Grandchildren and viruses

Oh you poor thing , what a dilemma! I can well understand that you would choose flight over fight - I would too. Your son lives with you and obviously wants to see his children, but it must not be at the risk of you feeling so ill again . Do speak to your son about this , be honest and spell our your fears. Between the two of you l hope you are able to reach a solution that works for both of you. Please take care of yourself, and don't feel guilty! I wish you good luck .

I hope you feel better soon now you are on antibiotics. What a difficult situation I can understand how you feel that you just want to run away.

Does your son know how bad you feel at the moment? And is there any special reason your immune system is low? Once you get over this current virus can you explain the situation to your GP and get further advice for going forward?
I expect the covid precautions washing hands open windows may help and it is outdoor weather on its way.
Sympathies to you. You are no doubt feeling very low and I hope once you get over this, you will feel less misersble. I found Floradix supplement good, but there are many others. And make sure you eat plenty of fruit and veg and good food. Brst wishes. X

Buttonjugs I hope you feel better soon. If you don't want to catch any bugs I am afraid the only way to do that is to live in a sterile environment and never go out or interact with any human being or animal ever again.

Sounds harsh but catching bugs is just life. I would rather catch a 100 bugs from my grandsons than never see them again . Especially as my son estranged me in 2020 and I don't get to see my other 3 grandson's. One I have never met or even know his name or exact date of birth.

I was born with a rare hereditary neurological condition and a hole in my heart and have PAF. But I don't let it stop me living my life to the full. Especially as it was my fit healthy husband who got Cancer and died aged 47, 20 years ago.

Live your life to the full otherwise what is the point of living. It's quality of life that counts not quantity . Don't miss out on living because of fear of catching a bug. Remember you pass bugs on to other people. And bugs are in the air we breath.

And if you get this deleted just because of trying to give you a dose of reality so be it. And anyone wants to post nasty things to me do what you want . But think about it and know what I said is true.

I think your post is right Whiff we have to learn how to live with illness
I think there are only a few things you can do
a) meet them outside as much as possible
b) ask your son to meet them outside for a few times until you’re better
c) work on your own anxieties as you surely cant avoid your own grandkids
d) wear a mask
e) try not to be expecting it, half our fear (for all of us) never happens, how many times have we all wasted time and energy worried this is going to happen or that is, but it doesn’t
d) perhaps get some help with your medical fears

I m not diminishing your illness or your fear but we have to fight not succumb

If the children are obviously poorly, should they really be visiting in the first place? I appreciate this could restrict yours son's access but as others have suggested, can't he make other arrangements?

However, when they do visit they should be encouraged to wash their hands frequently, cover their mouths and noses when coughing and sneezing (coughing and sneezing is something we all do even in the absence of infection). These are basic personal hygiene practices after all.

When they visit, could you all spend as much time outside?

I sympathise with you. I used to catch virus's from my school aged children.
To stop this happening now with GC I use an essential oil mixture against cold and flu.
Rub on my neck all winter, it works for me.

I agree with Whiff and Bluebelle. Live the best life you can!

I am immunocompromised and am always catching bugs from my grandchildren. I also have COPD, which was exacerbated over Christmas by a chest infection. I have had a lifetime of this, having worked as a teacher. It won't stop me me making the best of what time I have left.

My GP always used to ask if I had been looking after my granddaughter, who often suffered from croup, when I would turn up at the surgery with it.

Deemed, CEV, I spent two years sheilding from Covid and after that awful and lonely existence, I decided I would not live my life with that kind of fear again and be isolated from my loved ones, despite being told I would probably be dead if I caught it.

As Bluebelle says, there are precautions you can take.
Not dismissing your fears, but I feel for your son. It must be difficult not seeing his children in what is now his home.
Perhaps you should think of seeking medical help to manage your fears.
Have you discussed your anxiety with your GP, if not speak to him/her?

I do hope you can find a solution.

There is no easy answer to this how long will your son be living with you presumably this is not long term and he will want a place of his own.
My son did stay with us for maybe a year and grandchildren stayed with us all on weekends obviously this can not be done outside.
I find I do not actually pick up my grandchildren’s viruses don’t know why presumably my elderly immune system has met these childhood bugs before and fights them off.
Can you be 100% sure you even caught this from your grandchild as we go about daily life we must meet up with the possibility of picking something up.
Hopefully you will soon feel better
Stress and anxiety are awfully bad for our immune system

Buttonjugs, only you know how you feel! I agree it would be dreadful to not see your GC and I hope you are able to find a way round this situation. However , what is right for some people does not mean it is right for you! We all react differently under the similar situations because we are different people . I wish you a satisfactory solution and hope that solution serves you , your son and your GC well. Of course we love our family but only you know how ill you have been - good luck.