good idea, as it is to use the stairs as long as we can.

I’m really cautions first thing in the morning but do have something to grab on both sides if needed….

Well, it’s another matter altogether if you have to lose the one hand rail!

Surely there is a way of keeping a handrail for all the other stair users?
Because this must happen a lot if only one person needs a chair. but its not fair to expect you to organise it all as per.

You are bound to feel scared, Scaredycat. It’s not just the “Result”, but the sheer uncertainty of it all. Holding you in the light always, keep sharing now xx
And life is most unfair. The lady of 105, the ones who suffer so young. It makes me feel, well, what really matters. Like your family around you. I'm trying to work on that one. My fault for just having one son!

I hope that Yuki decides that the Vet is a Nice Person and Quite Safe to be with 😘 next time. I do love it when people post phots with bigs and bobs of their lives, we need a nice Ellie Anne scene soon if you are going for walks.

When I was splitting up with coercive Ex PurplePixie money was not an issue as he didn’t have any to speak of. I have enough but not enough for say a care home in the future. But either ….is it money, or fear of living alone? Which is not easy with no family nearby or close friends, but also has lots of pluses. Like not being hassled or out down and suiting myself.

He he no gardening was done, too exhausted. I did however write not The Letter, but to the person who asked me can they talk to my psychologist pointing out they cannot talk about “a patient with out specific permission and even then it might now be possible.

I said I was a bit wary they were trying to “fix me” to avoid dealing with MrA, but OTOH they might be very benign, please just let me know, so will the psychologist.

I had a lovely Quaker zoom , today I joined one in the USA after the international one, fascinating and a good reading in Worship which I am trying to find it was so beautiful.

Then I had a long sleep, then did the weeks Big Shop and it was good to get out.

It sounds like you had a good exercise day there, Doodle I hope you got a nice haircut, and that you do make it to the hospice tomorrow. Well, I recommend you get your leg checked out. It’s not unusual apparently to only find out when we get older and difficulties arise. If a simple insert in your shoes helps, why not?

We do have trips out together. Today we went to a local market. He spoke to me like I was a piece of crap in front of a shop assistant. I had my say when we got out of the shop. I felt belittled. I said that I will stop going anywhere with him in future if he does that again. I’m going to stay with a friend for a few day on Thursday. It will give me time away to gather my thoughts. Also going to get in touch with drs to get some help for this depression. A chat with my youngest son tomorrow.

No Hvdy he is not disabled. I’ve looked at the stairs but I don’t think it’s suitable for another rail.
I’ve told him to get more quotes and he will not do that in a hurry .
I’ve told him I need the hand rail. The salesman said it’s better to remove it as it is nearer and takes up less space.
Oh I’m sick of the whole thing already.

EllieAnne As ScaredyCat says, it would be far simpler to have a handrail on each side of the stairs. I used to go to a few people who used a stairlift, but they were quite disabled. Your husband isn't really, is he?

ScaredyCat Having 2 things wrong with your heart must be worrying for you, but you do so well with walking and going out and about. The diuretics should help, but as you know, they'll make you wee more. I'm not worried about the colposcopy, just not looking forward to the indignity of being in that position. Poor Yuki. Hope he won't need to see the vet again for a long time. All of our previous cats used to cry on car journeys like that. Jaffa doesn't, but then he's hardly got a voice, anyway , bless him. It's nice that your family all love animals and help each other with pet-sitting. We're the same.

Hope everyone else is ok. LG came here, played, then watched Tom & Jerry ("Cat Mouse", as she calls it), had dinner and a bath, looked at some books and was collected at 8. x

Evening all.
Been out with the walking group today and then haircut. So tired I keep nodding off in the arm chair. Might go to the hospice tomorrow
Scaredycat I’m sorry you’ve got this additional worry.iknow lits of people have heart failure but not sure about the stages. Have they advised you of anything you need to do or take to help the situation? Hope you get in on with the diuretics. The need to be near a loo can be quite limiting.
Glad you still get pleasure from photography. That was DH’s favorite. Good you have nice friends to meet up with.
Lovely your family help each other out. Always useful to have someone to look after the pets.
Ellie Anne I’m surprised your Dh has decided on a stair lift so soon. Most people avoid it as much as possible. They are so expensive.
HVDY trust me my art isn’t good 🤣 but I do enjoy trying. I’m interested in improving. Hope you have a lovely time with LG.
Wow Wyllow what a good thing you went to this chap. Hope the new orthotics will help you. I’ve never thought about having one leg shorted than the other I wonder if that’s why I wobble when I walk
I think cortisone is a steroid Sweetpeasue . Hope the injection helps. Interesting about the suggestion of one in the chest. Not heard of that before.
My art class is lovely. Such nice people and they’re so kind to me. Hope you have. A peaceful weekend

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- yes I am anxious although trying hard not to be.
The 24/7 AF for the last 3 years has damaged my heart so it’s a bit of a double whammy. Will see how it goes .
Glad you like the picture- it’s a tunnel made of very strong cardboard and is for scratching . They like it now but were a bit wary at first.
Fluffball cuddles must be so soothing. It’s so nice cuddling willing animals.
Good you feel happier at Book Club- it was worth persevering.
Your DH chest pain sounds totally different from his angina pain- I do hope the injections help him.
HVDY- yes I picked up the diuretics this morning. The other meds I couldn’t get as the ones they had had maize starch in them and I get a horrible rash from that.So hopefully the Consultant will give me a prescription for a liquid form of the drug. It’s the combo of Af and HF that is not good.
The colposcopy result is a worry for you even though you,ve had it before doesn’t make it any less worrisome. Hope the treatment has improved since last time.
Lucky old Madagascar man. Although he’s probably taken good care of himself . A lady picking up meds in the pharmacy today who looked about 105 said to the assistant she wasn’t on any medication- luck of the draw eh.
Yuki was so scared at the vets he shook like a leaf - even his ears!! They yowled all the way there but shut up on the way home- luckily only 5 minutes away. They were good in with the vet though. They walked into their carry things like Jaffa- don’t know whether they will next time😻
Doodle- I,m sure your Art work is lovely. Everyone has their own style and that’s what makes it so interesting.Even if you are all doing the same thing they will all be so different.Wish I still had the enthusiasm but it’s gone- still love photography though. But being with nice people is the best bit. I love my Art friends from years ago and we still meet up.
We had our DGD3 round last evening for a Chinese as she is babysitting DD 2 moggies while they are on holiday
.She,ll come again on Sunday for a roast with her boyfriend who is staying home to look after their little cat.
EllieAnne- if your husband can still do the stairs it would be easier and cheaper to just put another rail on the opposite side.
It’s amazing how much easier it is to go upstairs with a rail both sides. My sister had one installed when she was really ill and it’s brilliant.
He’s not good at taking your feelings into consideration is he.
You must have been fuming not to mention embarrassed. He must have a very thick skin.
PurplePixie.- you’re probably right . Depression is so debilitating and it colours every aspect of your life.
Not having money worries is not to be sneezed at although you pay a high price for that security.
Do you go on holiday or have days out together?
Wyllow- yes Yuki takes mouse sitting very seriously. He always has a little worried face but actually loves to play.
I am scared of the HF even though I knew one day it might be so. Thank you for coming on my journey with me.
P sounds great- a brave and kind lady.Hope you re able to get out together for a couple of trips.
The leg mystery has been solved! Good job the inserts fit your Skechers- good excuse to get a new pair!
Yes take time with your letter- no need to rush it as it’s so important.
Hope you, e had a lovely gardening day. At least now the soil is easier to dig into after the rain.
We,ve had Love in a mist seed itself in ours - it’s so pretty.

Love to all and take care of yourselvesx

He finds coming down a bit difficult first thing in the morning but can manage ok after that.
Had an email today reducing the price a bit. !

EllieAnne Does your husband find it difficult to get up and down stairs? Making an appointment without mentioning it to you was rude. I bet you felt embarrassed when the man showed up.

SweetpeaSue I hope the injections will help your husband. He must get fed-up with it all. Yes, Madagascar Man is very lucky. He's 83.

Doodle I bet your artwork is good. So long as you enjoy going, that's the main thing. It poured with rain here, too - DH and I were out, looking at fence panels (we know how to live ).

Wyllow Day Centre Man is 83, has always walked a lot. He goes bird-watching. He went to Costa Rica last year (he's not short of money). Good luck to him. Glad your orthopaedic appointment went so well. I think most people have got one leg shorter than the other. Good job you went and discovered what the problem really is. When will the insoles be ready?

Not going out today - washing, vacuuming, etc., later (how exciting), then LG will be here at 5 (parents going out for a meal) for dinner, play and bath. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x