Is anyone else as daft as me?

My favourite one was someone saying they had heard a ‘lady at the reception desk’ saying she had forgotten to bring her dog.

To the vet!

Witzend, you can buy vegan gravy granules these days in most large supermarkets. Bisto make one. If I'm cooking for vegans I use the water from the vegetables (as I always do for normal gravy) mixed with vegan granules. Just don't add meat juices!

flappergirl exactly as I was supposed to be doing!! 😬

I once put mayo onto icecream mistaking it for cream. shows how greedy I am I had to eat it as I didn't want to admit. Horrible!

I bought a new liquid eyeliner, and after a few weeks decided it really didn't give a "dramatic look".

Then someone showed me how to actually remove the lid.

I sprayed furniture polish on my hair thinking it was hairspray! Didn't hold my hair in place but it did smell nice

I have been cleaning my kitchen worktop surfaces with mould remover for days. The kitchen spray container is roughly the same dark blue colour. I only noticed when it was empty.

My excuse is I am partially sighted and I am sticking to it!

My father never bought his own toiletries but was very lavish with mine and my mums. How we laughed when he sprayed his underarms with fly killer thinking it was deodorant. 😂

I was about to make an omelette and had broken the eggs into a glass. Whilst frying the onions - and so not really looking sideways - I picked up my glass of wine (as I always have a drink whilst cooking). Took a swig of what I thought was wine but which turned out to be raw eggs.

I started to have real trouble with my feet.

They were fine when I was just pottering indoors, wearing slippers, but each time I put shoes of any type on - Oh! The pain!!!

I made a doctors appointment because I just couldn't work out what was going on, but thought I would try one last time to wear shoes.

I hobbled into a shoe shop and explained the issue, almost in tears, and the lady measured my feet.

I told her I was a size 5, but when she measured, we found one foot was a size 7 and the other a size 6 and a half.

nanaK54

I once sprayed hair spray under arms instead of anti-perspirant

I did the opposite, spraying antiperspirant on my hair!

I once spent the morning giving one-to-one lessons at my kitchen table, then discovered at lunchtime that I had a clothes peg clipped on the front of my blouse. It must have lodged itself there when I hung some clothes out to dry first thing in the morning. No one told me.
Another time I discovered I had been wearing my jumper inside out all day. Again, no one said a word.

Only a few weeks ago I went shopping and only realized when I got back that I had been wearing two completely different boots.

There really is no hope for me.

I once searched through the bottom of my handbag and passed to DH what I thought was a little tube of cold sore cream, only to discover after he'd applied it that it was a tube of eyelash glue.

Taking my vitamin supplements one morning, in my usual catatonic first thing state, I swallowed the dog's vitamin pills too. 'Mentioned it at work, and a colleague later brought me in a cup of tea and a plate wtih two bonios.

These are wonderful Maybe I'm not the daftest after all.

I think I have just showered in shampoo

I was absentmindedly making myself a cup of instant coffee and poured the water from the kettle into the large jar of coffee granules instead of my mug!!! Expensive mistake.

When staying with my sister one Christmas I offered to make the brandy sauce/white sauce for the children. She said that the cornflour was in a tall container so off I went to the kitchen. Ten minutes later, having added copious amounts the sauce still hadn't thickened and I complained that there must be something wrong with it. My sister came to investigate - it was icing sugar! Luckily I hadn't added the brandy and the children, now in their forties, still say that it was the best white sauce ever.

I left a tube of Savlon in the bathroom and hubby attempted to clean his teeth with it.

I have umpteen stories to tell on these..one of the most memorable was to do with my late husband. He was terribly claustrophobic and hated flying so we were always given some Diazepam for flights. On the 9 hour flight home Barry kept saying to me that the tablet wasn’t working, I just kept saying to him that he had to give it time. Half way through the flight my patience had worn thin with him saying the same thing and I told him off (very rare for us to have a tiff in 40 yrs of marriage). It was only when we finally made it home I discovered that I had actually given him an aspirin.. he never let me forget that one.

At the time, being a new mother, we had one of the godfathers staying with us for a few days.
I decided I'd cook a nice meal for us, so I got everything out in order to put it away once used so to clear up as I went.
Well, through dinner he asked what it was called and I told him, 'Sausage Stretcher'.
"Hmm," he said. "Where are the sausages?"
Oh heck, I'd only gone and put them back in the fridge with something else!! 🤣🤣

It was still nice, though. That was about 34 years ago, and I'm still as crazy!

I remember going to work in shoes and realised that although very similar the heels were slightly different in height. So I walked slightly wonky. It was not till I got to work when someone said have you got a bag leg? I said no why - they said I was walking odd. Oh dear was I embarrassed.
I am not the only one though - My Daughter when she was young was rushed out to church by us wearing her Winnie the Pooh Slippers, sitting at the front of the church facing the people all we could see was little Winnie the Pooh slippers smiling at us from the alter. She was so embarrassed.

Oh I made a guest a coffee with bisto powder once.