Black Dog 20

priestbridge, yes it is. You are most welcome.
We all have had problems with anxiety, depression, health, family issues. We can’t promise a solution just a sympathetic ear and support.
Have you been feeling like this for a while?

Struggling with anxiety. I don’t know if this is the right thread to post on.

Doodle so glad you and your husband have made a decision. I think it was a case leaving things as they are or having a chance with the operation no matter what they risk.

If my husband had only got one secondary tumour on his lung they would have removed part of his lung but unfortunately with 3 and one in his chest and 2 in the Brain by the optical nerve it was only palliative care.

Hope Mr D enjoys his mobility scooter. I was offered one but I would be a danger to myself and everyone else. Bad enough trying to walk in a straight line without having anything with a motor. Same goes for a walker with wheels . Stick with my trusty walking stick . At least when I walk into things or end up veering up people's drives I can't damage anything but me.

Sorry didn't get round to everyone else but have been reading how you are all are. You are all an inspiration as no matter what life throws at you you keep going. You are a very strong bunch of wonderful woman I don't think you realise just have strong you are. But it shows in your posts. 💪🤗

Night night all BD's xx

EllieAnne That may be true - I do try.
I really don't know how to make him listen . I'm so sorry. Perhaps there was a point when you felt it all went wrong. Maybe that's the place that you need to talk about. But it might be too painful to revisit. I really feel for you EllieAnne. X

Thank you sweet pea sue. You and I would be hopeless chatting on the phone!
Dh doesn’t know about any of the funerals. He doesn’t know the people and doesn’t hear when I speak to him anyway so what’s the point.

Scaredycat I'm so glad to hear your sister is doing so well.She must be a brave and strong person to come through so awful a time in hospital. You and HVDY can give me some tips on how to keep up talking -I end up desperately talking about the weather! I wish it came naturally, I really do .
HVDY I see from your last post you're surrounded by people who can chat easily.Its true it makes it easier to make friends and it will be a bonus for your DIL's DD when she does get a school placement. Sure she will do well at drama and it's good she can have friends there while she waits for school. Thick fog here all day.Yes, the painkillers don't help bowel but it's something v strange. Difficult to go into here but not constipated but go lots of times but bowel wont 'work' . Its v frustrating and painful and I'm sick of it. DH thinks I should see GP but he won't understand-no one did before. I still wonder if there's more bowel adhesions that Gynaecologist didn't tell me about.
Are you on with another painting yet?
* Nadateturbe* I understand that anxiety when both not well. It can leave you feeling v insecure. Makes me worry about getting older and how we can look after ourselves if the time came. Bad dreams leave you feeling so sad and low. My DH never remembers dreams. Do you have them about family? You are brave indeed to live with your condition/illness and it is unpredictable each day as to how you will feel. I understand that much-not easy to pre-arrange anything. Hope you have dreamless peaceful sleep tonight.
EllieAnne I really hate funerals and its no wonder you feel so sad afterwards, especially when she was such a lovely person. It's been a bad few weeks for you having sp many funerals to go to and the worry of your husband's brother's funeral. I still haven't lost my extra weight and feel v uncomfortable with it. Sure it will be easier when the weather is better and makes it more inviting to go out. Your earlier post made me so sad to think of your situation at home. I doubt either of you can be happy. I'm sure you do everything you can do , given the circumstances. No need for any guilt.
Doodle I'm sure when the time is right for your DH to use his scooter the first time will be a but scary but he will soon get the hang of it with practice. As long as he doesn't leave you behind-does it go v fast? How are your knees lately?I have exercises from physio to do for mine. (not done them every single day though).
Thankyou , been good day with bladder but bowel still v uncomfortable and not right.
Wyllow Hope you are OK and sending love and hugs.

Managed to get out today for some shopping and had a coffee . Went on exercise bike for little while.
Hope everyone is OK and those not mentioned separately.
Xx

Nadateturbe- good idea to take it a bit easy - house work can wait. When both of you feel poorly at the same time it’s unnerving I think - hopefully you,ll start socialising soon .
I,m sorry about the dreams - they’re horrible. I had one last night about my friend and it’s still buzzing about in my head.once you start getting out again your head won’t be so full of what ifs.
SweetPeaSue- had nice FT with my Sister - don’t know what we find to natter about but there’s always plenty. Hope you are more comfortable today.
HVDY- yes it was a fun evening. We went to a Pizza Express - we all like th3 food there. The photos were coming every few minutes!
I love that you like to talk - me too. But it does make me very tired afterwards. Haven’t done 6 hours though.
Doodle- thank you my Sister is doing very well- she is like a miracle.
It,ll be so nice once the better weather arrives and DH can get out on his scooter - is there a good path by the river?
The disability vehicles are

such a good thing to help people - I think everyone who needs one should be provided for - it’s like getting some freedom back.
Wyllow- sending a hug.

Love to allx

Just been to my third funeral in a few weeks. Feeling very heavy after it. Lady was about my age and one of the kindest people you could meet. So sad.
I made chicken fried rice tonight and couldn’t eat much. Feeling fat and uncomfortable and only want to eat snacks.
Doodle my dh has a buggy. He got it for the golf but hasn’t used it for months. Occasionally goes to the shop on it .
I’m glad you have decided about the operation.
Very flat tonight. Hope everyone is ok.

Doodle Having a scooter sounds like a very good idea for your husband. It'll be nice in the summer. DIL's daughter goes to drama every Saturday, and she sees others of her age there. She also sees her cousins occasionally (mum takes her as it's 12 miles away). She chats a lot, so will make friends easily - when she gets a place at school. My aqua friend chats a lot, and so does my "garden centre" friend. DH's sister probably talks more than I do .

I have no idea where Father Christmas came from 😱

Bright but cold here today. Not been out but enjoyed the sunshine from indoors.
Scaredycat how lovely you all get in and four generations can enjoy a meal together. So special. Hope your sister is still doing ok.
Thanks nadateturbe ye we are moving forward now. The mobility scooter is new just arrived last week so we can get DH outside when the weather improves a bit.
Hope you are both feeling better soon and able to get out and about a bit more.
Sweetpeasue yes I had a grin at the kerfuffle over seating too. Everyone wants to sit next to grandad 🤣
How have you been today. I’m hoping for a better day for you.?
HVDY that really bad for someone of 13 to not be in school. Apart from anything else she is missing out making friends with the others. I hope she gets a place soon.
I love friends like you who can chat away. I find it more difficult but when there are two of us the same it becomes very stilted.
Keep chatting I’m sure people love to hear from you 😊🎅🏻

SweetpeaSue Sorry you weren't able to go out. Could the bowel trouble yesterday have been exacerbated by the painkillers the other day? It's a "Catch 22" problem for you. I'm glad your husband is going to ring the GP. I hope this weekend is easier for you both.

Doodle Glad you've both made the decision now. Now you can build him up a bit, with all your cooking. I must have missed you saying your husband has got a scooter. DIL's daughter is 13. She's apparently 5th on the waiting list for a place at the school.

ScaredyCat The family evening must have been great. What did you have to eat? I bet someone took photos? DIL's daughter is very good with the baby, makes her laugh a lot.

nadateturbe Bad dreams aren't nice, are they? If you're not going out, perhaps watch an uplifting film or a comedy show? 3 hours of talking is easy for me - I love to yap . My longest-ever telephone conversation was (many years ago) with a friend, for SIX hours! Hope you and your DH have a relaxing day.

It's a grey and foggy morning here (doesn't that mean that it'll be sunny later?). Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Love to all...night night xx

Scaredycat You made me smile at the kerfuffle of who sits where. I could just imagine it.Glad you all had a good time.Have a lovely face-time with your sister.
Nadateturbe Hope you have been alright today and you can sleep tonight.
Doodle Making decisions is my very worst point . I'm sure you have both given it a lot of thought so now just believe in your choice and rest your minds. Easier said than done. I've always felt you believed me and its been such a comfort to be part of BD. I think your DH is so very brave and tolerates his many ailments with so much help and love from yourself. Hope it won't be long before you can walk by the river with DH on scooter!
HVDY It's awful your DGD hasn't a place in school yet. Hope she gets a place soon.

Night all, hope you sleep well.x

We are both still taking it easy. No unnecessary housework. I'm a little anxious at the minute with us not feeling well and not seeing any friends and had more bad dreams last night. But hopefully next week will be better. My problems are absolutely nothing compared to what some of you have been coping with on a daily basis for a long time and still are and I really admire you. You are very strong people and inspirational really.
I hope everyone has a peaceful night xx

Scaredycat sounds like you had a fun time with family last night, and more to come!
Doodle scooter?? I've missed that. Or forgotten.

HVDY 3 hours chatting. Phew! 😁 You get on really well with DiL. I wish I knew your secret. I find it incredible that the gd has still no school place. Very unsatisfactory.
Its fun buying little bits and pieces in shops like B&M.

Doodle It's good to hear you've made a decision. I'm sure it wasn't easy and I'm sure going forward there will be anxious days. I will be thinking about you.
Sweetpeasue Oh dear. Terrible that you had to return home. So disappointing. I hope the bowel problem eased.. And I hope you get out tomorrow. Just have to koko. Thanks for reminding me.

HVDY- hope it won’t be too long before your DiL daughter gets her school place - she must be missing so much. Is she good with Chubby Chops? It’s great you have such a good relationship with DiL - something to be treasured.
SweetPeaSue- we did enjoy the Birthday meal last night thank you. There were 10 of us - 4 generations. So many birthdays this month- always a kerfuffle about who sits where when the GGC are involved😩
So sorry you had to curtail your day out - hope you were able to relax when you got back. Glad DH is calling GP Monday.
Doodle- glad you have both made your decision re DH. Now you can concentrate on building him up and regaining some of your own strength too. What a lovely loving couple you are.
Hope the weather improves too so you can have a maiden voyage with the scooter. Hope you have a good weekend. FaceTime tomorrow with my Sister - if the rain stops hopefully get out somewhere.
Wyllow- love to you too
Sleep well allxxx

Sweetpeasue decision made we are going ahead, no more thinking.
Had a good day doing housework today. I feel good having had a good clean and tidy (home not me unfortunately)
You’re right about the NHs being in a state. Some parts good others not so.
Good your DH has decided to contact GP Monday. Sorry your outing was put off by bowel issues. I really feel for you so much more now that I’ve seen how DH has been affected by pain and discomfort issues. I have always believed you but maybe not been so aware of how hard it is for you.
HVDY glad you had a nice meet up. It’s dreadful that little girl can’t get a place in school. How old is she?
Ah I understand about your GD and her new friends. The problem is that ‘friends’ even not good ones are so important to children. Not having any is as bad as having some that aren’t a good influence. I expect the situation with her mum hasn’t helped her at all. Must be so distressing for all of you but she’s young so needs support and understanding. So glad she’s got you and her dad.
Thanks nadateturbe hope you’ve had a better day today.
Ellie Anne does your pastor make you feel guilty? Trouble is unless you actually walk in someone elses shoes it’s hard to understand what their life is. Perhaps your pastor has no idea how much stress your marriage gives you. I do believe you take good care of your DH from all you’ve said.
Hope you have a more relaxing weekend.
Scaredycat any plans for the weekend. Weather not looking to optimistic. Not quite right for DH to go out on his new scooter.
Wyllow hugs coming your way x

Doodle Hoping you and your DH have had a reasonable day though I'm sure it must be an anxious time making surgery decisions. Think of you throughout the day and just willing things to get better.
Candy Thankyou for your words to me. The NHS is in quite a state isn't it in so many ways. Hope you've had a good weekend with your son and his GF and not too saddened with him leaving.
Scaredycat How have you been today? Hope you enjoyed the birthday celebrations with family. I'm sure it won't be long before the next one! You must have lots of dates on your calendar.
EllieAnne I didn't see your post until later. I'm so sad for you to be living as you are. I understand you will have made many longstanding friends in your church with being there so long. It's so cold and wet it takes a lot of motivation to get out for a walk.
HVDY It's strange you had snow in the Midlands ((I never think of it as the North) when we have nothing here. Shame about missing the day centre though. Glad you met up today with your DIL. Dd and Chubbychops. You must get on so well to chat for 3hrs.
Nadateturbe Hope your DH is better now and you've had a decent day. I must have missed something somewhere about your sister's heath condition , I do hope she's OK and everything is improving. Are you feeling better yourself today?
Whiff Thinking about you and hoping your heart is less heavy. x
Wyllow Sending love and healing vibes.

Very lazy day today. We set off out but had to return as bowel going crazy. Don't understand what is the matter with it. DH still has headaches but says he's calling GP surgery Monday- thumbscrews won't be needed! We both feel v low but koko ,as Wyllow says.

Wishing all a peaceful night. x

How's everyone getting on? It's a drizzly day but really mild. Met DIL, her daughter (still no school place) and Chubby Chops, for a pub lunch and chat, for 3 hours, then bought some things--we don't really need--from B&M.

Lots of thoughtfulness and love

night night all xx

Thankyou Nadateturbe. I do hope you have a peaceful night too. xx