Black Dogs 27

Met my friend in costa for coffee this morning. There were a few folks in so it felt normal. Nothing else planned but it’s quite nice outside cold but sunny so I think I will drive over to the woods for a walk this afternoon.
Dh is all out of routine because the shop didn’t have his usual paper and his usual programmes aren’t on at the usual time.
Our roads were quite slippy this morning but thawed out now.

Wyllow I meant we all care.

Hi all

HVDY- Glad you managed to enjoy your meal out together. Your tummy didn’t know what had hit it I bet!! That’s a big weight loss .
Hope you have a lovely family day today - is LG coming too?
What a weird visit from your husbands sister- poor DH having to stay up an extra hour!
Doodle- I hope you had a lovely day with your Son nd his family. There will always be a missing place at the table but I,m sure you all had many happy reminisces as we always do.
Do hope you feel better too and have a good day today.
Nadateturbe- Thank you for the hugs- we can always use a hug.
Sending one right back to you. Hope you enjoyed the visit to your Sons. Yes a full on day is very tiring. My DH said he wished he’d had a volume switch - if only. I did consider taking my hearing aids out😀
EllieAnne- your day sounds like it was better than anticipated. Lovely that your DD was able to be part of it if only for a little while.
Hope you have a sunny day today and maybe a little walk.
SweetPeaSue- your day too sounded good- how lovely to have a cooking Son. Sorry DH didn’t feel too good but I,m sure he was happy to be with everyone.
Brave of DiL Mum to come as well, memories for your DiL.
Hope DH feels better today.
Wyllow- I understand why you need normality back. I expect you feel like a ship without a paddle when vital services are absent.
As HVDY said please don’t let that ignorant man ruin all that you,ve achieved this year. Your Sis seems to know when you need her - connections from a distance are so important .
It is always nice when things get back to normal but we have 2 more days of the madness.
Take care Wyllow and remember how much we all are and think of all the good things that you can enjoy when all is normal again.

Candy,Allsorts, La Crepescule, and all the others who pass this way have the best day you can. Love to allxx

Wyllow3 What a shame you wake up feeling so low, especially as you'd done so well in getting your "old" self back. Don't let one stupid man's actions spoil your recovery. I'll be glad to get back to normal, even though I'm looking forward to the family all coming later for a buffet.

DH's sister said she'd put our Christmas cards through the door yesterday lunchtime. She hadn't turned up by 10pm, so I got ready for bed (shower, face cream, pyjamas, etc). She knocked on the door at 10.30! I went up to bed, left him to answer the door . She left at 11.30. Hope everyone has a decent day today x

That is really impressive, HVDY. I suppose one could say it's the only upside of a tum upset, I hope the curry settles! Yes, I remember you have more family tings tomorrow.

I'm glad today went well Sweetpeasue. That despite all it was a day enjoyed. You're discovered the wonderful gift of a Cooking Son, I see 🥰. Yes, everyday we hope for better DH and arm news and hope it's soon.

I'm glad you popped in, Doodle. Take good care now, I expect you are very tired, a late night last night too.

I got into a bad down state, tho I posted the book. I had an afternoon sleep, and woke, as I do every time now, very, very depressed. I sort of pull myself together for the day...but well, before MrA was getting better and could actually say "enjoying life" its made me snappy and not trusting people with flash backs on waking.

But a nice phone call from sister has picked me up a bit, made me feel connected.

I wont be sorry for things to get back to more normal tho - techie stuff fixed (yes, one of my hearing aids has conked out today!!!!!), shops and roads normal, and of course Doctors and Mental health services past the Christmas closings, the gym open as per.

Nadateturbe Hope you managed to see your son and spend a couple of hours or so there.

EllieAnne I'm pleased you had a nice meal at your son's. My mum once forgot to take the bag of giblets out of the turkey (so it was all cooked in there), but we still ate it - she told us later. Glad you got to chat with your daughter as well.

Wyllow3 It was just the 2 of us today, but we had WhatsApps from all the family. Glad you had messages from yours.

SweetpeaSue Lovely for you to see your family. The GC all seem to have tech things now. Hope your DH feels better tomorrow.

Doodle Hope your time at your son's went well. Did you have turkey?

Had a very good Indian buffet-type meal. There were 3 different salads, 3 starters, 6 curries, and naans, poppadoms, etc. I ate very little but enjoyed it. There was a family of 17 next to us, who each piled their plates high and went back for seconds and thirds! My stomach has been off since we got home - but I've now lost 2st 1lb! So good news . x

Ellie Anne so pleased your daughter phoned and you all had a chance to chat. Your day sounds nice. I hope you enjoyed it and can relax a bit now.
Wyllow glad you got out for a bit. HVDY hope you feel better today.
Sweetpeasue glad you were able to be at your sons and with your DIls mum. Moments to treasure.
Scaredycat Nadateturbe Candy Nanny and all hope your have a peaceful and restful Christmas.

EllieAnne So glad you were with family for dinner. So pleased too , your DD rang you that's lovely.
HVDY Crossing fingers you managed to have something for dinner and the tummy churning has stopped.
Wyllow Your description of 'keeping up' the talk and trying to make others feel comfortable by finding sma talk , I can relate to exactly. Leaves one thoroughly worn out. My aunt has that book - it was some lovely thoughts that are so true.
Nadateturbe Hope you managed to get to your son's but Im sure youve said before he is very understanding of your illness so always another day if you didnt.
Doodle Hoping youve managed to get through the days without too much sadness. Sending a big hug.
Scaredycat Merry Christmas to you and thankyou for your caring posts to us all.

Had lovely dinner at son's, son cooked everything. We were there a few hrs though I could see DH wasnt well at all- just wiped out. DILs mum managed to sit at table and could barely eat but it was so nice to see her. Grandchildren happily playing with their 'techy' presents.
Dropped DGS off at his mum's ( for his second Christmas 🙂) and home to chill.
DH not right but hopefully better tomorrow.

Relax all, and have a peaceful night.xx

Ellie Anne - I'm so glad to hear the good bits - DD - reaching out, everyone having a word, and that it was good to see them.

Maybe tomorrow will be kind and its will be sunny.

Back from sons and watching Christmas Tv.
Had a ni meal. D in L forgot to take the stuffing out of the oven and nobody noticed. She was so annoyed with herself. It was good to see them all. Had a few glasses of Buck’s Fizz but it’s not very strong so it’s worn off now.
It was cold and sunny but no chance of a walk. Maybe tomorrow. Dd phoned when we were eating so I put her on FaceTime and everyone had a word.
I hope everyone is getting through the day

https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/202512/medium-cb4kir-img-1553.jpeg%3C/span%3E https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/202512/medium-28pcqh-img-1554.jpeg%3C/span%3E

More from the book....

I only think I "get it" because when very depressed, having to "come out of it" to communicate takes a mountain of effort. One's inner resources are focussed on staying as well as possible in our heads.

Then there is the guilt of "not being there enough" for others...yet push beyond the boundaries due to loneliness and needing contact.

I'm now just reading the boy, fox, mole etc and its dishing out loving advice on every page, centrally, "be kind to yourself" and "one day you'll look back and realise how hard to was, and just how well you did".

One thing thats hardest to learn is to make the right choices how to spend the energy that we do have...and choose toxic people, then snap at people at the wrong time because of "over extending"

I mess up regularly, and say the wrong things.

Wyllow3 you've got it spot on. Thank you. It's good to know someone empathises.

I hope you do manage it, nadatetrube. Previously you've mentioned rellies who do and dont understand.

I think that people are more likely to understand your physical tiredness: what they don't understand is the "people fatigue" factor,

where instead of easy going conversations that can go on for an afternoon, concentration just wears out and down until you scarcely feel "there".

More for some people than others?

Thinking of you all. Sending big hugs to those who need them. Thank you Wyllow3. Hoping I have enough energy to get to sons for a couple of hours, after dinner. Couldn't manage dinner as well.
I pray that you all have the best day possible.
Love xx

Feeling better, I've had a short walk and the sun was out, and a nice WhatsApp call to family.

May it go well at Sons, Sweetpeasue, and you both are able to feel a little better today.

I do hope you manage to eat something today, HVDY, and have a warm family day.

Ellie Anne - is there sun where you live? Can you manage a walk? I realise today will be very difficult for you x

Merry Christmas everyone. Do hope everyone is feeling better today. Hope you make it to your meal HVDY.
Sorry about your bad night Wyllow. Enjoy that Christmas pudding.
Just going out to son's now. Very grey day here . Love to all.xx

EllieAnne Profiteroles are delicious. Never made them, though. I bet you're good at those things. Hope you have a lovely day. I feel quite weak (haven't had anything to eat since Tuesday teatime), but hope I'll be ok for the meal later.

Doodle Hugs for you. Hope you have a nice day with your son and his family.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope you all have the nicest day possible x

Hvdy I hope you’re feeling better today

Not a brilliant night at all, the 4am demons. (current demons always say the same, "you re ing into a deep depression again). I've got appointments early in Jan with both psychologist and psychiatrist (seeing her is maybe annually or 6 months) and really glad to be able to talk this over

It's always good when the light comes but not the sunny day I'd hoped for.

I was thinking of you in the night nadateturbebe and hope you are able to see family this Christmas.

Best days possible, BD's.

I just missed your post as it was at the bottom of the page, Ellie Anne, so sorry and I’m so glad you came in. I’m glad the day passed OK, but of course it’s a strain, the “weight” placed on Christmas. I’m not surprised you were tired, and enjoy the rest of the Asti Spumante. What are you watching?
I’m watching a lightweight thriller.

I hope tomorrow is as OK as it can be.

I rung DS earlier for a chat and to tell him about the CFS and that I’d not be able to come up, maybe by my birthday. He’s known me with a bout of CFS before, he said they may be able o come down in January if I dont’ come up. It was nice easy going chat, they are having other family visitors, over the next dew days, and I will check in tomorrow on WhatsApp mid morning.

First however, I', cracking open the posh M n S Christmas pudding.

I bought a big one.
Just for me 🙂

Doodle Thinking of you over Christmas. You're not feeling sorry for yourself ,you're grieving your lovely husband. Sending a hug.
Wyllow Thankyou.
Missed Carol's at King's but listening to the Carol's on TV at Westminster Abbey.
Really lovely.
HVDY Oh no that sounds horrid. Hope you're OK for tomorrow's meal.
EllieAnne Thankyou for your greetings. Hope all goes well tomorrow.

That memory in time, those traditions, in such as long and loving marriage - how could you feel otherwise, Doodle? Of course it's such a poignant moment.

The service with the children must have been lovely, and I had imagined you going to the late service. But don't overdo it, huh? Kings had all the traditional carols and included "Little town of Bethlehem", I bet we all recall it from our schools as children.

Evening all. Lovely to soo every one here supporting each other and so caring.
Sweetpeasue you have not been a moaning minnie. You’ve had unbelievable stress and troubles to cope with. I hope you manage to have a peaceful Christmas .
Allsorts I find Christmas and present buying a bit stressful too. Lots of people share those feelings. Hope you manage some relaxing time now.
Wyllow it’s been a stressful year for you too in many ways but you’ve made so much improvement. Going to gym and Quakers, out for coffee. Contacting family. So pleased you’ve come through and are in a better place now.
Scaredycat you write such lovely things and are so caring.
I’ve been to the 4pm crib service (mayhem 😊) but good to see so many children in church.
Going to the 10pm service tonight with DS2 then going to his tomorrow for my Christmas dinner. Hope you have a lovely time with your family.
HVDY your brother sounds a bit difficult to live with. You do your best to care for him but don’t seem to get much back.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas with your family.
Sorry to hear you felt so bad yesterday. I’ve still got a pain in my neck and ears. Feel like I’m going down with something but not sure. Hope you feel better for your meal.
Ellie Anne so pleased you saw your son and family today. Little ones get so excited for Christmas. Have a lovely time with your family tomorrow. I love profiteroles. How clever you are to make them
I’m quite chilly and cold tonight and a bit lonely. I will be with our son later but just miss Dh being here with all the Christmas wrapping and things. DH would always go off into another room for a while to wrap my presents and tussle with the sellotape. Just feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight but I’ve had so much to be thankful for.
Have a happy Christmas all and thank you for your caring and support 💕💕

What a lovely long post, Sweetpeasue. I was wondering what you would do tomorrow, it sounds like Son and family are catering?

You know what I'm going to say next...you aren't a moaning Minnie, you share "how it is" and the courage you've had. As have others here: we know different pains and joys.

I've got Carols at Kings on the TV.

after at last getting a decent afternoon sleep: I have to plan this in everyday from now on.

Thinking of BD's not in and or just reading.