Black Dog 23

HVDY thank you I’ve had a lovely day today. Sunshine most of the day and been to visit gardens with friends. Lunch out and coffee. It made me sad to see the trees changing colour knowing that DH so loved to photograph the trees in autumn. If he’d been with me the camera would be clicking all the time and the rest of the time he would be holding my hand.
That playgroup sounds good. Has it been decided which one Little Girl is going to ?
Scaredycat I’m afraid you’re completely wrong, my art is dreadful 🤣🤣. I am fully aware how awful it is but the lovely ladies at art class are most encouraging.
Nice to see your DD. I’m meeting DS2 for coffee during the week. Not seen him for a bit.
Ellie Anne I’m not surprised your friend is stressed. It’s a traumatic thing to go through.
Sweetpeasue big hug to you too. Glad you got checked over properly. Hope you’ve managed a rest today and feel a bit better now.

Willow ive been to a lovely garden today. Being out in the sunshine definitely helped. I know winters coming but hope you can, with the help of your carer, get out as much as possible x

Ellie Anne that is a relief to hear it wants as bad as your tressed friend told you.

You go for those highlights, HVDY. What a joy LittleGirl is in your lives. And a good time with Son1 too, nice to hear GD1 is good with LittleGirl.

You are very perceptive Scaredycat, yes seeing others is difficult and being seen feels it too. Tho I dont imagine other’s lives are great., it’s hard seeing friends out chatting.
I do so hope you see DD and have a good old natter with Sis.
Hope the jabs dont make you too grotty.

Big hug Sweetpeasue and well done for getting to the appointment despite all.

The colours are at their best now Doodle so what a bittersweet time in the gardens. hugs! As someone with art training I can assure you there is no such thing as Bad Art - unless you are trying to make a photographic representation. Its the personal expression that matters..

Totally different for me I know but its the happier times with Ex out and about that also overwhelm me sometimes…then because of the abuse, did he ever really love me…

No, I didnt get out today either, festered in my dressing gown. Hiding from exposure to feelings that doing things brings. I cant explain properly, its not logical or sensible - some encouragement is good as long as I feel understood when I fail.

EllieAnne So nobody died? I hope not and hope all casualties recover well.
SweetpeaSue Do you know what the bloid tests are for?

Doodle glad you had a nice day. Bittersweet memories for you, but nice memories of happy times. The playgroups are all closed now for the 2 week half term break, but we'll definitely be returning to the Thursday one, also the Tuesday care home one every fortnight. We'll be joining a new Tuesday group soon, too. She's going to nursery every Thursday, starting Jan 9th, so we'll only have her on Tuesdays from then.

Wyllow3 Have you used your new microwave yet? DH's sister has got a combination one and uses it for everything, she loves it.

I'm fed-up. The groin pain (torn hip cartilage) is back. I'd been getting on so well, so not sure what's started it again (perhaps too much bending on Thurs). Another boring day ahead. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

The Granddog

That dog has big ears ! Is he your son’s? The young man’s girlfriend was driving and she was killed. He’s still in icu but they are going to tell him today.

Hi all.
Well so far so good with the jabs- she was so good we didn’t feel a thing. Will have to wait to chat to my Sister as we are both busy- my niece still hasn’t got a date!!
EllieAnne- thank goodness the crash wasn’t as bad as first thought although your friends GS has a hard time ahead of him. To lose his GF is a terrible thing both for her family and him.I hope the news is broken to him gently.
SweetPeaSue- glad you were able to get your appointment. It sounds like you had a thorough examination. I hope,you feel more comfortable today and are able to get out with DH .
Doodle- so good to hear of your lovely day out yesterday.
Sad but also some lovely memories of your DH . Would you enjoy taking photographs? It does make you look at things differently.
I agree with Wyllow- having been drawing and painting for a long while there is no Bad Art. It is the interpretation of what you see and feel - so many different ways to represent the same subject. I,m glad you have nice people in your Class - they were all new to art once. The trick is to loosen up a bit and above all enjoy yourself.
Wyllow- those happy times you had with your ex and those memories are fighting a battle in your head with the bad times.
He loved you then I,m sure but the abuse and gradual destruction of your confidence was unforgivable . It has left you almost unable to take any joy from life as if you don’t deserve it. Well you have taken brave steps and it’s totally understandable when there are days when you feel failure and despair. But rejoice in your achievements too.
Hope you’re pleased with the new Microwave- “ Ping” meals are so good now when cooking feels like a chore.
HVDY- I,m glad you’re keeping on with the Care Home Playgroup- so good for LittleGirl and the people whose lives she brightens up with her sweet little face. You have done a wonderful job with the playgroups and enabling her to feel confident wherever she goes.
Oh what a nuisance that pain is back- yes maybe you just overdid it on Thursday. Let’s hope a boring day eases it.
Love your Granddog- looks full of mischief. That’s such a good name for your family pets - Grandcats and Granddogs Will use it in future!
Love to all

EllieAnne What awful news for him. I hope he has some support. The dog is a Collie/Husky. She's Son1's GF's dog and is 5yrs old.

ScaredyCat hope you and your sister get together soon. Can't believe your niece is still no nearer to having an operation. LittleGirl is very confident, she toddles off and gets involved in everything, barely looks to see where we are!

How's everyone been? DH and I met Son1, his girls and the dog on a park near us. Fed the ducks and swans, walked the dog, then we all had a drink at a nearby dog-frienly pub. Pleasant afternoon, and the sun has been out. Off for my flu jab now x

Our local park

Wyllow it may sound daft but do you think you need some form of grief counselling? So much of what you say resonates with me. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
Ellie Anne not as bad as you were first told but dreadful never the less. Poor girl and what a lot for your friends GSons family to come to terms with.
How’s your weekend going?
HVDY so sorry you’ve got your pain back. Hope with rest it will go away again soon. You’re busy with Little girl must be lovely to spend so much time with her. That dog is beautiful. Is it a German Shepherd cross?
Lovely photo from the park. Glad you had a good time with the family.
Scaredycat hope you sleep ok tonight and the jabs don’t cause a problem. I did take a photo for DH but to be honest it was his passion not mine. I’m just so glad I managed to get the camera off him to take some pictures of him. There are loads of me.
Sweetpeasue how have you been? Sending you hugs x

HVDY What a lovely park to go to ,it sounds a lovely afternoon for you all. Littlegirl seems a very confident toddler which I'm sure is helped by feeling loved so much and that security at home. Oh I'm so sorry about your hip/ groin pain back again. Hope it gets better soon . Sorry don't know what blood test it was. For once I didn't ask much ,I was totally out of it- could hardly focus.
Oh those photos were ones I took on holiday --Rydal Water and the wooded are at back of the house we stayed in.
EllieAnne Oh that's awful about the girlfriend of your friend' s GS. Her family and boyfriend will be devastated. Thank goodness the young children were OK.
Scaredycat Thoughtful words to Doodle and Wyllow - well everyone really. Glad the jabs haven't had any bad effects 🤞. Awful about your neice having to wait so long. Think I already mentioned my cousin and how long she had to wait for the same op. Unbelievable really.
Wyllow What can I say - the abuse you've had has broken your confidence and self esteem- . You can build it up again but small steps.You will always have encouragement here and understanding when you are unable to go forward. Sending you a warm hug.x
Doodle Hope today has been kind to you.Really good to hear about your lovely day yesterday. I'm so pleased you're having fun at your art class and have made some good friends.

Bit better today though still same painwise. Feel awful coming in to say this lately. Really low but know there are others worse.
Hoping all BDs have a peaceful night and thinking of all not personally mentioned.

DoodleCollie/Husky cross. She's very pretty, well-trained and friendly. They've also got an elderly cat. How's your day been?

SweetpeaSue It's a lovely park, with a children's play park, also a cafe, sensory garden and a registry office. There were 2 wedding parties there when we visited. Your photos are great. Did you take them on your mobile or camera? I hope your pain settles down and allows you to sleep ok.

She’s a lovely dog.

Caught up with today. What a thoughtful space this is. V Bad day again, still in dressing gown. (Doodle I'd say counselling is not advised atm for me). Days not speaking to anyone, tho I post.

So sorry your groin pain is back, HVDY. Super park.

Hoping that you get to talk to Sis soon, Scaredycat

I'm glad, so glad, you took those pictures, Doodle.

Sweetpeasue....never feel bad to be down in here..

Ellie Anne, thank you for the sad clarification.

Night night all.
, and thinking of BD's who read and sometimes come in.

Sweetpeasue sorry about the pain but pleased it’s a bit easier. Today I drove to my cousins for the first time on my own. Very scared as I don’t really know the way. Made it there and back ok so was pleased with myself. Had a nice lunch and back home before dark.
HVDY there seem to be so many husky / husky cross around. At one time you never saw one. They have blue eyes don’t they? Very pretty dog. Yes I had a nice day thank you. Hope you did too.
Wyllow I was in two minds about the counselling but the lady I speak to is very good. She’s offered some helpful thoughts. Sorry you’ve had a bad day again. Hope for better tomorrow.
Scaredycat did you FT your sister? How is she doing and your niece? Hope you had a good day.
Ellie Anne nd Candy thinking of you too and Nanny

Hi all
Doodle- well done today with your visit to your cousin. Driving somewhere new is always scary but next time you,ll be more relaxed. Nice to have a cousin I only had one and he died quite a while ago. Didn’t FT with my Sister so next weekend we,ll have lots to catch up with. My niece has had another scan and blood test but no date for her op. It’s crazy the cyst is very big now . Saw DD today and we had coffee and a good old natter.
Wyllow- do hope you,ve felt more like getting dressed and maybe out for a while. Although if your weather has been like ours today maybe not- it’s rained all day.
HVDY- hope the pain hasn’t got worse today. Lovely park you have - does LittleGirl like feeding the ducks?
SweetPeaSue- hope today has been more comfortable for you.
Wishing all a peaceful nightx

A really big well done Doodle for that. drive. I'm glad you are settling in with the counsellor after intial doubts.

Its really bad Scaredycat how long niece is having to wait.. Nice to see DD and natter.

I didn't get out but did do a wash and had a shower, and had to have a tum clear out day. Tomorrow is the weekly shop.

Quiet in here today, hope regulars and occasional visitors are as well as possible.

Night night all x

Doodle Huskies have blue eyes, but this dog has got brown. She's beautiful, though. Well done on the driving. Glad you had a good day. Do your cousins live far away? I've got 2 cousins, not seen them for years. One is a Pastor, usually lives in Jerusalem, but is on the Isle of Wight at the moment.

ScaredyCat Nice that you spent time with your daughter. Surely, when the Consultant sees your niece's scan, they'll do something? Perhaps those things have to be a certain size?

Wyllow3 Glad you got the washing done. Hope your shopping day goes ok.

I've been up since 6.30, Jaffa is hanging around waiting for food, but he's got his operation today (tooth extraction and neutering) so can't have anything. He'll have roast turkey later, though. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Doodle It's amazing how you keep going - though I get we've virtually got no choice in the end. That drive must have been scary - I admire you so much for your determination to koko. I wish I could take away your heartbreaking inner grief. So much love to you.
Wyllow Hope you managed to get out for that shop. So much of my post to Doodle is for you too.I know it's a big thing for you to just get dressed so well done that you managed that yesterday. I don't know how I'd cope being alone and it must be sooo very hard without family or friends to talk to. I know it means a lot to me to come here and say it how it is. I hope you'll see your nice MH worker this week. You need that communication with another human being. Real communication. So many of us try to keep communication open but it's not * real* .
Scaredycat So disgraceful for your neice to have to wait so long. These things should be taken away much sooner- my cousin had to wait such a long time and was size of a grapefruit but should and could have had it taken away sooner if more Dr's available. Understand triaging for serious cases but.....
HVDY Good luck for Jaffa's op today. Hoping your hip/groin pain isn't at its worst for you taking him down there to the vets ect. You will be a little anxious for him I'm sure.

Sorry not feeling too focused right now- blurry head not helped with painkillers.
Son asked us if wanted to go to his yesterday for dinner. Hadn't seen him much and he's back at work for 3 weeks on Wednesday. He's trying hard as his MIL not great. Bad situation. Lots of effort to go yesterday as not well. It was difficult- strained- . Everyone trying to keep conversation 'normal' I felt . Poor MIL diagnosed terminal illness.
Have said we'd have DGS after school tomorrow. Need to keep contact but this pain throughout body means organising days. Also have MH group tomorrow afternoon. Can only try.
Very low ,tears today with it all.
Can't understand why everything keeps getting worse health wise for DH and self but understand it's others too.
Don't feel making a lot of sense but just wanted to come in and explain absence.
Thinking about all those here and others who are having a hard time and just read. Love to all always.x

Sorry about negativity of last post.

Evening all. Been a funny day today. Monday is normally a bad day for me but I’ve managed a bit better today mainly due to a nice walk with friend and the counsellor phoning this afternoon. I could so easily dissolve into tears but I’m trying to focus on something else and keep going.
Sweetpeasue sorry the pain is causing so much of a problem. Of course you want to be there to support your son and his family. How is your DIL coping? And you little grandson too. Is he aware?
You and your DH have been through a lot this year and it’s bound to have an affect on your mental health too. Hope tomorrow’s appointment goes well.
HVdY yes I was quite pleased with myself to get to my cousins, it’s about 45 minutes from here. She’s the only one I have any contact with really and even that is spasmodic. Cousin wise we’re very spread out some I haven’t seen for 30 years or more.
Hope Jaffas treatment has gone ok and he’s feeling better. Bet he enjoys his Turkey.
Wyllow well done on the wash and shower. Hope you manage to get your shopping done tomorrow.
I’m trying to do a jigsaw. My heart isn’t really in it but I’m trying to keep my mind occupied.
Scaredycat so sorry for your niece. She must feel so uncomfortable and concerned. Can’t understand why they can’t give her a date, Glad you saw your DD. Hope you get to catch up with your sister soon.
I’m meeting DS2 for coffee tomorrow. Not seen him in a while so that will be nice.

Hi all
HVDY- hope Jaffa is home now and recovering from his Ops. He,ll be hungry so bet he,ll enjoy his turkey. One of my DD rescue cats had to have all but one of his remaining teeth out shortly after they got him and he eats like it’s going out of style.
The last time we heard the size of my Niece,s cyst it was 31:cms!! How big do they have to be!!
Hope your pain didn’t play up too much today and you are more comfortable this evening.
Wyllow- yesterday was a day of getting yourself sorted wasn’t it. Hope your tum is comfortable again now.
Do you always go to the same shop for your weekly trip. I hope sometimes you get yourself some nice goodies. We live very close to an out of town M&S with food section- it is a constant source of temptation.
Lovely to see DD yesterday- we can chat for England.
Doodle- hope you,ve had a relaxing day today after your pioneering trip yesterday.
.SweetPeaSue- your poor DiL must be so scared and worried for her Mum. Must make things very difficult for your Son too. You did well to go for dinner - at least it was a bit of normality for them but understandably subdued.
Seeing DGS tomorrow although tiring will also cheer you up I,m sure. Yes you can only try the MH group if it’s too much you can always leave early.
Your poor mind has gone into overdrive with the pain and worry - no need to explain anything . See after yourself and hope you have a peaceful nightxx

I met my friend for coffee this morning - she had been to have tests at the hospital . She just texted me to say she had had a call to say one was abnormal and she has to go again next week - another lovely friend to worry about. Her husband is not well either.
On the plus side one of our DiL has just had the all clear for her breast cancer - wonderful news she has been so brave.

Love to those we haven’t heard from for a while- think of you all.

SweetpeaSue Oh, you must be sick of being in pain all the time. You and your husband have had such a lot of health problems to cope with and it's bound to make you feel low and sad. I hope your appointment goes well. Having your grandson should cheer you up, I hope it all goes well. How is your DIL coping with the news about her mum?

Doodle You're doing so very well. You're stronger than you think.

Jaffa went at 9.30, we collected him at 5. He was neutered, microchipped, had his claws cut, and NINE teeth out. The vet thinks he's 7 - 8 years old. He was drowsy and wobbly on his legs until an hour ago, but he's had a cuddle, licked all the gravy off his food (refused the freshly-cooked turkey), and wants to go out (not allowed).

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent sleep tonight x

That’s an early start today HVDY. Concern for Jaffa! That’s a real lot for him to have done at once (especially the 9 teeth), but it shows how much he trusts you on recovering with the cuddle.

You are really having a lot of pain Sweetpeasue and it’s clearly a tough time in the family with your sons MiL. Understandable you feel so low with it and concerns for DH too. Just hugs. I hope you manage to see DGS.

You did well to make your Monday a bit better than usual Doodle. You do well to make what must be a huge effort to keep going. Your loss so great. I hope seeing DS2 helps a bit.

Oh Scaredycat - about your friend - life is so unfair -so sorry.
Great DiL news.

I did do the shopping. I buy and eat the same things for each day each week - its a routine that makes sure I eat without having to bother, maybe I’m self punishing about treats.
I see my MH worker later this week she’s not the one I relate best to.
Today was so bad as in whats the point even what the point in ringing MH I took extra meds to knock me out for a bit.

Best nights possible, BD’s, and may there be some sun tomorrow.