Black Dog 20

Ellie Anne does your husband want to go too his brother's funeral? Have you asked him as it's so far from where you live. If he does want you both to go is their a family member who could take you both so neither of you have to drive.
My worry is you say both of you aren't good drivers anymore and 9 hours is a long journey especially as you aren't well. Both of you will be stressed driving and I worry about your safety.

My brother was a HGV driver but he wouldn't drive 9 hours in one go now. He would go half way and stop overnight and then continue his journey.

Also if the funeral is in the morning unless you set out at stupid o'clock it will mean more than one night out.

Did your brother in law have a family and would they want you to travel all that way?

I know it's a lot of questions but these are the things that I would think about.

Night night dear BD's xx

SweetPeaSue- Glad you got out with your Aunt- she must have been so pleased to see you. Maybe she’s a bit nervous in busy places- she sounds sweet though.
It’s only natural you feel frightened sometimes about your DH health. You are right about living in the present more- easier said than done of course. When you think about it the only time we really have is the present - past is gone and future who knows? . If there’s things you both want to do or see now( health permitting) is the time to do it. It certainly applies when you are older. It’s great DH feels like doing his model- good sign.
HVDY- it’s nice your SiL is seeing people again. At least you can enjoy your nice planned week and go when you have some time.
Nadateturbe- it’s so hard for you when you are so wiped out by an active day but housework can take a back seat - get your rest and ignore the dust! Definitely don’t put off anything you are able to do.
A photo book is one you can make online from your library of photos - they’re really easy to do and look great. They are not cheap but have many offers throughout the year.
My brain goes blank too with instructions - it panics me a bit.
Glad you had a better sleep- hope tonight,s good too.
Doodle- it’s so nice to hear from you . Thank you for keeping us posted when you are so tired. You,d think hospital chairs would be more comfortable considering how many people spend hours in them like you . Do you use a hot water bottle on it at home? I hope you get some restful sleep tonight.
Wyllow- echoing what SweetPeaSue says. We all wish for things to be better for you and are just pleased to hear from youxx
Love to all old and newxx

Sweetpeasue please don't worry about the links. Sorry you're feeling so low. This miserable weather doesn't help. Giving you a big hug.x
HVDY the scan was clear, thanks. They were worried as a test result was extremely high and she was given the MRI the next day. I'm sort of glad I didn't know but sorry she worried alone. Her arthritis is getting worse. Isn't worry about our children the worst thing?
When I had an MRI I had a 2mg diazepam which helped, but the noise does go on an awfully long time. Five is quite a lot to have had, but I suppose we are lucky we can have them.

Goodnight to all on BD. I hope you sleep well xx

It’s been a really difficult weekend for various reasons. Dh s oldest brother died yesterday. He was 83 and in poor health but still sad. But I m already getting stressed about funeral . 9 hour drive on busy motorways and finding somewhere to stay probably having to share a room. And neither of us are as good drivers as we used to be. It’s all going round in my head. Trains take too long with lots of changes.

nadateturbe I'm glad you slept ok last night. Has your daughter now had the MRI? If not, hope all goes well. They are horrible, noisy things. I've had 5, and for the last 2 the hospital played the radio through the headphones - I still heard all the noise but the radio was a distraction.

Doodle Glad your husband is at least stable now. You need a decent night's sleep, and some proper rest.

SweetpeaSue Apparently, SIL was in good spirits yesterday. Hope tomorrow will be better for you. Take care.

EllieAnne Hope the weekend hasn't been too bad for you. What's the weather like there?

Hope ALL (so many to mention) BDers have a warm and comfortable night x

Doodle Thankyou for telling us how things are with yourself and DH. I'm glad DH is stable on the antibiotics. I hope your back feels a little better tomorrow, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Remember the Ibuprofen (if you can take it) I'm sure it can help with strained muscles if that's what it is. x
Nadateturbe You understand the problems of the balance between not worrying AC and them not realising the extent of your condition. The breathing technique I do when pain is really bad is just to calm my hyperventilating which an ambulance man explained to me. Its just breathing in for 5 , hold for 5 (or 4!) and out for 5. Trainee psychologist gave me distraction techniques like counting back from 100 in 7s . She emailed me links for relaxation ,which I've not done much (DH can't help laughing so I've tried doing them in bedroom). Not sure if I can do links but will try. Hope you're less tired .It's so draining being awake for hrs. Will try and post links separately in case I lose this post.
HVDY Hope your SIL has responded well to having visitors again and was pleased to see her DH and sister. Hope you've had a good day.

Not great today and feeling really low about .
Hoping everyone is OK. Sorry for not mentioning everyone individually but wishing all BDs a peaceful night in mind and body. X

Thank you for posting Doodle. Love and prayers are with you. xx

Hello all. Very tired tonight been a long day. Still got very bad back. I need to sit and rest in a comfy chair. DH is ok but still on antibiotics. Hope you’re all ok.
Sleep well. Love to you all xx

Slept last night

Just looking at some posts I missed when tired. Apologies if I've ignored someone.

Scaredycat I would like my children to see me when I'm feeling rotten so that they understand and yet I don't want them to worry. We all seem to feel the same.
Headaches with high BP are very unpleasant, and frightening. I hope you don't still get them.
My DD is OK. Thanks. She didn't have a headache, she was doing prep for an MRI and didn't want to tell me! But I knew there was something going on. Seems none of us want to worry each other.
What is a photobook? I don't think crochet is for me either. I hate even simple instructions. My brain goes blank. Horses for courses.
HVDY So funny that you couldn't even make beans on toast! I can picture your husband standing beside the high showing you how to stir. 😁.
We're not totally traditional in our rolls. If we were, I think I would end up doing much more than my husband. I think indoors takes more time.
We cried watching the program too. It was very sad.
Sweetpeasue We don't want them worried, but perhaps it's a good thing that your son has seen your husband as he is, and you a bit. We can't expect help or understanding if they don't know we need it.
Stretching at car parks is difficult , I sometimes have to get out.
Could you possibly give me the link for relaxation videos please?

We all still care Wyllow. I know it must be so very hard for yourself. I wish it could be different . Stay here and know we are all willing you through this. Xx ❤️

Well no but not able to write but thank you xx

Goodnight Wyllow. Hope you're OK. X

Goodnight BD's xx

Nadateturbe When I saw a trainee psychologist she taught me some breathing exercises and gave me a link to some relaxation videos. I try the breathing ones when I get pain ,as I tend to hyperventilate and completely tense up. It can help to an extent. The Oramorph and co-codamol I couldn't do without. I admit to not taking too much time with housework . My house is quite tidy but I'm not overfussy about things these days. We should try and enjoy the rest of our lives as much as is possible. Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.
.

HVDY sounds like your SiL has plenty of visitors lined up this week.
I'm in bed early most nights. Late to bed or early makes no difference to whether I sleep.
Oh for the days when I was afraid of sleeping through the alarm!
Hello to Whiff Wyllow3 EllieAnne Scaredycat and all others on BD.
Doodle thinking of you and your dear husband. xx

Garden centres are great now. I went with my friend on Monday. Sweetpeasue. I have solar lights, but none as interesting as yours. Great that you managed to take auntie out. I'm sure you felt better for having seen her.
Think Garden centre and art was too much. I hate that it is. If I can't sleep I try breathing exercises. If that doesn't work and I'm alert enough I do puzzles, flick through GN and read my kindle. But can be awake for four hours. Sometimes Amitriptyline or magnesium spray. It's a continual problem. No easy answer.
It's great that your husband felt well enough to do his airfix model. Sometimes distraction helps.
You're right, the future is scary and we need to live in the present and enjoy it. Not spending too much time on housework etc , but doing things that will make nice memories. And not putting anything off and regretting it.
I hope you're OK today.

Scaredycat Your day sounds very nice. Cinnamon buns are tasty. I didn't go out (had the house to myself for a while).
nadateturbe I'm not sure when I'll visit SIL - I'm doing something every day next week, at the moment. Her sister from Warminster visited, and SIL's son is going tomorrow. Her daughter might visit, too. You were late to bad last night, so will you be going earlier tonight to make up for it?
SweetpeaSue I know what you mean about trying to live in the present. I don't make plans too far ahead, but then I've always been like that. (That's why I've never got any savings ). I'm glad your husband has felt well enough to do his model plane. I remember my dad liking those Airfix ones.

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Scaredycat I love solar lights. There are such a lot of different ones in the garden centres now. We have a red Air balloon type hanging on our washing line secured with a peg in front of it near the back door. I keep telling my son garden centres have so much apart from plants! I suspect he will find out in another decade or so! Your cinnamon buns sound lovely.
HVDY Glad your brother can see his wife at long last. I hope he doesn't find too much of a change in her as I know that can be so upsetting. Do hope his son is recovering well and as expected from his operation.
Nadateturbe I'm so sorry you are struggling to get back to better health after Wednesday Art class. What do you do when you can't sleep? It's one of the worst tests to be awake during the night and all sorts of worrys and thoughts going through your head. Hope you sleep well tonight.
Doodle I hope this afternoon your DH is looking a little better and his breathing is much better. It's hard when he wants to be home but he really needs to be there for treatment. Your hopes were built up then you keep getting disappointed. Hope you are letting your family help as much as they can. Your DH will want you to be well when he comes home. Big gentle hug 🫂 x
Whiff A nice and kind post to Doodle. Hope you are having a good weekend.
EllieAnne Hope things are not too bad this weekend. I know it's more difficult for you to get out when weather isn't good. At least its not as windy.
Wyllow Thankyou for letting us know you are there and read with us.

Managed to take aunt out to supermarket and cafe. It was touch and go but so relieved I could do this as I hadn't seen her since before Christmas. She doesn't remember it but that's not the point. She seems so uncertain where to walk and appears so anxious about people coming towards her. She did enjoy it though
DH still not right. I'm frightened about it. I think I realise more than ever that we need to live in the present. I wish I'd learnt that more earlier in life. So many times I've thought 'when the summer comes we'll do this'and 'We'll get round to doing so n so later in the year'. I'm feeling scared for the future. Just need to live in the present. Sorry. I'm getting too deep.
DH sat doing a model plane kit. His head must feel better.🤗

Wishing everyone a peaceful night to all reading and BDs old and new.x

Good news HVDY. Will you get to visit SiL soon?
Scaredycat still picking up after Wed art. Can do short posts. Cinnamon buns are delicious.
Whiff yes, it does affect you when your partner is ill. That's love.
Sweetpeasue hope you are both OK.
Doodle such an awful day for you and DH. Sending love.
Love to everyone, thinking of you all. Hope your weekend is OK.x

HVDY- So glad your Brother will be able to see his wife today- she will be happy to see him in her own way I guess. It’s so sad .
Dont blame your DH for shedding a tear at that programme. What a terrible thing to happen to those poor people.
We,ve been to a big garden centre today - it’s so cold out. Got some solar lights - and a couple of pressies. No plants!!! Oh and coffee and cinnamon buns. Hope you,ve had a good day too.
Nadateturbe- hope you managed to sleep last night- it was a late post.
SweetPeaSue- hope you are comfortable today and able to get out together.
Doodle- what a frightening thing to happen for you both. Your mind must have gone into overdrive when you couldn’t reach him. They will take good care of him in the cardiac unit.
The breathlessness must be a horrible sensation both for DH and for you to witness. Good his Oxygen levels are ok.
Sending you love and hope things are quieter for you today.
EllieAnne- hope this weekend is not too stressful for you.
Love to all.

Doodle I am so sorry . I hope they can help your husband and I know it will be hard on both of you but hopefully they won't let him out until he is 100% .

It will have a knock on effect on your own health but that's the price you pay for loving someone . The other half of yourself, the 2 of you make a whole. 💐👫

Oh Doodle you will be so worried about him. Thinking of you both and sending love . Hoping he will be much better this afternoon. Xx

Doodle How alarming and upsetting for you and your husband. Hope things are better for you both later. My brother is visiting his wife this afternoon.